Don’t Drink the Water

Shows what they know. There are at least five rivers in Hades. Honestly, these people want to put Charon out of business.

(Your Baptist church sign of the day from Matthew Paul Turner.)

  • Len

    If they don’t at least have tequila and beer then I’m not going.

    • L.Long

      Well as one of my favorite songs says…
      ‘Till I’m with the drunken angels on the merry side of Hell.’
      So you are probably safe in going there for some fine booze.
      After all why would Satan not have one of the many things there that gets you there?
      I’ve often heard those phoney preaches say that alcohol is the ‘devils drink’.

  • Lurker111

    If I’m going to hell, then I’m demanding a meat-lover’s pizza. With dark Schlitz on draft. With so many toppings that the cheese is totally covered and not visible.

    For this life, I’m trying to go veggie at least a few times a week. :)

  • David Hart

    There are at least five rivers in Hades.

    Yeah, but one of them is actually a river of fire. Careful which tap you use.

    • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

      Meh, they had one of those in Ohio.

      • Alan

        Damn, you catch one river on fire and they never let you forget it!

        • kessy_athena

          Yeah, but then those evil socialist progressives came in and are undermining God’s plan! See what the Cuyahoga river looks like today? http://www.newpig.com/blog/todays-pollution-control-ties-to-river-fire-40-years-ago/ They’re obviously Satan’s minions, trying to make Hell look attractive.

          Disclaimer: As required by Poe’s Law, section 11 paragraph 8, the preceding is hereby identified as 100% sarcasm and snark.

  • Rod

    I’d be tempted to black out the words “water in”, and see what happened!

  • Greg G

    “Meh, they had one of those in Ohio.”

    Cleveland is Hades.

  • trj

    According to Google Maps water is abundant in Hell.

  • The Vicar

    If I ever saw this around somewhere, I’d either firmly attach an “OUT OF ORDER” sign to the fountain, in such a way that it was extremely difficult to remove, or else I’d put a sign underneath the original one saying “That’s a very roundabout way of saying ‘out of order’, don’t you think?”.

  • L.Long

    The sign is 100% correct.
    Haven’t you heard the fire breathing preachers state that ‘demon alcohol is the devils drink’
    so there would only be vodka, whiskey, bourbon, Irish Mist (my favorite), etc in Hell.

  • http://yaburrow.googlepages.com yvonne

    Sorry to be pedantic, but Hades and Hell are not the same thing. In Greek mythology, Hades was a place of shadows and rest. A few people, like Tantalus and Damocles, got tormented, but not everyone. It never seemed quite clear why some people got to go to the Elysian fields when they died, and why some people only got to go to Hades, but it was not generally seen as a punishment to go there. Whereas the Christian Hell seems to be derived from the Hebrew idea of Gehenna. I am not sure how it managed to acquire the name of the Norse underworld of the dead (Helheim) which was not particularly pleasant, but also not seen as a place of punishment. Anyway, I’m going to Valhalla :)


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