For those who don’t know, Michele “crazyeyes” Bachmann has decided not to run for re-election. Why? Rumor has it that she’s under investigation for financial shenanigans.
The most glaring problem for Bachmann, though, may be a swirl of investigations into her campaign finances. The Federal Election Commission and the Office of Congressional Ethics are investigating whether her campaign concealed payments to an Iowa state senator who did work for her 2012 presidential bid. (A state ethics law bars senators from doing paid campaign work.)
“I have decided next year I will not seek a fifth Congressional term,” she said in a video on her campaign Web site. “This decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign or my former presidential staff,” she added.
“And those incriminating photos of me snorting coke off of a Bible … wait, those haven’t hit the news yet? Well, when they do, they have nothing to do with my decision!”