This Isn’t Going to End Well

Jeff Hanneman, pioneering guitarist who helped form the metal band Slayer, has died. He was struck down by liver failure, exacerbated by a flesh-eating disease that affected his arm, perhaps caused by a spider bite.

That’s kind of a metal way to go.

Slayer is hard to classify, in part because they’ve been around long enough that they’re a genre all to themselves. Thrash/speed metal, maybe. Their fans have a reputation for being fanatical in their devotion to the band. Being the opening act for Slayer is a rough gig, because the fans aren’t shy in letting you know that you’re not Slayer.

Well, at Hanneman’s funeral, Fred Phelps has volunteered to be the opening act.

*wince* This is gonna get ugly.

The Way Too Philosophical Pop Song
All Cycles Come to an End
Simon Says …
So Long, Pete, It’s Been Good to Know Ya
  • ElDouchee
  • trj

    WBC is in the habit of announcing pickets for which they never show up. I’m guessing for most of those they had no intention of showing up in the first place; they just want the attention that automatically comes with their announcements.

    • Leiningen’s Ants

      Crap, and I fell for it again. You’re probably 100% correct. I suppose I need to do some introspective thinking about my love for bad drama now.

  • busterggi

    Maybe not well but certainly entertaining.

    • Leiningen’s Ants

      Seriously, for all the good it does, I’m praying for a lawn chair and popcorn-worthy scene. It’d be cathartic to see them chased off by rocks, windows busted out as they evacuate in their vans. It happened once before, wish I knew where the video went.

  • Kagi Soracia

    Might not be just Slayer fans, either – David Draiman was exhorting all metal fans to stand together and support each other through the mourning on Disturbed’s facebook page. None of us have any love for WBC, that’s for sure.

  • lorimakesquilts

    LOL They’re too smart to actually show up for that one. Slayer fans are not exactly known for putting up with any kind of shit like the WBC.

  • RobF

    Depends on your definition of “well”. Sounds like things will end well to me. R.I.P. JH

  • Paul L Hardy

    I think it is time for a Phelps “come to Jesus meeting”. Sorry, I was raised southern Baptist and worked for Catholic Social services and I have always liked the phrase. If they show then perhaps he will receive the reaction he deserves. Of course he will turn whatever happens into a spin that works for his horde/family.

  • smf74

    I am a huge Slayer fan and have been to countless Slayer concerts. If WBC does show, Slayer fans will acknowledge them by introducing them to the pit.
    “Ripping apart, severing flesh, gouging eyes, tearing limb from limb.”