Todd Bentley is in a league of his own. I’m convinced that fringe lunatics are embarrassed by Todd Bentley. Somewhere in the shriveled lump that is his heart, Fred Phelps is ashamed to be part of the same religion as Todd Bentley.
This is from Bentley’s latest email blast seeking to raise money for his ministry in Uganda. He tells the story of a recent healing:
They brought a woman that had been to all the witch doctors and all the magic soothsayers and whatever she could do to get healed because she had breast cancer. The doctors could do nothing to help her. So she went to the witch doctors and she got involved in all the magic. She said, “I just want to be healed.” She was a notable woman of government. Everybody knew who this woman was, and they knew she had cancer.
After they failed to get her healed, medically and witchcraft, she needed to have surgery to remove one breast. They totally removed one breast from cancer. She was in the crowd that night with maybe six or seven thousand people. As she was standing in the crowd, the power of God came all over her and she grew a brand new breast. They brought her onto the platform and I had never seen anything like this in my life.
This woman was weeping and crying and screaming and jumping up and down. She was excited. The people were like, “What happened to this woman? Is this possible?” Right after that, they brought two more people onto the platform. The woman was born without the parts that a woman needs, and the man as well because of a cancerous tumor. Both of them were instantly healed. This man and woman both received a reproductive miracle in their body. All the reproductive organs and parts grew back in the meeting at the same time that this woman’s breast came back.
The next day when I showed up, all the witch doctors and all the people that believed in witchcraft showed up at the meeting because they said, “We need to meet the white man that has power to make breasts grow.”
“God came all over her …”
… I’m just gonna let you fill in your own joke here. Try not to get us kicked off of Patheos.