The New Atheist Nightmare: Cats

This is even better than the banana. And by “better” I mean “dumber”:

“If atheism were true, why do cats have pretty stripes on them?”

You know what that means, don’t you?

Via Scotteriology. Warning: pictures of spiders. With wings.

  • Yoav

    Now I finally understand PZ Myers’ aversion of cats, they’re his kriptonite.

  • Mick

    Looks interesting but who wrote it? Who published it? Is it authentic? How would we know?

    • VorJack

      Is it authentic?

      We don’t know. Poe’s law is in effect.

      That said, most of the sentences around the highlighted text are standard apologetic tropes. It seems a long way to go to bury a joke abut cats.

      • JohnMWhite

        I’ve actually seen this one online before, and it was treated as genuine from that source, though I can’t recall exactly where it was that I came across it.

    • Mick

      Thanks for your replies Vorjack and JohnMWhite.

  • mikespeir

    Oh, no! The argument from pretty stripes! WLC?

    • Divan Roets

      What can us puny atheists do in defense?! Oh no!

  • Greg G.

    If atheism is false, why do cats with pretty stripes get eaten by coyotes?

  • duke_of_omnium

    And if there’s no God, then why is there a Chinese menu beneath the leaflet, at the exact time I could really go for some chicken lo mein?

  • Greg G.

    Two sentences earlier: “Imagine what evil will come of atheism if it is allowed to blossom in society!”

    We don’t know that evil would come, so you’ll just have to imagine it. We see the problems with false religions in society. It would be better if nobody followed false religions. So until it can be shown that one and only one relifion is true, it’s better for society to follow no religion.

  • kessy_athena

    Uhhh, Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, and Margaret Sanger? Am I perhaps thinking of the wrong Margaret Sanger? Maybe there’s a serial killer named Margaret Sanger? Like the time Bachmann confused John Wayne with John Wayne Gacy?

    Actually, Lenin in no way belongs in that group, either. But I’m just writing that off to the general historical illiteracy of the right wing.

    • Yoav

      Margaret Sanger advocated for women being treated as actual human beings which have the right to decide what happens to their own bodies, in fundiland that’s much worse then, just a random example, decades long organized coverup of child rape.

    • JohnMWhite

      I want to know how Columbine fits in. Those kids were catastrophically bullied by biology nerds and went on a rampage over the fossil record?

    • evodevo

      Margaret Sanger, birth control, Satan. QED !!!

  • GubbaBumpkin

    “Pretty” is in the mind of the beholder.

  • http://www.everydayintheparkwithgeorge.com/ Matt Eggler

    I’m Saved! and to think the answer to my wrong-headed atheism has been curled up in the chair opposite me all along! Actually, I don’t think these people will be happy with the truth; my cat knows who God is and it is himself.

    As someone once said, “feed a dog and he thinks you’re God, feed a cat and he thinks he’s god”.

    • kessy_athena

      No, no, you’ve got it wrong. Cats know for a fact that they’re god whether you feed them or not. Feeding them merely demonstrates that you are sufficiently pious to merit being honored by being sat upon.

  • busterggi

    My cat is sitting next me right now. She has no stripes. Therefore there is no god.

  • Turtle

    Cat allergies are further proof of creationism.

  • happydog

    And really, what exactly does an atheism blossom look like? Supposedly it comes from an atheism plant, but an atheist bush? An atheist vine? The atheist tree? and if there are blossoms, is there atheist fruit? What happens if you eat it? Do you start believing in cats?

  • smf74

    HAIL KITTEN!

  • Makoto

    All hail ceiling cat and its pretty stripes, which may or may not be there…

  • Divan Roets

    Oh my word…Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The concept of beauty is highly restricted to us as humans only. Beauty does not exist in nature, ‘pretty flowers’ look the way they are to attract pollinators, for example.

    • Nebuladance

      And stripes are not decoration, they’re camouflage.

  • Alice

    What’s with all the giant spaces? That’s some lousy formatting.

    • Myxini

      no, it’s justified to fill the entire column width, having a jagged right margin reduces readability in columns. they do the same thing in newspapers. Sometimes (like this) they just expand the spaces between the words, and sometimes they’ll increase kerning too, which also l o o k s w e i r d . basically they’re trying to cram too many long-ish words into a too-narrow column, and this kinda thing happens.

  • RickRayFSM

    Don’t they teach SCIENCE in America’s BUYBULL BELT? A rhetorical ??????


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