Atheist registry

Some moron in Florida discovered a computer and used it to share an INTERESTING idea: he wants to compile a national registry of atheists.

“I mean, think about it. There are already National Registrys [sic] for convicted sex offenders, ex-convicts, terrorist cells, hate groups like the KKK, skinheads, radical Islamists, etc..” Stahl writes. “This type of ‘National Registry’ would merely be for information purposes.”

Though he views us in the same light as terrorists, he was kind enough to provide our rabble with an explanation.

Now, many (especially the atheists), may ask “Why do this, what’s the purpose?” Duhhh, Mr. Atheist for the same purpose many States put the names and photos of convicted sex offenders and other ex-felons on the I-Net – to INFORM the public! I mean, in the City of Miramar, Florida, where I live, the population is approx. 109,000. My family and I would sure like to know how many of those 109,000 are ADMITTED atheists! Perhaps we may actually know some. In which case we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of atheism. Or perhaps they are radical atheists, whose hearts are as hard as Pharaoh’s, in that case, if they are business owners, we would encourage all our Christian friends, as well as the various churches and their congregations NOT to patronize them as we would only be “feeding” Satan.

Frankly, I don’t see why anyone would oppose this idea – including the atheists themselves (unless of course, they’re actually ashamed of their atheist religion, and would prefer to stay in the ‘closet.’).

You know the solution to this kind of horseshit?  Education.  Sadly, education has this nasty problem of also convincing people that Canaanite Jews don’t really rise from the dead.

Take a moment, eat some paint chips, and try to put yourself in Pastor Mike’s shoes.  He acknowledges our need to know about dangerous people like murderers and sex offenders living among us, a position he’d actually get some support on from a lot of people.  And if he is right about a literal hell, in which most Christians believe, wouldn’t people with the potential to send the innocent to it surely be greater threats than murderers or sex offenders?  Who would you rather claim as your neighbor: somebody who may kill your child or someone who may commit her to an eternity of dying over and over again as she burns?  If what this man (and many more less overtly idiotic Christians) believe is true, then this type of lunatic position becomes more sensible.

This is the problem of religion, and a terrible problem with our approach to it.  Most religious people are acting rationally within the context of their beliefs.  It is not their intentions that are the problem, but their malformed ideas about the universe that twist the believers into goons.  This is why it saddens me that some atheists are so reticent to offend the faithful by suggesting that their beliefs are foolish.  We need to treat beliefs like they fucking matter.

Or, they will tell us that if we just bring the liberal religious people (most of whom believe in a hell awaiting the non-Christians) to our side, they will police the problematic believers.  How?  By telling the loonies that the liberal has a different idea about the will of god?  Fantastic.  Let’s fight one bad conclusion with another bad conclusion.  News flash: none of them have good reasons.  Each and every one of them believe through the same set of shitty reasons, and where you have no good reasons to believe you lose your power to effectively tell somebody else they’re wrong.

I have an idea: let’s police the shitty idea born of religion ourselves!  We have logical arguments for why the nutters are truly wrong!  Yes, those arguments also eliminate the god of the liberal Christians and yes they’ll be terribly offended.  Tough shit.  You can scream that the fundamentalists do not represent your religion until your throat bleeds, but the truth is that your religion is no more likely to be true, and that’s an important distinction.  When you open the door to believing things for bad reasons, you do not only get people doing good things for bad reasons – you frequently get Pastor Mikes and worse.  Bad reasoning is anathema to us; it is the corrupter of good intentions.  We should fight to purge it from our society.  Besides, it’s not like the liberal Christians will quit their ‘we think god is nicer’ schtick (while asserting the same evidence as the crazies) if we set ourselves to telling the damn truth.

On a final note, while I think the idea of this registry is laughably ridiculous and flagrantly illegal, there’s a small part of me that would be ok with an atheist registry for two reasons.  First, I suspect the ‘let’s play nice and coexist’ atheists would quickly get to see, beneath the vandalism, boycotts, and discrimination, just how well that strategy works.  I mean, there’s a reason most atheists stay in the closet – it’s because the followers of the most loving religion have arranged social penalties for coming out of it (and if you think that’s untrue, ask Damon Fowler what he thinks).  Imagine if they knew precisely who we were.

And for the second, the nation would finally realize just how many of us there are.

  • Sean Gray

    It’s an interesting idea but the trouble is that it would be difficult for people to actually use. Who can go to the effort of memorising all the atheists in their town before going to the shops?

    Perhaps we could expand on the idea of a registry by giving people little badges to wear when they’re out and about so that everybody could see that they’re an atheist? It doesn’t have to be anything complicated – just a simple thing like a little yellow star or something.

  • http://mid-west-atheist.blogspot.com/ Volizden

    “This type of ‘National Registry’ would merely be for information purposes.”

    I am sure that’s what the Nazi’s said in Germany about the Jewish registration…

  • http://www.kiva.org/team/kathleen Stéphane

    I learned from a couch surfer from the Czech Republic that his country was full of non-beleivers… which is confirmed by the wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czech_Republic#Religion

    So the guy can immediately add more than 6 million names ;-)

  • http://honesttogodless.blogspot.com Matt Foss

    Funny that you picked that cartoon for this post – the exact same image came to mind when I wrote about it.

  • &re@

    I’m with Sean and Volizden on this holocaust waiting to happen business. We at least deserve our own patch though. Perhaps some lovely scarlet A’s… wait that was already taken. Well, then again… adulterers, atheists… they are all going the same place or something right???

    And yeah Stephane, the Czech Republic is 95 or so % atheists. It is mostly as a result of constant turmoil created by continual oppression, the often changing government and “national” religion. I’m not sure though this guy is thinking global. At least not yet. He seems a bit too closed minded to come up with such an idea. I’m sure eventually he’ll turn the dial to maximum oppression though.

    And here’s some situational irony for you… a country rock song praising god began playing on my Big Band Pandora station. Must be punishing me for the blasphemy… Snap. Schooled me good.

  • http://www.cosmicsnark.com Cosmic Snark

    Hmm, I smell an Android or iPhone app. Make an app that uses a smartphone’s GPS capability and link it to the national registry of atheists. That way, all the insane Christers know where all the atheists are where they’re driving, so they can be oppressed and proselytized to with maximum efficiency!

    *shudder*

  • Jonathan Figdor

    Doesn’t Atheist Nexus already exist? Just sayin’…

  • Backin15

    More and more you have me thinking about the ‘let’s play nice and coexist’ way of thinking. As I was reading your wrap-up, I thought about the “First they came…” statement (link below). Right now there are those that do not “speak out” because they want to “play nice and coexist”. If a registry is created, I would think we would see the “First they came…”, first hand.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came%E2%80%A6


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