I am the not-so-proud owner of a Shake Weight

I love working at the SSA.  Jesse Galef, our Communications Director, got me a cane for my birthday.  Today I received a belated gift from our Resource Coordinator, ‘Imperator’ Nick Stancato.

I feel buff already.  Sadly, the web site for the Shake Weight is very…what’s the word…fey?

Shake Weight® Utilizes New Workout Technology Called
Dynamic Inertia, which can increase Muscle Activity to nearly
300% compared to a Standard Dumbbell.*
• Scientifically Proven Results
• Get Incredible Results in Just 6 Minutes a Day
Designed Specifically For Women

Designed for women?  Balls.  David Burger is gonna have a field day with that one.  Plus, I know what both the words ‘dynamic’ and ‘inertia’ mean, and I’m pretty sure the concept doesn’t equate to ‘NEW TECHNOLOGY ZOMG!!!’

If your arms aren’t on fire after just 6 minutes, return the Shake Weight for a 100% refund of EVERY dime you paid – we’ll even pay to take it back!

Just like the buffet down the street which claims they have all-I-can-eat – this is false advertising.

I threw it on the groooooooooooooooooooooooound!!!!  Great gift, but if anybody is telling you that you can get into stellar shape in six minutes a day, they are fucking lying to you.

The American Heart Association says you should exercise 30 minutes a day, even if that’s just walking and even if you have to break it up.  That is scientifically proven.  There is a miracle way to get in better shape, but it’s not this gimmick or any other.  It’s freaking 30 minutes of exercise per day and monitoring your diet.  That’s it.

Ditch this bullshit.  Thanks for the shitty gift, Nick.  :P

  • http://coffeelovingskeptic.com Tony Ryan – Coffee Loving Skeptic

    Ah, bliss. The sound of pseudoscience being crushed under the weight of sceptical mockery!

  • &re@

    First off, yeah, Shake Weights are silly and useless.

    Secondly, I’d like to point out an item you jumped on a little crooked. Per usual, I’m pointing out the gaps in logic. :)

    You quoted them: “If your arms aren’t on fire after just 6 minutes, return the Shake Weight for a 100% refund of EVERY dime you paid – we’ll even pay to take it back!”

    Following the quote you wrote, “anybody is telling you that you can get into stellar shape in six minutes a day, they are fucking lying to you.” Fair enough but that isn’t what they claimed. They claimed that they would give you your money back if “your arms aren’t on fire after just 6 minutes.” It is a subtle difference but a difference. What really sucks here is that they utilize that difference, or really utilize the perception that there is no difference. They don’t claim but just using it 6 minutes a day is going to rock your body into this amazing humaniod with tone worthy of sculptures. They just said using this as intended your arms will be on fire in 6 minutes.

    Now, JT, don’t misinterpret this as disagreement. I wholeheartedly agree with you on many of your points. I think though in your mind you had busted their statement more clearly and just neglected to convey that linear thought in your post. Instead you made a jump that cost you logic points. You know… because I’m grading this like a college paper. :P

    As a fun end note, and thirdly because lists feel like they have to have at least three items, I wonder what they require as proof that your arms aren’t on fire. Do they take your word that your arms don’t hurt after the 6 minutes? Or do they watch you do it for 6 minutes and then point out that your arms are not literally on fire?


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