Well, fuck this morning

I’m in the airport waiting to board a plane to the lovely land of Nebraska for the Midwest Humanist and Freethought Conference.  God is trying to stop me.

I had to go by an ATM this morning.  It was one of those ATMs that eats your card and then beeps at you to take it back.  On this morning I left before the beeping started, which means that hungry, hungry ATM still has my debit card.

I realized this when I was checking in the suitcase full of SSA supplies about ten minutes ago.  I had twenty minutes to check the suitcase at a fee of $25.  The ATM in question was 40 minutes away, and any SSA employees were 20+ minutes away.  I had $21 in cash.

I asked a lovely Russian couple if I could have $4 and thankfully they gave it to me.  I gave them my business card and told them to email me.  I hope they have paypal.

What this means is that I have no money available with which to eat this weekend or to check the SSA suitcase on the way home.  Who wants to buy me a few salads in Omaha this weekend?  (Update: I just got a text from Jen McCreight.  She is going to reach down into her underpaid, graduate student coffers and be my sugar mama for the weekend.  And they say atheists aren’t charitable.  I love her.  Still, if anybody feels like supplementing her aid this weekend, I’d appreciate it.)

On top of that, the Delta employee helping me was about as sympathetic as a chainsaw.  Thanks, Delta.

And the red, patriotic cherry on top was that on this morning the TSA elected to fight terrorism by throwing away my toothpaste.  I feel safer now, or severely annoyed – one of those two.  So when they pulled me aside to pat me down I moaned inappropriately when the TSA agent’s hand got close to my nether regions.  He didn’t find it nearly as amusing as I did.

Who wants to give me hugs in Omaha tonight?

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