Well, fuck this morning

I’m in the airport waiting to board a plane to the lovely land of Nebraska for the Midwest Humanist and Freethought Conference.  God is trying to stop me.

I had to go by an ATM this morning.  It was one of those ATMs that eats your card and then beeps at you to take it back.  On this morning I left before the beeping started, which means that hungry, hungry ATM still has my debit card.

I realized this when I was checking in the suitcase full of SSA supplies about ten minutes ago.  I had twenty minutes to check the suitcase at a fee of $25.  The ATM in question was 40 minutes away, and any SSA employees were 20+ minutes away.  I had $21 in cash.

I asked a lovely Russian couple if I could have $4 and thankfully they gave it to me.  I gave them my business card and told them to email me.  I hope they have paypal.

What this means is that I have no money available with which to eat this weekend or to check the SSA suitcase on the way home.  Who wants to buy me a few salads in Omaha this weekend?  (Update: I just got a text from Jen McCreight.  She is going to reach down into her underpaid, graduate student coffers and be my sugar mama for the weekend.  And they say atheists aren’t charitable.  I love her.  Still, if anybody feels like supplementing her aid this weekend, I’d appreciate it.)

On top of that, the Delta employee helping me was about as sympathetic as a chainsaw.  Thanks, Delta.

And the red, patriotic cherry on top was that on this morning the TSA elected to fight terrorism by throwing away my toothpaste.  I feel safer now, or severely annoyed – one of those two.  So when they pulled me aside to pat me down I moaned inappropriately when the TSA agent’s hand got close to my nether regions.  He didn’t find it nearly as amusing as I did.

Who wants to give me hugs in Omaha tonight?

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.