I’m in the airport waiting to board a plane to the lovely land of Nebraska for the Midwest Humanist and Freethought Conference. God is trying to stop me.
I had to go by an ATM this morning. It was one of those ATMs that eats your card and then beeps at you to take it back. On this morning I left before the beeping started, which means that hungry, hungry ATM still has my debit card.
I realized this when I was checking in the suitcase full of SSA supplies about ten minutes ago. I had twenty minutes to check the suitcase at a fee of $25. The ATM in question was 40 minutes away, and any SSA employees were 20+ minutes away. I had $21 in cash.
I asked a lovely Russian couple if I could have $4 and thankfully they gave it to me. I gave them my business card and told them to email me. I hope they have paypal.
What this means is that I have no money available with which to eat this weekend or to check the SSA suitcase on the way home. Who wants to buy me a few salads in Omaha this weekend? (Update: I just got a text from Jen McCreight. She is going to reach down into her underpaid, graduate student coffers and be my sugar mama for the weekend. And they say atheists aren’t charitable. I love her. Still, if anybody feels like supplementing her aid this weekend, I’d appreciate it.)
On top of that, the Delta employee helping me was about as sympathetic as a chainsaw. Thanks, Delta.
And the red, patriotic cherry on top was that on this morning the TSA elected to fight terrorism by throwing away my toothpaste. I feel safer now, or severely annoyed – one of those two. So when they pulled me aside to pat me down I moaned inappropriately when the TSA agent’s hand got close to my nether regions. He didn’t find it nearly as amusing as I did.
Who wants to give me hugs in Omaha tonight?