Best of #ChurchTweet

To recap: Dave Silverman, PZ Myers, and I have decided that the #ChurchTweet trend now belongs to us (#plunder).  We are encouraging atheists in church, synagogue, or mosque to tweet their amusements/frustrations and then on Monday and Thursday I will compile the Best of #ChurchTweet.

And away we go!

@MatthiasDowdell:  I only worship gods that prevent child rape. Oh yours doesn’t do that? Well, count me out then. #churchtweet

And yet, how many Catholics have not caught onto this simple idea?

oskEasy:  Just like school , 1st few rows are paying attention #churchtweet

Unlike school, skipping makes you ultra rad.

miriksmit: God’s ‘moral logic’: 1. Make homosexuality punishable by death. 2. Create gays & bisexuals. #ChurchTweet

miriksmit: God’s ‘moral logic’: 1. Claim to be source of morality. 2. Promote rape, incest, misogyny, mass murder, slavery & ignorance. #ChurchTweet

miriksmit:  God’s ‘moral logic’: 1. Command people not to kill. 2. Command followers to kill defenseless men, women, children & animals. #ChurchTweet

Nice three’fer.

spinozasbicycle:  Sometimes the Lord will put you on your back so the only place you have to look is up #churchtweet” #kinky

If she demands you call her the Lord in bed, run.  Run like the wind.

legendaryasshol:  The #NYPD are a lot like Religion #ChurchTweet You think there’s justice but it’s not really there, and nobody answers any real questions!

Somewhere Ed Brayton is doing a jig.

PaulaDorelle:  God ALWAYS anoints my Pastor w/ a message that’s PERFECT for my situation! Works every time! #GodLovesMe #Churchtweet

If this is true, why not put yourself into a more profitable situation?  Buy a lottery ticket and do an empirical test.  Or were you just talking about generally good advice that can be retrofitted to a bunch of different situations?

Lastly, you may recall from my post the other day my brief exchange with sashag12.

sashag12:  all the time god is good #churchtweet

I tweeted back…

jteberhard: Stillborns? Earthquakes? AIDS? Cancer? Tornadoes? Do you and I live on the same planet? RT @sashag12: all the time god is good #churchtweet

Seemed like a perfectly sensible response to me.  If god is good, why did the bastard come up with cancer?  Dick move, god.  Dick move.

Well, sashag12 couldn’t believe I’d be so disrespectful…

sashag12:  @jteberhard u bout to get all the way snapped on talkin ungreatfull like that swaggless guy, jump off a bridge and get off myTL

Snapped on?

Well, he was right about one thing…

jteberhard:  @sashag12 Ungrateful for earthquakes and other forms of needless human suffering at the hand of god (if god exists). Guilty.

If god made all that stuff, I’m admittedly ungrateful.  Pretty much in the same way a victim of the mob is ungrateful for the cement shoes.

sashag12:  @jteberhard how u think all that come about, god dont get mad and one day say okay im finna make a tornado or a earthquake #shame

Has this dude read the bible?

“Therefore I will make the heavens tremble, and the earth will be shaken from its place at the fury of the LORD of hosts in the day of His burning anger.” ~ Isaiah 13:13

“The LORD [is] slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit [the wicked]: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds [are] the dust of his feet. “ ~ Nahum 1:3

So do I think god gets made and sends earthquakes and tornadoes?  Hells yeah, homie.

jteberhard:  @sashag12 Then god didn’t make everything (in w’ch case why think he made anything?) Also bible describes what god does when angry. #plagues

Did I get back a clarification on whether or not sashag12 thought god created all things or just some things?  Nope!

sashag12:  @Theoretica @jteberhard OKAY FUCK BOTH YALL, take yall atheis ass down the stair way to HELL #UGONELEARNTODAY IN MY KEV HEART VOICE

I can tell sashag12 is going to be my friend on #ChurchTweet for weeks to come.  :)  Will see all you #ChurchTweet atheists on Wednesday night!

  • http://ourfreerangelife.blogspot.com/ Leanna

    These are great. Can you organize something for the #ILoveJesus trend next?

  • Glodson

    This is refreshing. Mostly because I’m glad I’m not the only one that gets dragged out to Church occasionally thanks to certain ties I have with my loved ones. It’s been two years that I’ve avoided it, maybe I can keep this record pace going!

    If not, at least I know that other people are in there with me, having “evil” thoughts.


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