So we made our tweets, had our giggles, and went back to eating. Then Eric, another person at the table, informed us that people were already doing this. It seems to be a largely religious trend.
Even more reason for us to do this! We’re pirates! I say we procure this vessel for our own fleet! Let’s just acquire this trend for our side. Every Monday and Thursday morning I will compile the best of #churchtweet. Does your family make you languish through a service weekly? Bi-weekly? Bust out your 21st century gizmos and vent your frustration to the world! Synagogue or mosque, doesn’t matter! Let us know some of the silliness you have to endure!
As far as silliness goes, you may have to compete with some of the real believers. I wouldn’t be surprised to see some of them making a best of #churchtweet post.
Good ones so far are…
An intelligent designer would have designed them to shut their food holes during service, wouldn’t he? Blame god.
Because they want them closer to the pastor, obviously. Hallelujah!
rkent45: In whatever you do today, remember God is beside you. And no matter what comes your way remember His hand will guide you.
Everybody having sex gets a surprise orgy!
Charlax3: Tackle life’s problems by trusting God’s promises #ChurchTweet
What problem does that work for? Not strong enough? Work out! Secular solution.
Sick? Go to a doctor. Secular solution.
Unless god’s sole promise is “fix things your own damn self” this advice is lame.
KirstenLJ: Thank non-existent god that I grew up in a news biz family where Sunday mornings were dedicated to reading the newspaper #churchtweet
KirstenLJ: Worshiping my 60 inch gleaming god at the Church of Couch right now #churchtweet
Hooray for using Sunday morning for something productive!
sashag12: all the time god is good #churchtweet
I tweeted back…
jteberhard: Stillborns? Earthquakes? AIDS? Cancer? Tornadoes? Do you and I live on the same planet? RT @sashag12: all the time god is good #churchtweet
God is good like a chainsaw gives good hugs.