Godless NFL Thread

The Raiders play the Packers today.  Let’s not talk about that.

Let’s talk about Tebow, because I want to see him lose so badly.  I want this in part because Oakland will probably lose today and they’re tied with Denver atop their division.  The other part of me wants to see Tebow lose for being such an insufferable faithhead and using his (undeserved) platform to advocate for all kinds of stupidity.  Did any of you read the Examiner article about Jake Plummer’s comments about Tebow?  William Hamby says a lot of things I agree with in that article.  Among them, he summarizes my feelings of Denver’s pseudo-quarterback.

He has received what many believe to be an inordinate amount of coverage for poor statistical performances that have nonetheless led to victories for the foundering Denver Broncos.

More to the subject matter at hand, Tebow is also very, very well known for being a devoted Christian.  Whether he’s tackling his mother to end abortion (no… really!) or tweeting Bible verses before games to his starry-eyed fans, or evangelizing to teammates (or anyone else who will listen), Tebow is definitely a Christian.  No doubt about it.  For anyone.  Ever.  He makes sure of it.  Every chance he gets.

It drives me up a tree when people say “Tebow keeps winning”.  First, he’s played like an eighth-string quarterback.  The Denver defense has stepped up to help mitigate Tebow’s shitty offensive performances.  Tebow’s savior isn’t Jesus, it’s the Broncos defense, though Tebow would never admit it.  Since Tebow took over, only once has their defense allowed more than two touchdowns.  Thankfully, that occasion was last week against the floundering Vikings which, like so many other Bronco wins with Tebow at the helm, Denver managed to eek by – thanks to Tebow, for the first time in his NFL career, completing more than 50% of his passes against Minnesota’s lackluster defense.

Sadly, Denver is getting another injury-depleted team this week in Chicago.  The Bears have lost three straight and have some serious quarterback issues, which sets up Denver’s defense to win another game despite Tebow’s lame stats.  I can’t wait to see Denver run up against a decent team that isn’t depleted by injuries and see a repeat of what Detroit did to Tebow.

Upset pick of the week:  Panthers over the Falcons

So here’s a place for all you godless football fans to chat today.  Bonus points for inventive Tebow gripes.


Image via Courtney Alexandra.

  • jamessweet

    As a Bills fan, all I can say is: Quit yer complainin’!

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=560212430 Andora

    FUCK YEAH, SPOOOOOOOOOORTSSSSS!

  • ccaldwell314

    I don’t think you can post pictures here, so I’ll just leave this little Tebow gem here.

  • slc1

    There is nothing new here about the lame stream media hyping a very ordinary football player into star status beause of something entirely unrelated to his performance.

    One need only recall one Joe Willy Namath, perhaps the most overrated quarterback in NFL history. The lamestream media fawned over Joe Willy after Super Bowl III where his Jets upset the heavily favored then Baltimore Colts because he had predicted the upset before the game. What the lamestream media ignored was the the only thing that Joe Willy contributed to the Jets victory was not screwing up and throwing interceptions, which he was wont to do throughout his career. The Jets victory was due to the performance of their defense and running back Matt Snell, not to Joe Willy.

  • ccaldwell314

    More Tebow goodness(or badness, I guess).

  • Zugswang

    There’s not much else you can say when the Manning-less Colts are still a better passing team than the Broncos. Tim Tebow is the perfect “wildcat formation” QB, which is amusing, because it’s also the football phenomenon that he will most likely to be compared with a few years down the road when everyone has quietly swept this season’s flavor of the week under the rug.

    But hey, at least he has a lucrative back up career as an evangelist doing about the same thing he does now: getting money from gullible idiots vainly hoping for a savior.

  • http://www.facebook.com/connorbd BrianX

    Tebow should do a few years in Canada, see how Tebowing goes down up there.

  • http://freethoughtblogs.com/xblog/ Greg Laden

    Imma steal that picture.

  • Stacy

    I think everyone here should feel really sorry for me because I am a huge Broncos fan. I am conflicted. I really want the Broncos to win but I really enjoy watching Tebow get sacked.

    You should feel even sorrier for me because I’ve been dealing with “Tebowmania” for 8 years already. Since he was in HS which is just down the street.

    So if everyone could please send me an internet hug I’d appreciate it.

    Thanks

    • http://freethoughtblogs.com/wwjtd JT Eberhard

      *hug*

      Holy crap…that sucks. *big huge enormous hug*

    • sunnydale75

      We could pray for you really really hard. Odin still hears our prayers even if he rarely answers them.

      Tony

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1583067300 alisonmeyer

    I don’t pay attention to sports for the most part, and when they come to my attention, it’s usually a bad thing – like this, or like the Eagles fans waxing rhapsodic over Michael Vick. I have to attend our High School’s football games (I’m a Band Mom) and never get the whole overt display of prayer by players.

    Daughter and I were talking about this this morning, and came up with the idea that what if there were a god, omnibenevolent, omnipresent, and omniscient, but. . .he had ADD? All these people are praying soooo hard for their team to win that it gets his attention, and next thing he knows, he’s watching it himself. Before the end of the third quarter, there have been five major disasters, and millions of people have died from preventable causes! Maybe people would think twice before they pray for stupid things?

  • stubby

    Ugh that insufferable douche won again. It was amazing when Tebow made that 59 yard field goal. And how about when he caused Barber to fumble the ball and then made another 50+ yard field goal to win in overtime. God must really love that guy! Or, maybe he just hates Marion Barber? I don’t think i’ve ever seen an NFL team have a sustained level of luck like this. Maybe the Bears a few years ago.

  • Charles Sullivan

    It’s about time we get some NFL stuff back up in here. After all your wonderful and informative and tantalizing poly-sexual adventures (of which you shared none of the juicy bits, I might add), you seem to have lost your manly-man football edge, little sister. Not a criticism. Just an observation, girl.

    • http://freethoughtblogs.com/wwjtd JT Eberhard

      This comment is made of win.

      JT

  • fastlane

    I’m glad the Lions won this week without Suh. I’ve been a die hard Lions fan (which, for anyone that knows the history, is saying a lot), and I hate to see them embracing that ‘bad boy’ image. Why can’t they just show, play hard, and play fair? The worst part is that it almost makes me start cheering against them, and if they don’t do something to get Suh straightened out, then I’ll have to come back to them in a few years.

    The Packers are still undefeated! And more importantly, Rogers has already broken Favre’s single season TD pass record.

    Here’s an interesting question, everyone has their teams they cheer for, how many teams does your typical NFL fan have that they cheer against?

    For me, it’s:
    - Chiefs
    - Broncos
    - Saints
    - Buccaneers

    • tubi

      Cowboys – I grew up in Washington DC
      Giants – I went to school near Philadelphia
      Packers – I live in Minnesota
      Colts – Fuck Bob Irsay

      Of all of these, Packer fans are the most insufferable. It’s as though they personally have nothing of value in their lives so when the team wins they act as though they themselves had something to do with it. As if a Packer win brings meaning to their own existences. It’s sad, really.

  • dizzlski

    Admittedly, I have only seen the last two Bronco games. And I’m a fan of defence. Tebow didn’t win the last two games. Yesterday he had one complete run, resulting in a touchdown, one touchdown. He did not win the game, he was pretty much useless for 3/4′s of the game. He is not a phenomenon, he is not lucky, he has an awesome defence which has led the drive for weeks. He can’t win a game by himself, he can’t throw three passes in a row to win a game. He is a joke, and every sport commentator worth their credibility should not talk about him winning games or being a miracle. There are commentators actually talking about this bs run being just as good as the Green Bay run. They attempt to qualify it by reminding us that NE lost a few years back.

  • stubby

    I cheer against…

    1) Packers – Born and raised in Minnesota so the hate comes easy.
    2) Bears – Not as bad as the Packers, but they still suck donkey balls.
    3) Broncos – I grew up loving the Raiders so I have always hated the Broncos.
    4) Packers – Too much hate for one spot on the list.
    5) Lions – I’m adding the Lions because of their dirty play recently. And because now they are good enough to merit some hate.


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