Maybe I'm Not Entirely Straight…

Don’t tell the Trophy (Primary) Girlfriend™, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with a man.

The story: Tim Minchin wrote and performed a song about Jesus for the Jonathan Ross Show comparing Jesus to Woody Allen.  How could that be taken as anything but flattering?  Woody Allen is awesome!

Everybody loved it (including Jonathan Ross)…except for the director of television for the network, Peter Finch, who demanded the song be cut from the show.  Oh, these censorious folk, when will they ever learn that it doesn’t work?

Tim Minchin wrote out his feelings.  Good Woody Allen Jesus, the man is eloquent and spot on! (bold mine)

I really like Jonathan Ross. I think he’s a funny, interesting, kind person, and an excellent interviewer. I also really like his wife… But let’s not get back into that.

Jonathan and his wonderful producer, Suzi, have been incredibly supportive of me and so when they asked me to write a song for their pre-Christmas show, I didn’t hesitate. It was the worst possible time to be writing a new song – I’ve been overworked and ill, was on tour, and was really feeling the stress. But I wasn’t going to say no… it’s Jonathan Ross! And my fellow guests were to be Tom Cruise, the divine actors from Downton Abbey, and the ace Inbetweeners boys.

So I got to writing. Being Christmas, I thought it would be fun to do a song about Jesus, but being TV, I knew it would have to be gentle. The idea was to compare him to Woody Allen (short, Jewish, philosophical, a bit hesitant), and expand into redefining his other alleged attributes using modern, popular-culture terminology.

It’s not a particularly original idea, I admit, but it’s quite cute. It’s certainly not very contentious, but even so, compliance people and producers and lawyers all checked my lyrics long before the cameras rolled. As always with these bespoke writing jobs, I was really stressed for about 3 days, and almost chucked it in the bin 5 times, and freaked out that it wasn’t funny and all that boring shit that people like me go through when we’re lucky enough to have with a big audience with high expectations. And if I’m honest, it ain’t a world-changing bit of comedy. Regardless…

On Tuesday night last week, we taped the show. I met Tom (he’s nice and quite laid-back off camera, and not very short) and the divine Downton ladies (swoon) and the lovely Inbetweeners chaps (yay) and I did my song and everyone laughed and Tom said it was great and when it was done I ran off set onto the back of a waiting motorbike, got from South Bank to the Hammersmith Apollo in 13 minutes, walked into the building, straight on to stage to sing White Wine in the Sun with Professor Brian Cox. Rock n roll.

Subsequently, Suzi and her team edited the show and everybody was happy. Suzi felt it had a nice balance of big-ticket celeb action, local talent, and a nice bit of that cheeky, iconoclastic spirit for which Jonathan is known and widely loved.

And then someone got nervous and sent the tape to ITV’s director of television, Peter Fincham.

And Peter Fincham demanded that I be cut from the show.

He did this because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.

Yesterday I wrote a big rant about comedy and risk and conservatism; about the fact that my joke has no victim; about sacredness (oh God, not again!) and about the importance of laughing at dumb but pervasive ideas. But I trashed it because it’s boring and takes it all too seriously. It’s hardly the end of the world.

But I have to admit I’m really fucking disappointed.

It’s 2011. The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.

And anger when they’re being bigots.

Oh, and satire. There’s always satire.

Anywaaaaaaaaaay… the fun news is that I already had the footage of the song when they cut it. Yay. And so you can decide for yourself how offensive it is! Yippee.

Oh, and although I can’t think why anyone would have a problem with me posting this (Peter has covered his arse, the protection of which he is rather nervous about) but I suppose you lovely tech-geeks might want to grab a copy or mirror it, just in case I get asked to take it down.

I hope you enjoy my silly, harmless, accurate song of praise, “Woody Allen Jesus”.

And I hope you all have wonderful Christmases.

Fuck. Yes.  I love this man.

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Tim Minchin…satire and mockery of silly ideas combined with facts and eloquence has a tremendous amount of power!  It forces the person holding the silly belief to either defend it (which they can’t), to accept that their belief is inherently mockable, or to whine and insist that their ideas should get some manner of obligatory respect.  If we don’t allow them that last one, that only leaves a couple pretty swell options.

Spread this video far and wide.  Give Peter Finch a taste of the Streisand effect.

Via The Friendly Atheist.

  • Cubist

    I think atheists all over the world owe Peter Finch a debt of gratitude. Had Finch not chosen to suppress the song, it would have appeared on the Jonathan Ross show; only been seen by JR’s audience, presumably made up entirely of Australians; and finally disappeared by the next turning of the news/entertainment cycle. But because of Finch, [i]everybody,[/i] Aussie or no, has heard the song and is talking about it. With censors like Finch, who needs publicists?
    The man’s doing our work. We should thank him.

    • Grikmeer

      Jonathan Ross is British, the show goes out to Brits (and is one of the most popular shows in our country) Plus most of the song Tim does on his show end up on YouTube. But you are right, the potential audience would be much smaller.

  • Grikmeer

    Part of the reason for this is that ITV is Britain’s only major commercial TV Network (apart from Sky TV – Murdochland) and are much more vulnerable than the wonderful BBC to swipes from The Daily Mail/Express/Telegraph (‘news’papers which are almost our equivalent of Fox News)

    Saying that, even the Beeb can be hit when the right wing press decides to attack it. The whole reason Jonathan Ross is on ITV now instead of the BBC is that he joined in a bad taste joke with Russell Brand on the radio, about which there were only a couple of complaints until the Daily Mail launched a campaign about it a week later.

  • Art Vandelay

    I met Minchin after his concert in Providence a couple of months ago. He’s as awesome in real life as he comes off at his shows. I didn’t really love this Woody Allen song but he did a new song at his show called Sam’s Mum which I’m still waiting to be released but I guess he waits until his tour is over so he still has some new material for people at his shows. It’s basically an indictment of prayer but done in the most sarcastic way imaginable. It was like the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.

  • TV200

    I got to see him here in Washington, D.C. back in July. I think I have a tad bit of a crush too. Well, maybe that has something to do with this as well.

    That song has been stuck in my head for 30 years.

  • kaorunegisa

    You tease, sir…

    Seriously, this song was kinda amazing. I spread it around my friends before Friendmas and it just kept getting reposted. I haven’t yet run across a single person who didn’t like it. Meaning that Christians are likely still hiding from the Big Bad Interwebs, waiting for their magic baby to take them away before they have any naughty thoughts.

  • DrB

    Second time today I’ve read something you’re up to, and said “I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR YEARS!”

  • jacobfromlost

    Good grief. I favorited this a a couple days before Christmas. It had 5000 views.

    I come back to the internet two days after Christmas, and find it has north of 500,000 views.

    Stuff like this should get censored off of tv more often so it can reach a far larger audience far more quickly.

  • Jake

    JT, you really are a fucking idiot.

    Hey, can’t we find someone stable to represent atheists?

    • JT Eberhard

      Can you not see that every person who assaults my illness rather than my arguments solidifies the need for the skeptic movement to take on mental illness and remove that stigma?

      If you’d like me to fail as somebody influencing this movement, you’re going about it in a very counterproductive manner.

      • alisonmeyer

        Better to have leaders who are honest about their flaws than the fellows on the other side, IMHO.

    • Art Vandelay

      Yeah, maybe we can find someone who thinks a cracker is actually the flesh of a 2000 year old Palestinian carpenter.

      (Just not buying that Jake is an atheist)

    • Tony

      Did I miss the memo that said atheists had someone representing us? If someone has access to it, please resend. Oh, but before you do, send me a copy of the ballot so I can actually vote on someone first.

      Oh, and JT, you’re really not a fucking idiot.

  • Michaelyn

    Hiding things from the girlfriend, huh? Maybe you should look into polyamory. I have some great books you can borrow sometime ;)

  • Christina

    …Sorry JT. I just had to tell her. Us ladies can’t keep secrets from each other.