Best Of #jtmeme

So, the other day I posted some praise from high school activist Damon Fowler.  In the comments Rory said…

Maybe we need a JT meme akin to the Chuck Norris facts. “JT punched Jesus and killed God” isn’t a bad start.

Cheerfullu submitted:

JT punched Jesus once, and it took him a whole month to rise again.

Jesus hasn’t had a second coming yet because he knows JT is waiting for him.

Well this went and exploded onto twitter in the form of a #jtmeme hash tag.  There were a gajillion of them.  Thanks everybody so much.  I laughed all day and was very flattered.

Here are some of the funnier ones.

@Rlrader: God was made with an @jteberhard hole in his heart. #jtmeme

@tynk_: @jteberhard convinced #god that it does not exist and Schrodinger’s cat that it does. #jtmeme

Rory: Jesus didn’t carry a cross because the Romans told him to. Jesus carried a cross because JT told him to get that shit out of the public square.

@drew_whalen: When life gives @jteberhard lemons, he crushes them in his mighty fist. Behold, they are now lemon diamonds. #jtmeme

@marelacrim: Jesus promised an eternal life. Allah promised 72 virgins. @jteberhard promised to kill all the zombies. Do you see any zombies? #jtmeme

@LP__: Once @jteberhard created an online poll with the question: “Will this poll get pharyngulated?”. @pzmyers is still thinking about it. #jtmeme

@markdemonbreun: Jack Bauer tells JT who he’s working for. #jtmeme

@khoops66: He once had his leg waxed and head shaved just to prove a point. #jtmeme @jteberhard

@uberpest: Muhammed is afraid to draw pictures of @jteberhard #JTmeme

@VeritasKnight: A tornado going through a scrapheap can’t assemble a 747 but @jteberhard can! #jtmeme

@nataliereed84: Blaise Pascal lost his shirt wagering against @jteberhard #jtmeme

@leftinnebraska: A street was named after @jteberhard but had to be changed when it was discovered that no one crossed @jteberhard St. and lived #jtmeme

@Crommunist: @jteberhard can drink the table under the table. #jtmeme

@Victoriaed90: @jteberhard Jesus rose from the dead on the 3rd day but JT prevented the zombie apocalypse on the 4th. #JTmeme

@jubydoo: #jtmeme needed to be kicked up a notch. http://t.co/G0FeLGZg @jteberhard

@Mark_Bell: Chuck Norris wears @jteberhard pajamas, and @jteberhard wears @jessicaahlquist pajamas #jtmeme

@Damon_K_Fowler: @jteberhard once debated a theist so hard, they dropped down a step on the evolutionary ladder. #jtmeme

@uberpest: When Smokey says, “only you can prevent wildfires,” the “you” is @jteberhard #JTmeme

This one produced a response from Smokey himself: @smokey_bear: It’s all of us. RT @jteberhard: RT @uberpest: When Smokey says, “only you can prevent wildfires,” the “you” is @jteberhard #JTmeme

@everydayatheist: God split into three persons in hopes it would be a fair fight with @jteberhard. #jtmeme

@Ziztur: @jteberhard hands Christians their asses so much that half of all churches are standing room only. #hardtositwithassinhands #jtmeme

@morphomel: @jteberhard turns water into jack daniel’s for @epicmealtime #jtmeme

@daylightatheism: @jteberhard makes the baby Jesus cry. Always. #jtmeme

@uberpest: @jteberhard gives Red Bull wings. #JTmeme

@jteberhard: They tried to make a @jteberhard brand toilet paper, but went out of business because it wouldn’t take shit off anybody. :P #jtmeme

@Crommunist: if Schroediner put JT in a sealed box , Schroedinger would be the one whose life is in a state of quantum uncertainty #jtmeme

@jteberhard: Quantum JT walks into the Thunderdome. Two JTs walk out. #jtmeme

@pzmyers: And yet, JT still wishes he were as cool as PZ. @jteberhard #jtmeme

@reunionking: Meat Loaf would do anything for @jteberhard. Even that thing he wouldn’t do for love. #jtmeme

@wantrocketfist: @jteberhard ‘s Domo hat is worn for the sole purpose of giving theocrats something to look at that scares them less.#jtmeme

@RhubarbTheBear: @jteberhard carb-loads with the FSM before each workout. #jtmeme

@HighDudgeonAZ: Under the withering stare of @jteberhard, prayer banners in public schools change to “I’m Sorry” before spontaneously combusting. #jtmeme

@SpaceGhoti: @jteberhard is the First Cause. #jtmeme

@aPandaStudio: .@jteberhard IS the Dragonborn. #JTmeme

@YimYinger: .@jteberhard turned the wine back into water. #jtmeme

@SpiderJerome: .@jteberhard once rebutted a fundamentalist so hard that they reexamined their cherished beliefs #jtmeme

A while back somebody tried to do something similar.  Here are some of my favs from that attempt.

  • Parse

    The only reason they nailed Jesus to a cross is that they couldn’t figure out how to hang him on the ‘J’.

  • Mare Lacrimarum

    I have to admit, that was a lot of fun. :P

  • Pteryxx

    @JT rides TWO baby triceratops statues. *nodnod*

  • http://freethoughtblogs.com/lousycanuck/ Jason Thibeault

    The JT in @jteberhard actually stands for Jason Thibeault. #jtmeme

  • neatospiderplant

    “@HighDudgeonAZ: Under the withering stare of @jteberhard, prayer banners in public schools change to “I’m Sorry” before spontaneously combusting. #jtmeme”

    What? That’s all Jessica Alquist had to do is get JT to stare witheringly at it? Don’t tell her that!

  • RhubarbTheBear

    It’s the gift that keeps giving. I’ll be thinking about new JT memes for months.

  • Art Vandelay

    The Grim Reaper goes to karaoke bars and sings “Don’t Fear the JT Eberhard.”

    That might not even work. I suck at this.

  • skepticallydenpa

    @jteberhard is the reason gods don’t exist #jtmeme

  • Mr.Kosta

    Christians pray to God. God prays to JT.

  • http://freethoughtblogs.com/wwjtd JT Eberhard

    There’s no evidence for god because god’s afraid I’d find him. :P

  • https://twitter.com/#!/Erulora Erulóra Maikalambe

    @VeritasKnight: A tornado going through a scrapheap can’t assemble a 747 but @jteberhard can! #jtmeme

    JT going through a 747 creates a scrapheap. And a tornado.