Calling out the Digital Cuttlefish

Cuttlefish poet
I’m at the edge of the sea
Come up and face me

Hark! I challenge you
To epic haiku battle
For internet pride

I’m a haiku beast
A leviathon to your
Rhyming briney shrimp

Opposable thumbs
Good for grasping victory
From cuddly molluscs

You’re tiny and cute
Believers flee when I’m near
I’m ready for you

PERSONAL: The corrupting power of fame and my love for my commenters.
You guys are wonderful.
Update and pics from #AACon15. MST3K cast members were at my talk.
PERSONAL: Sorry to disappoint you, Julian.
About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • neatospiderplant

    “To an epic haiku battle”? (I count 8)
    “I’m a beast of haiku” (I count 6)

    • JT Eberhard

      Ok, not saying I suck at haiku or that I wrote this post at early thirty this morning…

      • neatospiderplant

        Mistakes don’t count if they are before coffee.

  • Rich Stage

    JT, you should know by now
    that limericks are the cash cow.
    Haiku can be fine
    if you cannot rhyme
    but lim’ricks are a sacred vow.

    • Robert B.

      I see you’ve attempted a limerick.
      But rhyming, my friend, is a cheap trick.
      To make your verse leeter,
      Remember the meter:
      Three three two two three amphibrachic.

      • Rich Stage

        I think it’s cute that you are trying to tell me how to write limericks.

        • Robert B.

          Wow, suddenly-passive-aggressive-dude, it was a joke. But if you really don’t want unsolicited advice, don’t make public posts of poems that scan like a handful of gravel in a blender.

  • skemono

    Do leviathans even have opposable thumbs?

  • Greg Laden

    A leviathan of land?
    An improper reference.
    Metaphor ruined

  • Cuttlefish

    Haiku in English is like asking Physioproffe to substitute velveeta for his real cheese…

  • Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort

    I can write haiku
    It is quite easy to do
    Just follow the rules

    Five syllables here
    And seven when you are here
    And once again five

    The problem you see
    Is coming up with a theme
    With verses of three

    Also at the end
    It doesn’t feel yet done
    And stopping is hard

    I could go all day
    But I won’t.

  • rikitiki

    The problem with any haiku
    Is it’s not in the language that’s true
    Yes, so says the cuttle
    JT wants to buttle
    ‘Til rhyme-schemes end up all askew