When I write about polyamory, the most frequent response I receive is to tell me that the jealousy would be too much.
For me, obviously, that’s not a problem. Sure, I get the occasional jealous impulse, but it’s easy to ignore. Nobody mentions whether or not guilt would be a problem though, which has been the most difficult part on my end.
When I’m with Christina, I worry that Michaelyn will be jealous or that she’ll miss me. Likewise, I worry that Christina will get jealous that I miss Michaelyn so much and see her more often (what with her being my primary). This is undoubtedly due to growing up in a world where jealousy is given power and even treated as a wholesome part of a relationship.
That worry steals enjoyment from the time I get with both of them.
The lousy thing about it, aside from the happiness lost, is that neither is jealous (at least no more than I am). It’s just hard to make myself expect them to not be jealous. It’s also hard to know that by feeling this guilt I know I’m not taking two very honest women at their word (and their actions).
Any of you other poly folks have the same issue?