Alternative medicine and prayer

I realized the last time it rained that I needed to clean out some of my gutters.

Powertools > by hand. Always.

Powertools > by hand. Always.

So, I got around to doing it yesterday. And when you’re on your roof, and live by yourself, and it’s windy, and you’ve decided to use powertools instead of your hands, cause doing things manually sucks balls, you give some thought to the obvious: Why do I give a crap about if my gutters are clean? I’m the only one that lives here?

But then I gave a bit of thought to: so what happens when, like the idiot I am, I fall off this roof?

I held out hope that maybe, one of my neighbors would see me, and check on me. For a bit of background, I’m reasonably sure my neighbors have no idea that the colors I fly in front of my house are those of The One True God(TM).  They’re more likely in the church going folk category, who likely even believe in the power of prayer.

SO while standing up on the roof, giggling like a child at my deity like powers of blowing leaves around, I realized that there was a time and place for “alternative” medicine & prayer. Yes, skeptical as I am towards the healing powers of “bullshit,” I saw the proper time where it could be used.

This book is actually just blank pages.


It’s right after an ambulance has been called, and when somebody competent is administering proper first aid. This narrow window before the ambulance arrives, this is the time for “alternative” medicine and prayer.

If bystanders then want to stand off to the side, well out of the way, and wave a dead chicken during telepathic contact to an invisible sky tyrant while turning on the hose for some homeopathic remedy, that’s their moment. I want those who think superstition benefits anyone to have their moment….and then get the fuck out of the way when the EMT’s who practice things that actually help arrive.


Also, speaking of things that actually help, as of “right now”  Team Atheism is ranked 6064 of 210468 Folding@Home teams! We move up a few ranks almost each day, thanks to you guys!



You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger

I recruit in Kansas City,

About doctorburger
  • alisonmeyer

    Don’t know if you were a follower of atheist in a minivan back when she was still blogging, but she told a story of running over to a neighbor’s house and reviving a neighbor’s daughter from a near-drowning while the neighbor prayed over the kid. Afterwards, he thanked god for sending her over. *facepalm*

  • Mark

    I’d rather the neighboursaddminister first aid than pray.

  • K Tims

    I respectfully call BS sir. What about holistic medicine that makes the condition worse before experts come?

  • Art

    You meant it rhetorically but, just to get it on record; you clean the gutters to keep the water from backing up under the shingles, rotting the roof and leaking into the walls where it promotes mold.

    A friend recently had his roof re-shingled and had them lag stainless steel pad eyes onto the truss at the ridge. He has one about every ten feet along the ridge. Now he has something to hook onto so wearing a harness makes sense.

    He came up with this plan after he fell off the roof and narrowly avoided serious injury.

    Science based medicine beats alternative medicine hands down. But avoiding an injury, staying healthy, beats anything medical science can do for you after the fact. Let’s be careful out there.

  • Carax

    Granted most alternative medicine is worthless but alternative medicine also means simply eating right, staying away from Monsanto food products and coca cola etc, so you seem to have no idea of what you’re talking about.

    • Matt Penfold

      No, that is not what alternative medicine is. Why say something so obviously wrong ?

  • steveg3

    Alternatively just don’t fall off the roof. You know we all have a responsibility for our own safety.

    Anyway – obviously you didn’t.

    Joined the fold!

  • James

    For all the problems with alternative medicine, lets not forget that Medical Malpractice, by the AMA’s own statistics, kills over 100,000 people a year.

    This does not count Pharmaceutical errors, diseases picked up in hospitals, etc.

    Or flawed, if not outright faked, drug studies.

    Or doctors who don’t just give a damn.


  • Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort

    You give a crap about your gutters being clean cause otherwise you’re going to have backups, floods, and water POURING INTO YOUR HOUSE!

    It happened to my parents’ house, a flood from a major rainstorm backed out of the gutters and into the little bit between the outside wall and the inside. Mold, water damage, and rust all inside that wall. Had to get it torn out and replaced.

    And then their shower above that wall flooded.

    Yea… that wall’s never had a good day.