Atheists and Sunday mornings

This morning I sent my father a section from a blog I’m writing of which I was particularly proud.  He wrote back…

Nice to see you with your nose to the blog grindstone so bright and early on a Sunday morning. Kind of makes me sad, though, that when someone says they will get eternal life you can no longer say that you get to sleep in on Sunday mornings instead!

I responded…

That’s ok.  Premarital sex is good enough for me.

Being an atheist rules!  And besides, once everybody realizes that god doesn’t exist and that wasting time listening preachers is less fun than going to the zoo, I’ll be able to sleep in on Sunday mornings too.

Remember: it’s only premarital if you intend to get married.  :P


About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Aoife

    That’s why I prefer ‘extramarital’. Not only is it unmarried, but it’s got ‘extra!’ in the name.

  • Anne H.

    I wish I could just get up when I want and be productive.. but accidentally sleeping in and therefore not being ready for church is my main defense at the moment! They are forcing me to laziness!

  • Greg Laden

    Is church usually on Sundays? Huh. That would explain certain traffic patterns I’ve noticed.

  • Mr.Kosta

    I don’t sleep on Sunday mornings. I pay homage to Morpheus.

  • Morrison

    Isn’t JT cute? Any girl would be unlucking to get stuck with him. LOL!

    • JT Eberhard

      ^^ Believes in Jesus, yet behaves this way.

      Christianity is either the cause of this behavior or it does not make people better.

      Either way, people like Morrison undermine its claim to the moral high ground.

      • John Eberhard

        Oh, come on. Are you saying there is something un-Christ-like about dropping in and dumping a gratuitous insult on someone and taking such smug glee and pride in doing it? Boy, no wonder your girlfriend is unlucking.

        I’ll bet you even think you have the ability to make one sentence comments without making up a word like “unlucking”, and that is the truthiness of it, you pooh-pooh head!

        • Morrison

          Nothing gratuitous here, JT. A girl who takes up with you is losing her luck…unlucking…since you have no real job and you are just a flash in the pan.

          And of course you have all kinds of problems.

          Simple statements of facts; I am helping you by point it out. Nothing personal.

          • Katie Tims

            I’m helping by warning you that you picked the wroooong battle, and that you sound like a whiny five year old.

            Also: Jobs are a source of income, which JT has along with some free travel. That matches my definition of a job, just like tutoring and writing articles. Maybe not the definition of career (though I would argue with you on that point as well if you’re up to a friendly debate :) ). How does he not have a job again?

          • TCC

            Ha, this comment is almost hilariously stupid. “Unlucking”? Really? Do you regularly make up nonsense words, Humpty Dumpty?

            But seriously, how old are you? I’m a high school teacher, and I expect comments like that from students in the younger grades I teach (although I still don’t condone them), but I tend to assume that commenters are at least in their twenties (or older), so I just have to ask the question.

      • Anne H.

        I only wish I was so unlucking.

        • Morrison

          You sound like you already are! LOL!

          • Aquaria

            While a moronic douchebag like you definitely is.

            Fuck off, you idiotic sack of shit.

    • Michaelyn

      In my defense, I think I’m one of the luckiest girls to be in the happy, loving relationship that I am with JT.

      • JT Eberhard

        I’m very lucky to have Michaelyn. She makes me happy. :)

    • Aoife

      Fortunately JT is the kind of perfectly ethical guy who a girl woman wouldn’t actually be somehow obligated to be ‘stuck’ to. It seems like women actually hang out with him without any superglue required!

    • IslandBrewer

      Can Morrison or anyone explain why it makes a woman “lucky” to have a man stay with her due to obligations based on bronze age myths? Michaelyn appears to be with JT because she has come to the conclusion that he’s awesome (as JT has with her). Would she be luckier if he was with her because he was magically superglued to her by threats of eternal torture and living with people like Morrison for eternity?

  • WilloNyx

    Comments even funnier than the post. Love it.

    It is funny how sleeping in on Sundays seems to be the only positive benefit to rejecting the notion of god(s). I would feel bad for those atheists that work on sunday mornings ‘cept that I know there are a plethora of benefits to accepting reality as it is.

    Sleeping in on Sundays doesn’t even scratch the surface of the joy in my life that started when I gave up god.

    • Katie Tims

      Did you get blasphemy cookies too?!?

      • billygutter01

        Ooooh! And bacon? Please tell me there’s bacon!

        • WilloNyx

          Blasphemy cookies in the from of maple iced sugar cookies with bacon sprinkles. (Not totally sure they would be yummy but I would definitely try them)

    • Aquaria

      Hey, being an atheist meant that I was glad to be at work, earning 25% extra just for showing up on Sunday because the christards didn’t want to be there and the USPS were desperate for people to work that day.

      The mail never sleeps.

    • IslandBrewer

      How DARE you insult the sanctity of the sleeping in!

  • Adam

    Even when I was a Christian, I slept in on Sundays. The church I went to only had service Sunday evening. Casual dress too.