And so the nation crumbles

Three and a half years after taking office President Obama uttered a small collection of words long overdue.  He supports marriage equality.  Just in the nick of not soon enough.

I think this was done because, at long last, marriage equality has reached a point where it makes good political sense to endorse it.  Part of me is happy that the social rubric has evolved that far.  The other half of me would rather have a president who stands on proper principle than doing the right thing only once it’s been calculated to pay political dividends.

All the same, better late than never.  w00t!

So what now?  Well, Newt will undoubtedly dissolve his third straight marriage, not because he has his eye on someone else (again), but because now marriage is no longer special.  It’ll be like having an open marriage, just without the marriage.

I’ll also have to break up with Michaelyn. It’s ok, she’ll undoubtedly find some woman to shack up with before I can even break the news.  Besides, now that the president supports gays, I’m sudddenly far more attracted to Ian Cromwell and…ducks.  Who knew the legal maintenance of a state of inequality was keeping me from fucking anything that moves with no regard for love or loyalty?  Maybe I can move to North Carolina, where hate and bigotry keep love intact.

But the real boon?  We get to watch the hateful people professing to follow a god of love absolutely lose their shit at the idea that gays could one day have the same rights as them.

Enter Faux News.

Oh no, no, no.  That was was declared by the Republicans well over a decade ago.  The president, and the majority of Americans, have simply declared that we will fight it in the hopes that it will finally be resolved on the side of justice and equality – much to the chagrin of Jesus and the people too piss drunk on Christ to give a damn about human happiness.

FOX apparently heard the din of a whole nation laughing their asses off and decided to change their headline. It now reads…

Too bad some of us got screen caps.  Tee hee hee!

And even modified, it’s a huge crock.  Campaigning for a seat in the senate in 1996, Obama said

I favor legalizing same-sex marriages, and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages

I’m not the guy’s biggest fan, but that’s just plain bullshit.  By making his statement today, he did finally begin to make good on that promise and moved light years beyond the inaction we’ve been getting from him, but that’s a whole other story.

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.