Don't ask, don't tell and integrity

My dad’s facebook status last night.

How come we don’t hear anything any more about doing away with Don’t Ask Don’t Tell? Wasn’t that supposed to signal the end of democracy? Weren’t our soldiers supposed to quit in droves to the point where we could no longer defend our country? Wasn’t the end of DADT supposed to be the end of military cohesion? Wasn’t this the beginning of plummeting military recruitment? Weren’t there insurmountable reasons for this discrimination to go on forever?

Wasn’t ending DADT the biggest non-event you’ve never heard about since as soon as it was passed?

Where are all of the homophobes and fear mongers who whined about it now? Where is the bombast?
Where are the “I told you so’s”?
Did anybody hear just one single one of them have the integrity to admit they were wrong? Just one?

Gee…what a surprise.


And when LGBT people can marry and not a damn thing changes, just like a damn thing hasn’t changed elsewhere when LGBT people have been allowed to marry, it will be the same.  No apologies.  No remorse for misery in the wake of legally enforced bigotry.

And certainly no admissions that even with the ear of god they were wrong the entire time.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • KirikaSena

    Damn, your dad seems badass. Mine doesn’t even know that I’m bi or that I’m an atheist. So jelly.

  • Brownian

    Where are all of the homophobes and fear mongers who whined about it now?

    [Crossing his fingers and chanting] Please let the answer be they got raptured and we don’t have to deal with them ever again, please let the answer be they got raptured…

    • Kaoru Negisa

      There was an amazing video that came out right after one of the big “End of the World” predictions passed. It was a parody of a news story that described how without all the religious fanatics, who were raptured, the world has become a much better place. Gas prices go down (due to fewer people and less demand), we start to address global warming, ignorance-only sex education is eliminated, etc. *sigh* Almost makes me wish they were right…

      Side note: there’s no link because I can’t find the video again. I think Jen at Blag Hag posted it originally, but I can’t find it in the archives. If anyone knows this video, please post a link so I can put it with my Favorites where it belongs.

      • Jasper T

        This one?

        It’s on my favorites list.

        • Kaoru Negisa

          You, sir, are my hero today. I shall name my first male heir after you!

          …or I’ll play a character in an immersion larp this weekend who’s last name is coincidentally your first name. Either one. Probably the latter. Definitely the latter.

          Either way, thank you. %)

  • eileencano

    Your dad is awesome. On a parallel note, I was pleasantly surprised to hear my very Catholic mother say the other day “I don’t understand why they don’t let gays get married. It’s just stupid. It’s just like the way they treated blacks when I was a kid. All those ‘colored’ water fountains and bathrooms. They’ll eventually let gays get married, just like they let blacks have civil rights too.”

    If my mom can overcome this, with her upbringing, then these others must be just hatemongers.

    Anyhow, fantastic comments. Thank you.

    • Kaoru Negisa

      Since there is no “like” button on FtB, just let me say that this is awesome. My mom was a devout Catholic who left the church several months ago after I came out as bi to her. She didn’t want to be part of an organization that doesn’t accept her son. Your mom sounds like an amazing and insightful woman, and it’s wonderful that she’s so open minded.

  • Kaoru Negisa

    You won’t hear remorse because they don’t feel remorse. The people most opposed to LGBT rights today, with a few exceptions, will be just as opposed to LGBT rights until the day they die. Moreover, as younger people or people on the fence make it so that those outdated attitudes are unacceptable, the bigots will grumble to themselves about their rights, wallow in their persecution complexes, some will become even more radical as a result.

    Look at the evolution of the guy who briefly became the new Hatemonger in the Black Panther issues during Marvel’s Fear Itself run. He turned from disgruntled halfwit into lynch mob leader by degrees, blaming every personal problem he had on racial minorities and letting that grow. Similarly, the tradeoff of the American Panther costume at the end of the last issue seems to imply the same evolution in the hidden new antagonist. I know, it’s literature (comics are literature, damnit), but fictional characters are one of the best ways that we as humans can understand ourselves.

    The people who claimed DADT ending would signal the end of America are still waiting, anxiously, for that to happen. As far as they’re concerned, not enough time has elapsed, clearly it’s on the way, and then everyone else will see how right they were. They’re delusional, of course, but this is how their mind works, always waiting and fantasizing about the moment when they can finally be right about something and, for once in their lives, consider themselves objectively superior to other people.

  • iknklast

    They didn’t apologize when interracial marriage didn’t screw up society, why should they apologize about this? Oh, I forgot – they believe interracial marriage did screw up society. It seems so obvious that it led to the end of marriage – after all, when is the last time anyone you knew got married? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

    They won’t apologize because they’ll never realize they were wrong. They can invent more ways that society has been screwed up than their God could dream up in a millennium.

    • Leo

      They can invent more ways that society has been screwed up than their God could dream up in a millennium.

      Well, since their god doesn’t exist, and therefore can’t dream, all they need to do is invent one way. That shouldn’t be too hard. ;)

    • Gregory in Seattle

      <sarcasm>Well, the divorce rate did start to increase after Loving v. Virginia was handed down. Make of that what you will.</sarcasm>

  • Steve

    They’ll see that it’s too soon to tell. That the dire consequences will only show up years down the road. Same thing with same-sex marriage. It’s been 8 years in MA now, but they are still thinking that the sky will fall any day now.

    • Leo

      Good point. They have, after all, been patiently waiting for Jesus to return for near 2000 years now. Perhaps they can likewise patiently wait for gay marriage to destroy society?

      A&A – Actually, probably not. Future generations will have no reason to believe this, so the idea will eventually die off with the people who hold it. But for those who do hold such an idea, perhaps they can patiently wait until they reach the grave?

  • LeftSidePositive

    Not only will the homophobes never apologize, in a generation or two all the churches will be insisting THEY were the driving force behind the change! Aaaarrgh…

    • Kaoru Negisa

      Ed Brayton pointed that out in one of his posts talking about the Idiot Dinesh D’Souza, that when gay marriage is legal he or his intellectual descendants will point to Gene Robinson (I would add Welton Gaddy) and say how Christianity was clearly responsible for LGBT rights, as he points to Quakers and the like and claims that Christianity was the reason for the end of slavery, as well as the moderate minority supporting every social change movement this country has ever seen.

  • Trevor

    I can’t believe I’m the first to ask this, but please, JT what is your father’s full name so I can properly quote him in my next facebook status? :D

    Side note, I had never been to this blog before I wandered by from other FTBs yesterday. Saw the Diablo III stuff and now I’m a regular.

    •!/Erulora Erulóra Maikalambe

      JT’s dad is John Eberhard. He posts here sometimes.

  • Jasper T

    You see, once again, the Republicans have been switched with the Republicans from a Parallel Dimension™ where they never had those views. I think Edwina Rogers is one of these people.

    • Kaoru Negisa

      She’s the vanguard for an invasion of pro-gay, pro-Establishment-clause, pro-science Republicans, presumably riding unicorns out of Fantasyland together.

  • peicurmudgeon

    And, as had often been said, in 50 or 100 years the religous will claim they were responsib0le for establishing rights for gays. The exact thing we’ve seen with slavery and race related rights.

  • Emily

    Being a GLSEN student Ambassador for my school, this is probally one of the best posts I can see! Unfortunately, people hate admitting they were wrong, (especially Bible Lovers). There’s a reason i stopped attending my church because they all became way to hypocritical. Love your dad JT! :)

  • Hypatia’s Daughter

    #9 Jasper T
    Since that seems to be the only hope for conservatives to take back the Repub party from the right wing religio-fascists who have taken control of it, then please, let the more Repubs be switched.