I get mail

I get things in the mail.  Usually it’s a Christian pamphlet of some kind or a copy of The Case for Whatthefuckever by Lee Strobel.  One time received a book on how to tie people up.  This was convenient in that it was less boring and more informative than Fifty Shades of Grey and also because that’s what I plan to do to the next person who mails me one of Lee Strobel’s shitty books.

Yesterday I got my new all-time favorite though.

It was a box containing nine extra-large boxes of raisin bran crunch.  Nothing else.  No card.  No anthrax.  Just enough fiber to put me into a delicious coma.  The guitar neck was someone else’s.

I just…what?  Thanks whoever sent this.  :)

  • Zengaze

    Thats god, don’t you see JT? That’s the proof you’ve been seeking.

    Now I’m going to glue myself to the news and wait for the airdrops over Ethiopia. YaY god.

    On strobel, that guy is awful, absolutely awful, I once informed a pastor that his god was an immoral monster, and explained the reasons for such a conclusion, the pastor did the “mind of god cannot be understood” bs and we didn’t get very far a couple of weeks later he appeared with the latest and greatest strobel book “is god a moral monster” he hadn’t read it himself, but had been told it was the be all and end all in apologetics. And wow it was as if god was directly answering MY question! This god dude is mysterious, he even had strobes write a book just so I would love him. Anyone want some freewill?

    To conclude my overly long story, I couldn’t finish it, honestly I rarely have to admit that, I just couldn’t do it, it is fucking awful. It had me screaming at the pages, that’s how bad it is. Strobel’s version of apologetics is to just make shit up to suit his case (shouldn’t be surprising) but the shit he makes up is so off the fucking wall……… For example he insists that when the god guy orders the sacking of a place, it wasn’t a town it must have been a military encampment, and since it was a military encampment it wouldn’t have had any non combatants in it, therefore it wasn’t immoral. Fucking genius!!!!

  • http://www.atheist-faq.com Jasper of Maine

    We don’t know who sent the boxes of cereal, therefore God.

  • http://blackfingerssmithy.wordpress.com/ BaisBlackfingers

    Did you order an office chair?

  • Carol Eberhard

    Wait! It might be dangerous. Let someone else eat some first. :o)

  • http://kleinepfoten.wordpress.com Bear

    Holy shit I wish people sent me food!!!!!!

  • http://writtenaftermidnight.wordpress.com/ Jaime

    That’s awesome. I love Raisin Bran!

  • J*

    Random Bran. Interesting.

    In other news: nice hat! I rode TdC 4 times. I skipped it last year for my best friend’s wedding, and this year cause… uh, I forgot. heh…

  • http://boldquestions.wordpress.com Ubi Dubium

    Maybe there’s an evangelist trying to subliminally convert you by sending you this. See, there’s a sun on the box, and sun=son, right? And then he’s “raisin”? So obviously, if you eat all this cereal, you are magically going to convert to whatever brand of xianity he’s selling.

    Watch out, if the next present is a box of bananas, we’ll know for sure what he’s up to!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ben100 benblanchard

    Several cases of raisin bran CRUNCH! That stuff is amazing! Its about as close to proof of god as I would expect.

  • Robster

    It started as a single raisin and one wee bit of bran, take it to a magic catholic cleric add a quick blessing and presto! Breakfast!!!Better than eating jesus.

  • http://kashaar.tumblr.com Kashaar

    Heh… what a nice surprise? ;) Btw, at first glance I thought that was a picture of Hugh Jackman, not you. Could have fooled me!


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