Mamma says Ben Franklin Is The Devil!



So there is an issue coming up here for an election here locally, a Missouri state constitution amendment. This particular one is put on the ballot called the “Right To Pray” amendment, virtually guaranteeing it’s passage.

Most of it is what you would expect, declaring that everybody has the right to worship “Almighty God.” The fact this is useless, unnecessary, and redundant given the 1st amendment, didn’t come up in the meetings where they drafted this change I guess. Also that it leaves out polytheists doesn’t seem to bother anyone.

That’s not what the authors of the bill are going for; this is the section hidden way down at the bottom that’s relevant:


that students may express their beliefs about religion in written and oral assignments free from discrimination based on the religious content of their work; that no student shall be compelled to perform or participate in academic assignments or educational presentations that violate his or her religious beliefs


Obviously drafted with teaching Evolution in mind, enshrining a constitutional right to keep on the blinders of faith during all areas of education.

Don’t want your kid to learn sex ed?- Religious exemption!

Don’t want your kid to learn the earth is older than 6000 years? – Religious exemption!

Don’t want your kid to learn about other cultures and religions? – Religious exemption!


Got any others?

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  • Alverant

    Don’t worry too much. Once it’s used by non-christians to get away with things, they’ll change their minds quick.

    Gym Teacher: Climb that rope, Jimmy!
    Jimmy: It’s against my religion, asshole!
    GT: WHAT?!
    J: It’s against my religion to be nice to heathens, asshole!

  • WCLPeter


    In fact I can’t wait to see someone actually try that. Something along the lines of refusing to respect the authority of, or be taught by, any female teachers as outlined in the bible. Or refusing to do any math because the answer *might* come out to the mark of the beast.

    This is *seriously* going to bite them in the ass in ways they weren’t expecting. Of course, that’s assuming it doesn’t get tossed out in full when the eventual charter challenge comes – a law specifically designed to promote religion? Yeah, that’s constitutional. *sigh*

  • Trebuchet

    Can’t wait until a Muslim student tries to invoke this exemption.

    By the way, 1+1=10.

  • Roger

    Just imagine how much fun the Pastafarians can have if they serve spaghetti in the school cafeteria.

  • Mike de Fleuriot

    Easy solution I think, just explain to the kids at the beginning of the year, that while they do not have to do their homework because Jesus hates homework, they will not get penalised (might need to explain this term) for not doing the homework, ever.

    But it should also be pointed out to them, that if they want to get jobs after they leave school and have this type of education lack, then they will be a serious disadvantage. Especially if they want to go and work in foreign countries, like Canada and England.

    Make it a “We will pass your while in school, but the real world will not”. The kids will understand this real soon.

    • F

      hey do not have to do their homework because Jesus hates homework

      Jesus ate my homework.

  • Alverant

    #5 I have to disagree. Kids these days think only of NOW. When do they want their music? NOW. When do they want their game? NOW. And so on. Thinking about things twenty years in the future is beyond them. It’s beyond what most kids of any age can think. This is America, land where we think the scrappy softball team of incompetents and misfits can beat a team of well trained softball players just because they’re trying REALLY HARD and the coach gave a good speech before the game. We have parents demanding schools give out “thanks for participating” awards and raise hell if their little angel feels bad for getting the wrong answer.

    • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

      Kids these days

      Not this shit again.

  • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

    Economics comes to mind…

  • Drakk

    Please tell me you’re going to string these guys up, JT.

  • Janice in Toronto

    Wow. You ‘merkins are just so totally screwed.

    20 more years of this and you’ll join the 3rd world.

    Unless there’s a 4th one…

  • d cwilson

    Don’t want your kid to learn sex ed?- Religious exemption!

    Many states already recognize a religious exemption for this one, which explains the high teen pregnancy rates in the Babble Belt.

    My religion teaches that photographs capture people’s souls, so I deserve a religious exemption from any textbook that contains pictures.

    • Heather

      Sad, but true. Even the sex education for those who don’t claim religious exemption isn’t that great.

  • eric

    Were I a teacher, passage of this law would strongly tempt me to develop very tough tests without evolution, accompanied by lots of evolution-related bonus point questions. For 50 of the 100 points, diagram out the entire krebs cycle including molecular structure diagrams of all the molecules involved. For 50 bonus points, give the definition of “evolution” used in your textbook.