I am now a chef

Ordinarily I work all day doing atheist activism, then come home and do more atheist activism.  It’s fulfilling, but I’m trying to relax as much as I can right now so I’m trying something new: cooking.  With an oven.

This is quite a step for me.  I got As in chemistry, but have never been able to cook despite some sincere attempts at it.  The closest I generally get is microwaving some sweet tilapia, but that gets old after a while.  This time I will not fail.

Right now I have a couple of chicken breasts in the oven.  I plan to take it to the next level by melting some swiss cheese over them.  In the process of pre-heating the oven to 375, it struck me that “pre-heating” was kind of a ridiculous and superfluous term.  You heat the oven.  Pre-heating the oven would be the same as turning it off*.

Anyway, I tossed my chickens into the oven, that I heated, and immediately ran upstairs to tell Michaelyn what a lucky woman she is.  Imagine, I could make her chicken with melted swiss cheese for dinner anytime she wants.

“Sweetie, I’ve had a really rough day,” she would say.

“I’m sorry to hear that, babe.  How about I make you some nice chicken breast with melted swiss cheese in the oven?”

“My hero!” she’d exclaim.

Rinse and repeat every day for the rest of our lives.

I’m about to write her mother an email congratulating her on the fact that she can stop having ambitions for her daughter, because her daughter has reached the height of lifelong achievement: dating me.

It struck me because Michaelyn pointed it out and proceeded to make fun of me.


Shit was delicious. I just went from zero to chef in a matter of hours.

What should I make next?

Living with dignity.
For real though, happy Mother's Day, mom.
PERSONAL: Happy birthday, Hitch.
What made performing special for me - bringing the unreal to life.
About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.


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