Lebron James: savior of all humankind

The commentators for the Olympics crack me up.  HOLY SHIT IT’S OVERCAST IN LONDON!

Also, as much of a fan of basketball that I am, I can’t watch the USA play.  I don’t like Lebron James.  I think he’s self-absorbed and I think what he did to the Cavs was shittier than a litterbox.  But oh, the commentators can’t get enough of the guy.  The USA has 50 points?  Somehow Lebron has scored 52.  I can’t go thirty freaking seconds without being reminded of how strong Lebron is or how high he can jump.  The people commenting on Olympic basketball are in a perpetual state of crawling even further up Lebron James’ ass and it drives me nuts.

Yeah, the guy’s a great player, but you realize there are eleven other players on the team, right?

Seriously, I have to hear this crap when Lebron is on the bench and Kevin Durant is lighting up the opposition.  Durant will make a brilliant play and they’ll immediately start talking about what a good passer Lebron is.

I swear to FSM, he’s the Chuck Norris of the Olympics: other athletes don’t win, Lebron just allows them to not lose.  You know why we didn’t take gold in gymnastics?  Because Lebron was busy playing basketball and couldn’t be bothered to use his powers to warp time.  We don’t need an Olympic team, we just need one fucking Lebron James playing every sport.  I want to be just like the guy, so when I’m behind the wheel of my car I do it like Lebron: I drive through everybody.   Lebron for emperor of the world.

Fuck.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Lukasa

    This is why you should be watching women’s basketball. Also this.

  • Loqi

    To make things even worse, now that you’ve written a post about him, you’ve got ads featuring Lebron James on your site instead of those “send me $50 and I’ll pray for you!” prayer service ads. The prayer service ads always made me feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that they were wasting money advertising here, and now they’re gone.

  • kraut

    From the posting I gather Lebron James plays basketball. Thanks, this way I do not have to ask: who is he?

  • PatrickG

    LOL.

    Nothing more here.

  • Zme

    The answer is not to watch NBC’s coverage of the olympics but the BBC’s streaming. Not only can you catch the events live (with an opportunity to watch those you missed) but also: no adverts, no up-close-and-personal (“I was a paraplegic meth addict until I discovered dressage”), very little jingoism and NO BOB COSTAS.

    You’ll have to use a VPN that gives you an British I/P address…I use expat shield.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Olympics??? Based on what channel 9 is feeding us in Australia, I thought it was the women’s beach volleyball championships. Are they playing other sports as well?


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