Mental illness update

I’m not well.  I’ve gotten two hours of sleep in the last sixty-three and a half hours.  I’m very seriously considering checking myself into a hospital in the morning.  I don’t know if my insurance will cover it.

Sickness sucks.  Someone send the memo to god that he really fucked up on that one.

MENTAL ILLNESS & PERSONAL: Pictures of my brain.
MENTAL ILLNESS: I see affection as a competition.
MENTAL ILLNESS: BDSM or Neuroscience?
MENTAL ILLNESS: Today's session.
About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • MTV

    Wishing you all the best. Keep fighting. You’re going to win.

  • am

    If you are in that place, go to the ER and be just honest with them. They will not necessarily admit you – in my case, they had me stay until I felt safe, talked to a psych liaison and had a plan to go to outpatient/partial hospitalization therapy and psychiatry. Be safe and let us know if you need anything at all.

    • Blue Duck

      Good advice, am. JT I am so sorry to hear you are having such an awful time. I hope your family is nearby to give you whatever help you need at this time. Keep fighting!

  • Cunning Pam

    JT, hang in there! Check with your insurance about what they will and will not cover, and get what help you can from them. Most of all, know that there are lots of us out here rooting for you. *hugs!*

  • hjhornbeck

    Do what you gotta do, JT. You’ve got plenty of people watching your back and willing to help you through this.

  • Mriana

    Feel better soon and do what you feel you need to do to get better.

  • F

    Oh, best wishes and intarnet hugz.

    If this is something you regularly deal with as part of your illness, consider looking into sleep research. You may get into a study that can help you (for free, or maybe even with a small monetary benefit to you), and you’ll help others by providing data. And there are several permanent clinics/studies of which I am tangentially aware in Ohio.

  • Teleprompter

    This is my first time commenting, as I’ve been a long time lurker here. I just want to let you know that I’m pulling for you. We met briefly at the Reason Rally. I’m constantly inspired by your positive example and your writing. *more hugs*

  • neatospiderplant


  • IslandBrewer

    Crap, I wish I were out where you were so I could just, you know, “be there” for you. I’ll send you an internet hug: *hugs*, and I’ll bank yet another real hug for when I when (if I ever get to) meet you in person.

    I think I have three I owe you so far. My wife has some indeterminate number.

  • Loqi

    I’m actually in a similar situation. Haven’t slept in days, considering checking myself in. You have my sympathy :(

  • jonathanray

    Get help. You can always call up your doctor and tell them you need to see them today if you don’t feel comfortable with checking in to a hospital. And get a friend to keep you company and drive you there.

    I have strong tendency to insomnia but enforcing absolute darkness by blocking out the reflected street light with a layer of blanket on top of the blinds helps a lot. The point where it’s impossible to see anything even after waiting for eyes to adjust is the level of darkness I’m talking about. Fan noise, a full stomach, and reading a paper book in bed with minimal lighting instead of audio are also practically mandatory for me. Screens give off way too much light. With the combination of these factors and an occasional Benadryl I think I’ve conquered the problem. Benadryl has the same active ingredient as the first-line thing that doctors prescribed me for insomnia (diphenhydramine) but there’s a problem of developing tolerance so I save it for outlier situations like this one.

  • neXus

    Mental illness sucks, and stingy insurance is worse. Is there a ‘JT Mental Health and Cookies Fund’ that we can chip into?

    Either way, hugs!

    • skepchris

      I’d contribute to that. Don’t let financial anxiety compound whatever you’re going through, JT. Let us know if you need anything. Be well; we’re all rooting for you.

      • Rory

        Ditto. Small price to pay to help out a favorite blogger, particularly one doing so much for the secular cause.

  • Kaoru Negisa

    I wish I had something useful to say that wasn’t just a godless version of ” I’ll pray for you, ” but considering the situation, I hope it helps to know that you have a lot of people pulling for you. Me included. Besides, if you don’t get better, how will you give me that singing lesson you promised? There are a lot of people who want to stop suffering when I try to get a few notes out.

    Seriously, do what you need to to get better, and know we’re pulling for you and will help in any way a mostly anonymous army of well-meaning readers can.

  • Dana Hunter

    *hug* Brain problems suck. Let us know what you need – I’m on board with contributing funds. Here’s to healing! Love you!

  • yellowsubmarine

    If it’s gotten that bad, it’s time to seek help. Even if your insurance wont cover it, surely there are some clinics you could go to. If you don’t feel up to handling it, enlist friends. I tried waiting out my issue and it didn’t work very well.

  • JSC_ltd

    Get help, JT, whether you can afford it or not. You only have one life.

  • tigg13

    Don’t drive. Have someone take you. Be safe and get well.

  • Sunny Day

    Aren’t you seeing a Psych?

    Call a Dr.
    Minor Medical Clinic.
    Call an Ask a Nurse Line.

    There’s plenty of free medical advice available, check your local phone book.

  • didgen

    Take care, our society doesn’t support each other as it should.

  • franwelte

    JT, please go to the nearest teaching hospital, if your insurance won’t cover “just any” hospital. They will treat you. Even if it turned out that you would have to pay the bill for years after, your life is worth it! I am hoping that you’ve told roomies, friends, someone in close physical proximity who can help. If you have not, Columbus is not that far from Cincinnati. Let us know; we will help. Fran

  • Amarantha

    *hugs* if you want them. Do whatever you need to do. Also, I support the call for a tip jar.

  • Daniel Schealler

    Sympathy and concern are warring against anger and frustration about your country’s healthcare.

    Stingy insurance companies should not be a concern for you right now. It’s not fair> damnit!

    It’s close, but concern wins.

    Look after yourself JT. You’re the only JT the world has got.

  • Orri

    Dude, clearly you are not OK at the moment. Your brain is not being helpful. Set everything aside and get better. We will wait.

  • emptyknight

    I’ve been there, it sucks. But it can get better, and I hope it does, sooner rather than later.

  • nicole introvert

    Your well being is worth any bill that may come up. I am sending you well wishes from afar. Here is a link I found with some info on Ohio crisis lines:

    Also, if you are concerned about money, perhaps your county provides low cost/sliding scale emergency mental health services. That is where I turned several years ago when my anxiety was slipping into psychosis. I had to wait for “business hours” but someone was able to talk with me face to face immediately and get me on an intensive outpatient plan.

  • ischemgeek

    Check into the hospital, worry about payment later, JT. Based on my experience with chronic illness (my asthma and my partner’s mental illness), if you’re debating about going to the ER, you should probably be there already. I’ve never had my primary care doc tell me, “You shouldn’t have gone in for that,” but I’ve lost count of the times she’s said, “Next time, go to the hospital!”

    So please go in. It’s always better to err on the side of hospital in these things. As the others here have said, we’ll pull together on the financial end if it comes to it.

    Please go to the hospital.

  • Jennifer, Uppity Bitch and General Malcontent

    JT, whatever differences we have had, please know that I wish you well and want you to take care of yourself in whatever ways are possible and necessary. Please go to a hospital if you need to; to echo many other commenters, you only have one life, and that life is priceless (despite insurance companies’ attempts to place price tags on it).

    Take care of yourself.