Stop it! You're making me blush.

The religious right constantly tempts me to vanity! Here I am destroying god’s creation with my sinning, and god is so powerless to stop me that he sends swarms of paltry mortals who, incidentally, also can’t stop me.

They make me feel so powerful, all for enjoying life.  Think what I could do if I actually asserted myself…

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Loqi

    Think what I could do if I actually asserted myself…

    Hold on. First you need a mustache or goatee to stroke or twirl while you scheme. Then you can start imagining all the evil possibilities…

    • ah58

      Having recently grown a goatee, I can totally agree with your contention. I continually find myself stroking it while contemplating how to destroy various creationist arguments. It makes me feel so eeeeevil!

      • F

        I agree. It is so delightfully evil to have some facial hair. (Disclaimer: I’m doomed to permabeard anyway.)

        • baal

          I grew a goatee. My wife required its removal when I was having too much fun with it.

          • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

            It is impossible to have too much fun with a goatee.

            It is, however, possible to have so much fun that those incapable of growing their own goatee become jealous.

            The solution is simple! Simply allow and encourage her to stroke your goatee contemplatively, as a stand-in for the one she can’t grow. It’s fun for the whole family!

      • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

        Continuous stroking sounds like something it might be worth talking to your doctor about, if you’re using it to cover up other feelings. >.>

  • Joe T

    I hope you’ve gone back to sleep JT but i seem to be awake so i figured i would say hi. I spend a lot of time alone at my job and when I am around people I’m often surrounded by excessive religiosity and very poorly thought out ideas. Your writing as well as the rest of the #FTbullies helps more than you can imagine.

    Thanks for all you do.

  • Nathan Piccolo

    Call us if you want to talk, BTW you have mail.

  • Chris Looye

    I was worried when I saw that you posted so late, but you sound like you’re doing okay.

    Also, don’t doubt the power of a good goatee to stroke while scheming, it’s done wonders for me.

  • billyeager

    It occurred to me that your recent posts relating to your sleep disorder might well have prompted people, like myself, to email you information on possible treatment options and that, seeing as the emails would probably contain the word ‘drug’, they’d probably be automagically marked as SPAM by your gmail service.

    Just a heads up, you might want to check your SPAM folder.

  • F

    Blushing is good. Much better than sad or mad. Just don’t slide manic and stay up for hours. (I know, it’s sooo tempting.)

    I’d blush too, if I were as awesome as you.

  • Jasper of Maine (I feel safe and welcome at FTB)

    I’d blush too, but my blood is based on copper, as opposed to iron.

    • invivoMark

      Wouldn’t that make you blush blue? All that hemocyanin rushing into the cheeks….

    • Josh R.

      Do you blush in green?

    • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

      Look, he’s blueshing!

  • robb

    you need a white cat to stroke as you contemplate the same thing you do everyday–destroy the world.