Bishop says voting Democrat could cost you salvation.

One other reason I’m going to hell.  I collect them like Pokemon.

The Roman Catholic Bishop of Springfield, Illinois, is warning that the Democratic Party has endorsed “intrinsic evils” and consequently, voters who back Democratic candidates have put their eternal salvation at risk. In the Catholic Times, the official newspaper of the Springfield diocese, Bishop Thomas John Paprocki uses the manufactured controversy about mentioning “God” in the Democratic Platform to argue that the Democrats are hostile to faith, and went on to attack Democrats for endorsing gay rights and opposing the criminalization of abortion. He said those two planks demonstrate that the Democrats “explicitly endorse intrinsic evils,” while noting that he has “read the Republican Party Platform and there is nothing in it that supports or promotes an intrinsic evil or a serious sin.”

Yes, that’s the institution that regularly protects men who raped children attempting to tell you what is or is not evil.

This part cracked me up especially.

Paprocki concludes with a warning that while he is “not telling you which party or which candidates to vote for or against,”…

Because if he did, that means some of the Church’s opulence could be subject to taxation in the USA, and we can’t have that.

…backing the Democratic Party may put your eternal salvation at risk: “a vote for a candidate who promotes actions or behaviors that are intrinsically evil and gravely sinful makes you morally complicit and places the eternal salvation of your own soul in serious jeopardy.”

I’m not telling you who to vote for, but you’ll burn for eternity if you don’t vote for Romney.  So freaking dishonest.  If you can’t win with facts and you have no moral compass, try to win with implicit threats.  Remember, these are the guys trying to tell you where the evil behavior lies.

And you can trust ‘em like you trust the mob.  “You ain’t gotta pay your protection money every month, but if you don’t, something might just happen to your house.”

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Wes

    Gotta catch em all! Have you made any graven images lately?

  • SpaceGhoti

    Well, that’s not ENTIRELY accurate. They don’t necessarily DEMAND that you vote for Romney. I’m sure they’d consider a vote for the Constitution Party safe for your immortal soul:

    • Stogoe

      What if you Vote for Jesus(tm)? Are you safe then, or are you in even more peril because that’s a protestant plot?

      • Anonymous Atheist

        Catholics could vote for some of the saints pantheon instead if they want to be safe. ;)

  • Rowan

    Of course, Pokemon are also demonic and will lead you to hell.

  • Kaoru Negisa

    Like I was saying on FB yesterday, this really does sound like a mafia protection racket. “Nice soul you got there. Would be a shame if it roasted over hellfire for eternity.”

    I feel a little bad, though, comparing the mafia to the Church. I mean, the mafia is bad, but they don’t deserve that.

  • Randomfactor

    They should just write in Jesus. Or Pikachu. Either works for me.

  • Loqi

    The comparison goes the wrong way. Saying the church imitates the tactics of the mafia is like saying KISS imitates the music of of a cover band.

    • Anonymous Atheist

      Ha, good point. The Roman Catholic Church, the original Italian mob. ;)

  • invivoMark

    “a vote for a candidate who promotes actions or behaviors that are intrinsically evil and gravely sinful makes you morally complicit and places the eternal salvation of your own soul in serious jeopardy.”

    How can he know this? I mean, even assuming that there is a god, and that it’s the Catholic God, and He hates teh gays, and he thinks that every sperm is sacred, and he loves nothing more than sending a good person’s soul to hell just because of their opinions on these two issues… how the hell can anyone claim knowledge about this god’s position on voting in a single election in a single country over a paltry few social issues?

    He’s just pulling it from his butt for political purposes.

    Oh, by the way, I understand that the Flying Spaghetti Monster hates people who strap dogs to the tops of cars. If you vote for any candidate that has done such a thing, you may be in danger of pirates pillaging your home while you’re away.

    • John Horstman

      Yarrrrrr! Ya be free to vote for Romney if ya don’t mind a stroll along our lovely deck-adjacent plank. Be wary if ya opt for a swim: here there be monsters.

  • JHendrix

    “One other reason I’m going to hell. I collect them like Pokemon.” made me break the silence in my office with laughter.

    • JT Eberhard

      Here’s hoping I can go to hell for that too. :)

  • Glodson

    “with a warning that while he is “not telling you which party or which candidates to vote for or against,”…”

    I’m not saying who to vote for, but if you vote for Obama you are going to suffer forever in the fiery pits of Hell at the grace of our All Loving God. Jesus loves you. Unless you vote Democrat. If you do, he’s going to kill angel puppies and take a bath in their blood. Why are you going to make Jesus kill angel puppies?

    • Stogoe

      Now I want an angel puppy as a pet. Although I bet it would be tough to find a reputable breeder.

      • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

        You can buy one from me. Proper atheists can see the wings! You can see the wings, right? Coz you’re a proper atheist an’ all… I mean, if you can’t see the wings, you’re going to Atheist Hell, which is where a straw man adds your hominem. So you can see the wings, right?

  • Jaime Wise

    Hmmm. Kind of provides some insight on why they think things like providing birth control in employee health plans is an infringement of religious liberty. He seems to be saying that if you don’t actively stand against a person who you disagree with, you’re endorsing their actions and “complicit” in those actions. Like a guilt by association thing.

    Sounds more like the Stasi to me.

    • Anonymous Atheist

      In the couple dozen states that already had birth control coverage requirements at the state level, before the federal requirement was announced, the religionists weren’t making much of a fuss…

  • Rob

    One other reason I’m going to hell. I collect them like Pokemon.

    Gotta Damn ‘em all.

  • Jen

    Well, doesn’t really matter who they vote for, though, does it? If they do vote for Obama and put their ‘eternal salvation at risk’ they could totally just ask for forgiveness later, no harm no foul. Right?

    • Kaoru Negisa

      I’ve always wondered how somebody can have morality when all of their immoral acts are unconditionally forgiven…

  • Zed

    Someone should make collectible ‘Going to Hell for…’ cards, and pass them out/sell them somewhere.

  • LeftWingFox

    I have the sudden urge to draw blasphemous Pokemon.

    This one’s easy, sort of a red-white-and blue donkey thing.

    I doubt the one wearing a condom would be SFW. Especially the evolved form.

  • Mike de Fleuriot

    Gotta have a Mohammed pokeman, gets headaches in the dark and hears voices.

  • Matt Garrett

    If you can prove that this Bishop protected abusers, you have an arguement. But if you can’t, then you are engaging in guilt by association and making a RED HERRING that doesn’t serve your argument.

    • james heritage

      Actually, no he wouldn’t. He’s using the Bishop’s tactics against him. The bishop is saying that voting for someone can send you to hell based on that party’s platform, regardless if that candidate subscribes to everything on that platform or not. The author uses that same argument to condemn the Bishop based on his organization’s platform of covering up child rape scandals.

      • Anonymous Atheist

        The old saying “the fish stinks from the head” (Ratzinger) comes to mind.

    • Don Gwinn

      I’ve never seen evidence that he participated in the cover-ups. He is, however, famous for pointing out that the lawsuits brought by abuse victims against the dioceses (hope that’s a word) were baseless, evil, and caused by Satan.
      Not kidding; just Google “Paprocki abuse scandal” and you’ll find many references. Satan, not people who had been sexually molested as children by diocese employees who were then moved and protected from consequences by the diocese while the victims were blamed and either shamed or paid into silence, filed lawsuits against the Catholic church.

      Because Satan is opposed to child sexual molestation and obstruction of justice, apparently. The more you learn . . . .

      (I work in Springfield.)

  • bee

    If these people want to continue to comment about politics shouldn’t they have their tax exempt status revoked????

    • Don Gwinn

      That’s a lot of question marks, friend . . . . but, yup yup yup. It’s a simple binary choice; you can be a political organization or a religious organization. Political organizations are subject to taxation like everybody else; religious ones, for better or worse, are not, but there’s NO way you should be allowed to take the best of both worlds like you’re Hannah Freaking Montana or something. It ain’t right.

  • tony

    at least I’m enjoying the ride…

  • David

    So I go to hell for voting for Obama. But Child molesting Catholic Priest are protected by the church, That has a Nazi for a pope. That is a interesting point of view this guy has. Oh yea the Pope was a Nazi youth he looked so proud in his uniform in his picture

  • RuQu

    I’ve always wanted to sit down and make a “Jesus talked about…” histogram for my religious friends.

    How many times did he mention abortion? Zero.
    How many times did he mention caring for the sick? Far more than zero.
    How many times did he mention homosexuality? Zero
    How many times did he condemn the wealthy? Far more than zero.

    I wonder which issues mattered to him? As a Christian, shouldn’t those be the issues that matter to you?

    Want to emulate Jesus Christ? Vote Democrat.
    Want to support the political agenda of you Church or protect the wealth of televangelists and radio blowhards? Vote Republican. When they are raking in millions, they aren’t exactly unbiased when they give you advice.

  • ArachneS

    The last few years I went to a Catholic church I voted democrat. And election year homilies were ridiculous about this. There were many thinly veiled admonitions on who to vote for. Many prayers added to the end that people “remember their duty to follow God in the polls and vote for the pro-life candidates and against scientific attacks on human life(aka embryonic stem cell research)”.

  • Nate Larson

    In the great words of Dan Barker: “If salvation is the cure, atheism is the prevention.” If this idiot bishop had a shred of intellectual honesty, he’d recognize that voting for REPUBLICANS (especially Rmoney) would be cause for damnation. Then again, if he had a shred of intellectual honesty he wouldn’t have become a priest.

  • Phaerisee

    Human Torture is a sin and Republicans support it. Criminalizing Homelessness is a sin yet Republicans support it. Sorry, no one buys the abortion litmus test anymore