Even positive sex education will say that abstinence is some kind of virtue. As if “purity” was for people. As if sex had anything to do with a person’s value.
Pop stars from Britney Spears to Jessica Simpson, to the Jonas Brothers, to Miley Cyrus, to Justin Bieber routinely assert that they’re waiting ’til marriage – putting them into the Good Role Model category
Why does that put them in the “good” category? Why is this? Why promote this idea? Is waiting until you’re married to have sex actually a good idea?
Our state and federal tax dollars have long been spent promoting “chastity”. …..conservative commentators are happy to assert that waiting until marriage is the best choice for everyone and people who don’t wait aren’t doing marriage “the right way”
The Guardian, has a much better take on this: having sex before marriage is the best choice for nearly everyone.
People have sex. It’s a thing. “Waiting for marriage” is a false and poorly thought out “ideal,” as nobody is actually doing it:
95% of Americans don’t wait until their wedding night.
Other than the obvious, sex has benefits:
In terms of happiness, sex is better than money, and having sex once a week instead of once a month is the “happiness equivalent” of an extra $50,000 a year. People with active sex lives live longer. Sex releases stress, boosts immunities, helps you sleep and is heart-healthy.
There’s risks, but it’s not that sex itself is risky. It’s ignorance due to cultural sex negativity that causes problems. When society has sex -negative attitudes dictated from the religion virus, sex becomes something dirty and shameful. It goes from something healthy and fun, to something teenagers are woefully unprepared for.
Besides, would you buy a car without driving it? A home without taking a tour?
the old adage tells women that men won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free, if I’m buying a cow, you can bet I’m going to make sure the milk is to my liking.
The expectation to “wait until marriage” is absurd, and it turns out, it can be harmful:
waiting until marriage often means both early marriage and conservative views on marriage and gender – and people who marry early and/or hold traditional views on marriage and gender tend to have higher divorce rates and unhappier marriages.
When and how to have sex is something that should be left up to the consenting parties involved. The message of “purity” and “saving yourself” should go the way of the dowsing rod, a relic of the past we never needed in the first place.
Whenever you choose to have sex, the cultural message that waiting until marriage is the best choice is simply wrong. And it’s wrong for almost everyone.
You’re simply better off….getting off.
You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger