Vote for the One True ™ 3rd party!



I’ve come across a fantastically persuasive arguement. It turns out a 2 party system just isn’t going to meet the needs of today’s True Believer.  What’s a god fearing Christian to do?

It is time for Christians, true followers of Jesus Christ, to rise up and say NO to satan this November! As I prophetically shared last November, if God allowed the upcoming election for President to be between President Obama and Mitt Romney, it would truly be satan flipping a two-headed coin with his head on both sides!


Exactly! True Christians (TM) can’t afford to vote for either candidate! Tell me more!

What else should we know about our 2 candidates?

President Obama

  • -Pro death
  • -Slaughters babies
  • -Homosexual Agenda
  • -Loves satan

Former Governor Romney

  • -High priest of the Mormon cult
  • -Believes in a made up religion
  • -Worships fake Jesus, not the real one



This just won’t do. True Christians (TM) can’t vote for either of those guys!

Obviously, if Romney is elected people will turn into Mormons without him even trying:

Romney’s cult is very aggressive in seeking converts to their beliefs. They have been preparing for the past year for a Romney Presidency, and conservative estimates are that over 1 million people in this country alone will become part of his cult without him having to ever say a word. …How can a true follower of Christ vote in good conscience for a man whose cult will help send 1 million plus souls to hell?


And if Obama is re-elected, America will become a socialist, church-destroying, Israel-hating empire of satan. Obviously! True Christians (TM) can’t afford for politicians to fix this!

The problems in this nation are NOT political, they are spiritual. That is why NO politician can solve the real problems this nation faces! Do we have political problems that need to be addressed? Absolutely! However, until we deal with the spiritual problems this nation faces, nothing will ever change.


Yes. What this nation needs is a spiritual solution! So what should we do? Listen to church leaders? Listen to our spiritual advisers?

A true Christian will NEVER put politics above souls, so please watch for any so-called Christian leader who endorses and supports either President Obama or Mitt Romney, since they are nothing but “hirelings” and NOT true men or women of God because they obviously don’t care about souls!

possibly my favorite flavor text in the entire game.

HECK NO! You can’t listen to those charlatans.  Those frauds are just hired help to spread the agenda of evil! No, the answer is clear:

So who is a Christian to vote for with a clear conscience? The answer is simple…JESUS!!!

HOT DAMN, It’s all so clear now!

I am encouraging true followers of Jesus Christ to say NO to satan and say YES to Jesus! This November, write in the name JESUS for President! …rather than vote for a third party candidate, write in the name of Jesus for President.

The gay agenda: possibly involves gardening?

Are the problems of our country caused by god taking a nap, and Jesus no longer at the wheel? THEY SURE ARE!

The great thing is that God is not done with His people! God still has a remnant who won’t bow their knee to baal! It is time for God’s people to rise up and take our stand for Him! It is time for our voice to be heard!

Jesus does not have a drivers license. Please do not let him drive.

Speak up and stand out True Believers (TM)!

We can do that this November, taking a real stand for God and His Truth by writing in the name of JESUS for President. I assure you that if 1 million, 2 million, 10 million Christians make this symbolic statement for our faith, we will no longer be ignored. We have a chance to make a statement for our faith that the world will not be able to ignore! I am tired of satan having his way.



You can help stop the spread of satan by encouraging all True Believers (TM) to head to and pledge to vote for Jesus. Help them make a difference this election!


The most interesting part of this?

I can’t tell if its a poe or not. The whois around the website gave an email address, and a bit of searching on that email turned up a few other websites, most just 404′d out. Something about “the jonah project.” There was another , which is of about the same tone….and then a sub/dom website?

Seriously. I can’t tell.



You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger

I recruit in Kansas City,

About doctorburger
  • Amyc

    Is that a real Magic card? That’s awesome if it is!

  • Adam Lee

    I demand to see Jesus’ long-form birth certificate before I’d even consider voting for him.

    • cag

      Were J’s parents American citizen? Was J born in the USA? People want to know.

    • John Horstman

      Well, if you believe his published biography, he is definitely not a US-born citizen…

    • Rowan

      Well, since Jesus was a Founding Father, I think he’d be eligible the same way that George Washington was.

      • Rowan

        OK, I just checked with David Barton, and he totally agrees thats legit. VOTE JESUS 2012!

  • Anonymous Atheist

    ‘Voting For Jesus’ is for real; it’s part of ‘LivePrayer’ aka Bill Keller Ministries. Also don’t miss the accompanying ‘Voting For Satan’ site. The ’9/11 Christian Center’ is (or was) another Bill Keller Ministries project.

    The registrant Michael Glassberg is in some webmaster-type role for this very real evangelical fundamentalist Christian group, Bill Keller Ministries (recently labeled a ‘hate group’ by Southern Poverty Law Center; see also: ‘The Lies of Bill Keller’ ) and its ‘LivePrayer’ site: (“`PEOPLE FREAK OUT’” section)

    Here is Bill Keller promoting the VotingForJesus site via LivePrayer:

    Bill Keller is the name to pay attention to here, not Glassberg.

  • Don

    You win the internet for using a magic card lol.

  • RuQu

    It seems fake…like a liberal response to the voter suppression by convincing Christians to waste votes…yet it’s real….I think I just broke my faith in humanity. That was the last faith I had left!