The gay agenda: Duck Overlords

DrB-

 

Just so you know, if you tolerate “the gay,” than ducks will take over the planet.


 

You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger

I recruit in Kansas City, http://www.kcatheists.org/
& https://www.facebook.com/KCAtheists

  • Alicia Kopp

    This is the only way to bring about the reign of the Crocoduck! Let it be so!

  • http://umlud.blogspot.com Umlud

    … but, but, but:

    1) We do compete with ducks in terms of evolution. True, it’s an almost zero level of direct competition, but there is competition.
    2) Ducks do practice homosexuality, so even if the world worked like this 14 year old was taught, we should still be able to keep that intellectual edge that the Romans had over the ducks.
    3) How did this get printed? Even beyond the fact that the argument is wrong in the facts, it’s also really poorly constructed.

  • Adam

    This can’t be real…

  • http://www.twitter.com/BarkingAtheist Daniel Mоran

    Ducks are one of the many animal species that partake in homosexual behaviour too.

  • DaveL

    I call POE. The “ducks will get you” and the added touch of “Homeschooled” in the signature are a laying it on a little thick.

  • smrnda

    Umlud, I was going to mention the Romans too. They were fine with all manners of homosexual and supposedly ‘deviant’ sexual acts, and they had a pretty kick ass civilization. If I contrast places where homosexuality is disapproved of versus where it is accepted in the present, the least homophobic places seem to be clearly better than the most homophobic ones.

  • Gareth

    I was going to make a comment about this being a great argument against homeschooling, but that last sentence actually cracked me up, and I’m sure it’s not actually serious.

    The ducks will get you in the end!

  • Baal

    If you need me, i’ll be in the bushes hiding from the ducks.

  • RuQu

    While I have to assume it’s fake, I do also concede there is a certain logic to part of her argument.

    She doesn’t want us to live in the Stone Age, like those Iron Age Romans did. Instead we should all follow the holy book of Bronze Age nomads. Progress!

  • John Horstman

    Romans ate wheat! Surely, after 2000 years, our level of intelligence should have evolved, so we can truly pride ourselves on being cleverer than our forebears (bears that came before us?). Why u stil eet weet?

    Anyhoo, another clear demonstration that people shouldn’t talk about evolution if they don’t know fuck-all about it.

    • John Horstman

      (Note: I’ve given up trying to parse satire from actual positions, as Poe’s Law is pretty much a universal maxim at this point. In a world where people honestly ask why there are no crocoducks or why a chimp has never given birth to a human, this could easily be serious. The best I can do is take people at their word until I get an indication that they’re not serious.)

  • Drakk

    So if we let the gay agenda continue, ducks will evolve past humans. Therefore, humans will compete with ducks, THEREFORE, we’re all going to end up with ballistic corkscrew penises.

    Tell me I’m wrong.

    • Drakk

      That ought to be “all human males”. Privilege check.

      • Anonymous

        Not necessarily. If we also end up competing with hyenas, women may get a corkscrew “something” too.

  • ANONYMOUS TOO

    HEY, DUMB SHITS… WHILE GAYS ARE PRACTICING MALE-MALE SEX, THEY ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING TO EVOLUTION SINCE THEY HAVE NO OFFSPRING. THEREFORE YOUR WHOLE THEORY IS SERIOUSLY FLAWED. ONLY NON-GAYS, HAVING MALE-FEMALE SEX HAVE OFFSPRING. THEREFORE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN HAVE ANY AFFECT (GOOD OR BAD) ON EVOLUTION. THEREFORE, IF DUCKS EVOLVE FASTER AND BETTER THAN HUMANS, YOU CAN ONLY BLAME HETEROSEXUALS. THEREFORE TO SAVE MANKIND, WE MUST OUTLAW HETEROSEXUAL SEX.

    • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

      Indoor voice, please.

    • Loqi

      Saw an all-caps post on the recent comments list and hoped it was a “checkmate, atheists!” comment about how believing in evolution and supporting gay rights are contradictory positions. I’m sad that it wasn’t. I’m spoiling for a fight today.

  • ANONYMOUS TOO

    Sorry about the yelling. My comment addressed the notion that one can blame any type of evolution (progression or regression) on gays. They don’t procreate, therefore do not contribute to the gene pool for the purposes of evolution. Since, most anti-gays claim that being gay is a “choice” then it can’t be due to “bad genes”. Therefore, even if a gay man occasionally has sex with a woman, he still can’t affect the evolution of humans. Once again, only heterosexual sex leads to gays. So heterosexuals must be blamed for homosexuals.


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