Think of the children!



It’s that time of year, where we come together on the most high holy of days, and contemplate some great moral questions.

It’s time for Halloween.

There comes a time, when we heed a certain call. When the world. Must come, together as one.  That time is now. We can’t go on, pretending day by day, that someone, somehow will make a change. Therefore, presented within is the newly reformulated Ng and Cohen Candy Hierarchy.  


Data has been gathered, the results are in!

No, seriously. They actually did some research with kids.


Check out the Great Candy Hierarchy 2012 here. The foot notes alone are enough to make you seriouisly consider your worth if you’re handing out bottom tier goods.

Do it for the children.


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  • John Horstman

    Footnote for item “Fair Trade Chocolate”: “The authors are curious as to which neighborhoods you belong to. ” Mine! :-P
    Also, Halloween-candy-based research strikes me as the very best use of a Sociology degree possible. Stupid me going into gender studies. At some point one would doubtless be able to use the phrase, “Yes, I’m buying candy… for Science!”

  • Kodie

    I’ve become curmudgeonly. One of the benefits of being a grown-up is going to the store and buying whatever kind of candy you like the most. Come begging and you get what you get. I know that’s no fun, but I don’t feel responsible for making it fun. In theory. In reality, they don’t come to my door because I live in an apartment building where people usually move away before they have children or soon after, and anyone else who doesn’t understand that people with no children aren’t going to answer the door or decorate the hallway or provide the atmosphere for their child as their priority or feed them candy. When I was a kid in the suburbs, we went house to house and we might hate getting those cheap peanut taffies, but where does the entitlement to complain about it come from? Nobody seems to be using that as a teachable moment to consider how little someone else cares about Halloween or can afford to buy junk food for other people, and yet they tolerate the imposition by still buying and dispensing candy at all. Or maybe they know everyone hates it and that’s how they observe the holiday, because that’s what is fun for them now. Nobody cares about their fun.

    Yes, sociology would make this important and interesting to study. I don’t hate kids, but maybe not having kids myself is such a blind spot and I’m no fun and a bad sport and should just die if I don’t care about Halloween. I still love candy. I can appreciate nostalgia. Being nostalgic, when I think back on Halloween, I didn’t judge neighbors for what kind of candy they gave out but whether they had a doorbell or a hard wooden door. I ate all the candy I got, eventually, I had hierarchies of my own, but hearing that other kids traded, dealt in, or cheated siblings out of candy is news to me. I might have had a different childhood and a different outlook on Halloween as an adult if I had known this was something to do.