Urgent Hurricane News

DrB-

In a stunning turn of events, there is urgent news over Hurricane Sandy: The storm is caused by gays.

The storm is just making landfall now, but Chaplain John McTernan has got it figured out already:

 the preacher says the gathering storm must be God’s judgment on gays, and punishing the president Barack Obama for coming out in support of marriage equality.

Double down on the crazy?

‘Obama is 100% behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem.

DARE HE TRIPLE DOWN?

His reasoning for this is that it has been 21 years since the ‘perfect storm’ of October 1991.

’21 years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection,’ he said.

Can’t argue with math.

So…it’s 2012, and 2*0 = 0, but 1+2= 3, and the trinity has 3 parts, but the cross has 2, which gives us 2+5 = 7; Therefore gays cause weather.

[http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/christian-preacher-blames-gays-hurricane-sandy291012]

 


 

You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger

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  • Zme

    Ahem…”LOW” barometric pressure (which is caused by transfer of heat from the ocean to the atmosphere i.e. as the water vapour in the warm, moist air rises, it condenses out giving up its heat of vapourisation to the air).

  • Katybe

    See, now given my impression of the kind of people who think god sends natural disasters to punish people accepting things they personally disagree with (and I’m in the UK, so most of my impression comes from reading here or FTB – I could be wrong), I think you could really mess with their heads if you said god was trying to deter them from electing a mormon…

    • Baal

      I like that idea. Time for a silly event that can get TV coverage. Maybe ~ 2 people pretending to be teapartiers outside the white house with a sign that says, “Sandy is God‘s Message to MAN, no morMAN in the WhiteHouse”.

      (excessive bolding done for verisimilitude)

      • UsingReason

        And there is a Sandy, right close to Salt Lake City and the Mormon Temple; coincidence? I think not.

  • Loqi

    So three is perfection because trinity, while seven is perfection? Can two different values represent the same perfection? I don’t know if that’s allowed in godonometry.

    • invivoMark

      And are they only perfect when multiplied, or can 7 + 3 be perfection as well? Or 7C3? 7! – 3 * sqrt(21)? 7’3″ =87 inches? Chromosomal band 7q3? The third seven-letter word in the third paragraph of section seven of the Treaty of Versailles?

  • Verimius

    Any number, ANY NUMBER, can be made to appear numerologically significant, given sufficient manipulations.

    • invivoMark

      Not counting the smallest uninteresting number, of course.

  • Verimius

    I just read one of the best comments ever on Chaplain McTernan’s website. On his blog, McTernan said “The storm is projected to come right over my house”. In response, one Jack Flackett (a pretty clever spoonerism in its own right) said, “Aha. And what have you been up to lately, eh?”!

  • Charlie

    So just for giggles let’s say that there actually is a god and it is in general good with a decent reason for all the messed up stuff in this world. How much more likely is it that this would be caused by not feeding, curing, or caring for all of the people that die on a daily basis due to our laziness and greed? My bust, clearly it is caused because of how we love eachother. I hope all imaginary beings excuse me for the error.

  • Drakk

    21 years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection.

    Sophisticated theology.

  • John Horstman

    I did election phone-banking last night for Planned Parenthood, and the people ranting at me about how I murder babies were more coherent than this drivel. Also, off-topic, but one guy started talking about how he wanted to dismember and devour babies; I thought eating babies was supposed to be an atheist thing, not a pro-choice thing.

  • http://eternalbookshelf.wordpress.com Ani Sharmin

    His reasoning for this is that it has been 21 years since the ‘perfect storm’ of October 1991.
    ’21 years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection,’ he said.

    There are three Deathly Hallows, of which Harry Potter becomes the master due to his willingness to face death to save others, and Voldemort created seven horcruxes … therefore, hurricanes are caused by a secret war in the wizarding world, of which most Muggles are unaware.

    • Drakk

      Wasn’t this actually true as a plot point in one of the books?


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