How to shove atheism down people’s throats in 10 easy steps.

Christina here…

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Stop shoving atheism down my throat!” from non-atheists. We’ve also heard, “Stop shoving your religion down my throat!” from others.

This is a figurative phrase. I means something like, “stop imposing your beliefs on me in a way that is threatening, hostile, oppressive, or inescapable!”

Well, what if we want to shove atheism down some throats?

Here’s a few suggestions, formatted in 10 easy steps.

1. Go after your family: It’s easy to shove atheism down the throats of family members.  Make your family a captive audience, especially children. Don’t let your children question atheism. Ban them from going to church or playing with religious children. Hinge important privileges like computer time or time with friends on them going to atheist meetups with you. Let them know that no theist is part of your family. Teach them that all theists lack morals. Withhold your love and affection from your theistic child. Punish them severely and physically if you catch them reading any theistic material or engaging in anything theistic.

2. Go after the children in schools: Children in schools are another captive audience. Make sure your school recites The Atheist Mantra during the morning announcements, daily. Make the children pledge allegiance to godlessness. Invite atheist speakers to give presentations during school assemblies about the virtues of godlessness and the vice of theism. Hang quotes about the evils of the Christian god in the hallways.

3. Go after language: Use language to marginalize theism. Tell people that theism is a slap in the face to this great nation. Define theism and atheism in moral terms: atheists are moral, theists are immoral. If theists try to work toward having more rights, say that giving them rights will take away your religious freedom.

4. Go after public buildings or objects:  Carve the atheist manifesto in marble on public buildings, especially buildings of law such as courthouses. Print “There are no gods” on all of the currency in your country.

5. Go after laws. Make sure the laws of your country reflect only atheist ideals. Example: atheist marriage is traditional marriage. Make sure your government does not recognize marriage between two Christians. In fact, ban theistic marriage.

6. Go after inclusiveness: Don’t let children form theistic clubs at schools. Loudly proclaim that atheism is the only right choice and the only way. Rip the Jesus fish off of people’s cars. Don’t allow theist’s children in the boy scouts.  This is a rather passive-aggressive tactic, but it works.

7. Straight up make atheism the only legal choice: This one sounds simple, but you have to be willing to grossly violate human rights. Make theism illegal. Punish people who engage in theism with death or imprisonment. While you’re at it, make it illegal to worship people or governments. Make it illegal to make fun of Christopher Hitchens.

8. Atheistmas:  Make sure that the cultural trappings of your favorite Atheist Holidays are all but inescapable.  If you own a business, play the same 20 Atheistmas songs over their loudspeakers for at least a month, preferably two. Call it persecution and anti-atheist bigotry if even private businesses and individuals who aren’t atheist decline to loudly recognize your atheist holidays. If some businesses choose to advertise with the words “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Atheistmas”, or some public spaces include holiday displays from non-atheist positions or even religious displays, call this the “War on Atheistmas”. Organize boycotts until businesses place exclusive emphasis on Atheistmas.  After all, atheism is the reason for the season.

9. Consistently confuse the line between neutrality and persecution. Claim that any act of neutrality toward atheism is actually an act of theism. If theists want our atheist manifesto removed from the courthouse, claim they are making our courthouse theistic. If theists want us to stop making children recite the Atheist Mantra in schools, claim they are making our schools theistic.

10. Go door to door: Canvass neighborhoods, knocking on doors, so you can tell people the good news about godlessness while they stand awkwardly in the doorway.

Have fun!

Learn more about Christina and follow her @ziztur.

About christinastephens
  • http://yeswesam.wordpress.com Sam

    Atheistmas! Love it!

    • Anonymous

      Called Festivus. A Jew thought of this years ago

      • Nate Frein

        That “whiffing” sound? That was you. Missing the point.

      • CCinRI

        It only figures that Jews killed Jesus, and now they want credit for killing Santa and Christmas too.

      • TychaBrahe

        Newtonmass. In honor of Isaac Newton’s birthday on December 25.

        Sometimes abbreviated Newton-F/a, but we think that’s disrespectful.

        • Nope

          Except Newton was full of it after all so proves Ol’ Albert himself. Call it Democritusmas instead

          • Glodson

            But Newton was actually born on the 25. Einstein was born in March.

            Making is Birthday a better substitute for Easter.

            Relativister.

      • Shane

        . . . A Jew called Jerry Seinfeld—on his show.

    • StenDarker

      You better watch out! You better not cry! Better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why. Nobody is coming to town!

      Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
      Had a very shiny nose!
      And if you ever saw it
      You would assess that he had a genetic abnormality

      Silent night
      Ordinary night
      all is calm
      in the general vicinity

      This is too much fun. =D

      • Sackagawea

        LMAFO

  • Jaime Wise

    A (sadly) relevant post. Thanks for making me laugh, then realize it really isn’t a laughing matter.

  • http://peicurmudgeon.wordpress.com/ peicurmudgeon

    Ok, no deep throat jokes. Unfortunately, this post will be totally lost on the proselytizers. Well written Christina.

    • Bobby

      Christina or… CHRISTIAN!

      • Dayne

        She shall now be known as “Atheits”.

        • Jordan

          Or “Athena”!

          • DeadMeatGF

            Or “Atheina”

  • http://brutereason.net Miriam

    “If some businesses choose to advertise with the words “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Atheistmas”, or some public spaces include holiday displays from non-atheist positions or even religious displays, call this the “War on Atheistmas”.”

    My favorite part. Well done!

  • baal

    Despite knowing your aunt and uncle are deeply religious, send pro-atheism books as birthday and atheistmas presents o their kid. Do it especially when the kid 6-7 so they can read and know what it means to get a package in the mail. Do it with regularity so you know the aunt and uncle will have to be on their toes to intercept the ‘gift’ before the child sees it and feels like their parents are gift nappers.

    (h/t my father in law, were it just a bible that’d be one thing. The let’s hate gays while calling it love book was another thing altogether (entirely short on teachable moments))

    • christinastephens

      +1

  • KRH

    Wonderful! Well Done!

  • DCLXVI

    Poe’s law is going to apply to this. Atheistmas!

  • Len

    Brilliant. I’ll start tomorrow :-)

  • http://facebook.com/memalky Malky

    Niiiice. I’ve definitely read these tactics somewhere before though…

    • http://mamamara.wordpress.com Mara

      Yes, I was thinking the same thing. It was as if someone somewhere had already tried this. Huh. Well, I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually.

  • MB

    Enforce ritualistic singing of “No Gods Bless America” at every single professional baseball game played.

    • Anonymous

      Love it!

    • Anonymous

      Not all pro baseball – they don’t sing that crap at Blue Jay games.

  • Ted B.

    “Non-atheists” is a double negative.

    • christinastephens

      Done intentionally.

  • John Horstman

    Ooh, thanks for the reminder to secularize all of my cash!

    Also, nice list. Humor is pretty much the only coping mechanism I have left.

    • Roland

      I didn’t really see it as funny. Though it certainly points out yet another hypocrisy of theism

  • Noah

    atheitmas. ha thats way funny

  • Lynn The Atheist

    I see what you did there.

  • Brian P.

    Alternatively why not just trust no gods that everything’ll be OK.

  • ron

    Perfectly played!

  • http://www.deanhall.com Dean Hall

    Excellent!
    And to borrow one from Hitch (paraphrasing here): Corner sick people on their hospital death-beds, and read passages from “God is Not Great” to them, explaining how they’ve been a surf all their life and now may be their only chance to redeem themselves. If they don’t “convert,” tell them you’ll be back tomorrow because you’re worried about their salvation.

  • Chris

    The sad truth is, if you simply replace the word “atheism” with “christianity” with in this article, then you realize it’s christians who are shoving religion down peoples throats… This article was comical in its hypocrisy.

    • iknklast

      I think that was the intention. It’s not hypocrisy, it’s parody

      • nichole diavonti

        exactly

    • Robert C.

      I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it did- and what it meant. Taking the tactics of the Xtians and replacing words.

    • Patrick

      “satire” : the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

      “A common feature of satire is strong irony or sarcasm—”in satire, irony is militant”—but parody, burlesque, exaggeration, juxtaposition, comparison, analogy, and double entendre are all frequently used in satirical speech and writing”

      http://bit.ly/rOLC0p

    • Anonymous

      I find it funny that you didn’t realise this was intended.

    • Ex

      How did you manage to survive long enough to learn how to use a computer?

    • Brad1990

      Er, it wasn’t hyppocritical, it was satirical. Jesus hopping Christ on a stick, how could you not get that?

      • Anonymous

        I love that “Jesus hopping Christ on a stick”! Going to be my swear phrase of choice.

    • Isilzha

      That whooshing sound you heard? That the was the point flying over your heard!

      • Isilzha

        *head

  • kochevnik

    Christ means “wax.” When you have a country filled with stupid wax worshipers, atheism begins to look like salvation from the xtian retardation.

    • Patrick

      Uh huh. In what language does it mean wax?

    • luckyducky

      I think it would probably be closer to “oil” as it actually means “annointed one” which is generally done with oil.

  • LordOberon

    You can have your Atheistmas when you pry the aluminum pole from my cold, dead hands! Festivus Forever!

    • JohnnieCanuck

      I infer you are a denizen of the Great White North. People who live in the Deep South will have had no experience of clinging desperately to certain metal objects at this time of year. Nor will they understand the dilemma presented with the knowledge that micturation can quickly save the situation, at some cost.

  • Greg H

    Great satire, and a great object lesson. Wondering how soon Fox will report on this as if you really meant it.

  • Rob

    Isn’t ‘non-atheists’ in the first sentence redundant? Shouldn’t wejust use ‘theists’?
    Just being a dick

    • Doug Kirk

      The same reason they use non-christians or non-believers instead of atheists when talking about atheists. It’s a framing thing, saying non-atheist makes it sound like believer is a default and theists are lacking something. It’s a good dig at the assumption that everyone is religious unless proven otherwise (or in it’s most extreme but unfortunately most common form, “everyone is my kind of christian until proven otherwise”)

      • Jon Shumaker

        When Christians use “non-Christian” or “non-believer”, they mean exactly what they’re intended to. Hopefully realizing that atheists don’t have their own specific Christian slang term won’t ruin anyone’s day.

  • phil robinson

    Great article, Christina Stephens.

  • HeathenNTX

    Hmm, I seem to recognize this process from somewhere… Where was it… It couldn’t have been from the Christians, those embattled few who are surrounded on all sides by unbelievers; who love their neighbors unconditionally, and respect everybody else’s choice of what to believe or not… Could it?

    • http://brainscroll.wordpress.com RickRussellTX

      @HeathenNTX

      > love their neighbors unconditionally, and respect everybody else’s choice of what to believe

      You’re thinking of Sikhs.

      • Cindy

        and it harm none do as thou will

    • Jon Shumaker

      @HeathenNTX
      I think you might be underestimating if you think Christians are the embattled few. If you are referring to the more vocal, abrasive, and “extreme” Christians that practice the behaviors listed in the original post, and in that case, I hope you ARE correct in that assumption. Most Christians don’t take the approach listed in the original post, but get lumped in with everyone that chooses to make a spectacle in the name of their faith. And disagreeing openly with their choice doesn’t mean someone isn’t still unconditionally loved or their rights respected. If that were the case, married couples wouldn’t love or respect their spouses, nor parents their children.

      • iknklast

        Yeah, right. My truly liberal, tolerant Christian friends spend as much time trying to “convert” me as my “intolerant” right-wing friends – more in fact. And the look of ‘sad love’ on their face is as condescending (more in fact) as the most self-righteous winger could ever hope to accomplish. In addition, I hear all the time about how Christians are being stifled – from people who haven’t been to church in years, don’t bother to pray, and believe that God is pure unadulterated love. No, not all Christians, of course not – but in truth, the minority part is the ones that truly practice live and let live, and truly accept atheists. Many will accept other religions, but they just have to start pontificating when an atheist is around, and they are often as outraged as the conservative Christians when “prayer” is attacked (they also tend to see it as an attack on prayer). And for those that agree with us, they (like you) spend more time on atheist posts trying to correct us in our misapprehensions about Christians than they do trying to explain this to their fellow Christians. Just like conservative Christians, many liberal Christians feel attacked anytime an atheist speaks openly – even if they’re directing their speech to other atheists. Try your argument somewhere else, OK?

  • Nicholas Beardlsy

    My Sagan.. the bravery in this post is overwhelming.

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism Brave Saganite

    Haha.. I see what you did thar.. take all of my upvotes you magnificent bastard!!

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/braveryjerk Lifter

    “The fact is I don’t even lift” – Christard.

  • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Oh, and don’t forget to use social media to force atheism into everyone’s faces. Empty, meaningless early morning Facebook status updates are best for this, such as “I ate cereal today AND THERE IS NO GOD”. Also, whenever the opportunity arises, be sure to loudly and piously declare “I’m not going to pray!”. I have a hangnail – DON’T PRAY FOR ME!

    • AtheistScientist

      Why not? Are you not brave enough?

      • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

        Hurricane Sandy bore down on the coast threatening to kill people and do immense property damage, and I just wasn’t brave enough to pray. Maybe if I had, things would have been different. If only I had the bravery to pretend I have an invisible magic super-friend who could solve all problems if I ask nicely. Besides, I didn’t know if it was Poseidon (coz the storm came from over water) or Zeus (coz the storm came from the air, obviously).

    • http://undermyfitted.blogspot.com/ AJ

      Why should he be? His lack of faith will see him through anything that may come his way! Logic is the truth, the light, and the way…praise science.

    • nominalize

      as a tip, if you say “There is no God,” you’ve already lost, since you set things up so that the only alternative to atheism is Christianity, when that is not the case. It’s more helpful to say “There are no gods”, since it sets up tons of alternatives… which is harder for the Christian to fight.

  • derp

    derp

  • http://www.yahoo.com James

    Excellent satire!

  • http://brainscroll.wordpress.com RickRussellTX

    > giving them rights will take away your religious freedom

    You mean my nonreligious freedom. WHY AM I ALWAYS UNDER ATTACK?

  • NakedAnthropologist

    I metaphorically tip my hat to you Madam! Excellent!

  • Heidi

    This is just brilliant!! I shared it on Facebook and really hope people read it and begin to understand how atheists feel in this “Christian nation”. I really don’t think most of them do, and the ones who are honest with themselves won’t be able to deny that what they are doing is seriously wrong.

  • john fraser

    it isn’t even thanksgiving yet and you’re already talking about atheistmas? pretty soon we’ll see atheistmas decorations before the world series.

  • http://reddit.com/r/magicskyfairy Stalin was a cool guy

    Literally Dawkins level of braveness here.

    Sagan bless you.

  • Chris

    An excellent piece of satire that will undoubtedly be lost on those that need it the most.

  • Nathan Resick

    I have a simple policy – so long as you keep your religion away from me i’ll keep my facts away from you.

  • Robin

    Brilliant. I’m celebrating Atheistmas this December on the 25th (Randon date).

  • Anonymous

    I’ve seen atheists do all these things.

    • Nate Frein

      [Citation Needed]

      • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

        Quick, take down the Atheistmas decorations… We’ve been rumbled!

  • http://www.changethetopic.com Birdman

    Brilliant. Thanks.

  • marcus v

    Nice try, CHRISTina.

    To the gallows with you.

  • NickBeard

    Dawkins would be proud of this gem, cHristina. I don’t think people realize the oppression I face while wearing my “God is an imaginary friend for grown-ups” shirt at my college. It’s sickening.

    • Jon Shumaker

      By oppression, do you mean criticism? The same thing that you’re doing to any theist just by putting the shirt on in the morning. Must be rough to get back what you’re giving. Novel concept, though.

      • NickBeard

        Yes, clearly, Jon, because Atheists are the one who have been committing genocide and halting human progress for 2000 years. OH WAIT NO, that’s the CHRISTIANS.

      • baal

        hmmmm, must be atheist cheerleaders putting up anti-belief banners in TX then? Or was it the Judge Roy of Alabama who decided that all court cases would only go forward if scientific level of proof were offered? I’m sorry, where were the avowed atheists demanding adherence to a specific set of beliefs?

  • Anonymous

    I’ll pray for you all :)

  • columbus

    Poignant. Thoughtful. Hilarious. I”ve no doubt my grandmother will be forwarding this to me in the next few days with the subject title, “YOU MUST READ THIS: OBAMA’S SOCIALIST ATHEISTIC DOGMA FOUND… LEAKED BY INSIDERS.”

    • cavalier

      LMFAO

  • http://bit.ly/M4nytr Otto Hunt

    I like number 10. I might actually do it!

  • Anonymous

    You are fucking awesome. I just subscribed to you on facebook in hope for occasional reprieve from prayer and praising in my feed.

  • http://circleofreason.org Frank Burton

    “Been there, done that.” — Lenin

    • NickBeard

      That doesn’t count, you faggot. Lenin basically saw himself as a god, therefore he wasn’t an atheist. Fuck off.

      • mythbri

        Dude, seriously? Sure, it’s ridiculous to claim that Lenin did all the things listed in Christina’s article – it’s a tired old trope that god-botherers use to “prove” that atheists are evil. But you don’t need to use a homophobic slur to make your point.

        • NickBeard

          Shut up, I have gay friends, I’m not homophobic. Lenin was actually a good leader anyway, getting rid of religion should be the goal of any world leader.

      • Jon Shumaker

        “Lenin BASICALLY saw himself as a god, therefore he wasn’t an atheist”. Does that mean that because I’m a Christian who BASICALLY believes in science, that I am therefore not allowed to claim Christianity anymore? Please let this be a BASIC fact to everyone here that there are idiots on EVERY side of a topic.

        • Anonymous

          The term for believing ones self is a god is auto-theism, therefore he would not have been considered an atheist.

    • Spuddie

      There was Commie-mas in December?

  • derpina

    what about us poorly agnostics?

    • http://saurio.blogspot.com Saurio

      You are closet atheists ;-)

  • marius sorin

    Very well said! I hope some theist read this in the correct key and get to understand what we atheists do mean when we say “stop shoving your religious beliefs to me”. Excellent article!

  • Very Amusing

    Very amusing, thank you for clarifying that whilst it is religious people that clearly push their unfalsifiable beliefs on other more so than those without such beliefs, you are more than willing to attack the lack or faith in your specific religious doctrine in others with idiotic suggestions. Of course this is not out of your own internal fears that those questioning your beliefs may come to different conclusions than the ones spelled out for you, you’re just plain right.

    • Nate Frein

      ERMAGURD! One of the atheist bloggers on an atheist blog wrote a satire piece pointing out the hypocrisy of christians who whinge about atheists “shoving” atheism down people’s throats.

      Of course, Very Amusing, all that your droll observation has shown is that, like many other christians, you (deliberately?) fail to see the difference between criticism of a behavior and attacking a belief.

    • Roxy

      Thanks for noticing. We are just plain right.

      Welcome to the club! Don’t forget to tuck in your tail or to file down your horns and hooves !

  • Iolanthe from Brisbane

    Oh my (non) god!!! I have actually ripped a Christian fish off a car! Stupid iPad for capitalising Christian

  • woah

    Wow… someone sounds a little bitter…

  • c smythe

    They wanna hand out bibles at our school.
    I wanna hand out The Origin of Species at their church . . .

    • Jon Shumaker

      The difference: They will do it in an attempt to spread their faith. You will talk about it on message boards.

    • NickBeard

      LOL this is good, also put the bibles in Barnes and Noble in the Fiction section, lol.

  • Anonymous

    Well written, made my day!

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    • Anonymous

      Complete load of shit

    • jesus h christ

      Complete load of shit!

      • jesus h christ

        It’s so shit I had to say it twice

        • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

          Bless you too, cupcake.

        • Jon Shumaker

          P.S.-Anyone that would post under the name “Jesus H. Christ”, clearly isn’t on the Christian side of the ball.

  • AndruAesthetik

    Yeah, separating church and state is like totally a waste of time.

  • jesus h christ

    Intact, it is so shit I felt the need to say it twice…

  • James

    Don’t forget to link this on facebook with “like this if Jesus didn’t save you, share it if you don’t give your life into god’s hands”.

  • Siju Chollampat

    11. Go after nomenclature
    Change the names of people, buildings, cities, streets, events and whatever which has any kind of religious connection to atheist names. For example, change the name Christina to Atheistina :)

    • Nate Frein

      I will name my daughter this.

    • Jon Shumaker

      P.S.-Anyone that would post under the name “Jesus H. Christ”, clearly isn’t on the Christian side of the ball.

  • Azkyroth

    Shoving atheism down people’s throats is fine. Just make sure you have informed consent and a safety system in place, and keep physiological limits in mind even if your partner claims not to have any.

  • http://saurio.blogspot.com Saurio

    12. Don’t watch any porn where the stars say “Oh my God!” during sex. Lobby to make all porn stars scream “Evolution is true!” or “Flying Spaghetti Monster!” in orgasm.

  • http://invinsibleforce.com martin granberg

    Hi. I have the proof of why Einsteins theory of relativity is wrong. I have written a long theory about the infinity reaction chain. If you do not understand it then its fine to ignore but if you do understand it. Help to spread; http://invinsibleforce.com (PROOF from UNIVERSE of Gods non existance)

    Kindly Regards / Martin (do not reply)

    • A VEXA

      Unintelligible..

    • Spuddie

      The Simpsons did it.

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    • Anonymous

      First thing tomorrow I’m dressing up in ugly flat shoes & a pious, self-satisfied face & pounding the streets of Bournemouth with a big rucksack on my back handing out copies of this marvellous new guide to ‘the new truth’ . We’re always being falsely accused of being ‘aggressive’, just because we politely disagree with theist dogma, so I’ve been driven to it… If you can’t join them beat them.

  • Hypatia’s Daughter

    #7

    Make it illegal to make fun of Christopher Hitchens.

    Shouldn’t that be blasphemy? (Which, of course, would be illegal when the state enforces church doctrine.)

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pwwvBygoFA&list=PL54070E64B3BF272B&index=9&feature=plpp_video Anon

    I’m pretty sure you stole most of this from Darkmatter2525. Great job.

  • korteks

    haha snicker ;]

  • Joe Muon

    Awesome, had a good laugh and it makes a great point!

  • eym_sirius

    Require all of the schoolchildren to say, “One nation, subject to the laws of nature – DUH – Indivisible….”

  • Eli

    Awesome!!!

  • Carol

    That really is priceless! I doubt if a christian/religious person would 1) read this, and 2) “get it”. Either way its very funny, and the efforts in writing the 10 easy steps is greatly appreciated!

    • http://www.facebook.com/claire.gostomski.7 Claire Gostomski

      Carol – Actually, I am a Christian, I have read your article, and I understood all the innuendos and clever anamolies perfectly. It’s sad that for many people who label themselves as Christian, these would actually be true. But the people who would do this are NOT following Biblical teachings. I don’t hold that all atheists are spiteful, sneering idiots, but the author of (and commentators upon) this article seem to match at least the first adjective. I really am so very sorry that this is how you view Christians. Do you know any? Any who truly have the relationship with Jesus that we claim?

  • Anon

    It’s funny because this culture has existed. Many of times. And still exists today. Just because you’re treated so ‘unfairly’ in America, you think persecution is funny? Have you ever been tortured for what you believe in? I think not.

  • Tom

    This post seems to owe a pretty large and unacknowledged debt to A.D Song and Mia McKenzie’s “How To Be A Reverse-Racist: An Actual Step by Step List For Oppressing White People”.

    http://blackgirldangerous.tumblr.com/post/25932905078/how-to-be-a-reverse-racist-an-actual-step-by-step-list

  • Matt Gerrans

    All good, except #7 which is a bit weak. Because all the others mirror reality, whereas this one goes a little over the top; instead it could talk about making it a de facto requirement that all marriages be carried out in a temple of atheism, with a priest of Athe presiding over the ceremony. You could also point out that the “definition” of marriage is provided by atheism, as the union of two (or more!) consenting adults, etc.

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  • moe

    lol well that was stupid

  • atheistman

    LOL I see what you did there.

  • Pingback: Criticising Religion – Why Not Let Them Be? « unfebuckinglievable

  • EJDiaz

    Uh… first of all, this is silly. Everybody holds to a worldview or narrative identity that they cannot prove to someone who doesn’t agree. Everybody thinks the world would be a better place if their own view of what is right and wrong with the world were adopted by others. And Christina’s creative, tongue-in-cheek sermon, not to mention the comments of praise from the congregation, only helps me rest my case.

    And secondly, Atheists, like everyone else, are narrow-minded and biggoted enough to get uncomfortably pushy with their ideas at times: “GOOD GRIEF! ATHEIST GROUP DISGRUNTLED WITH ‘A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS” http://www.alliancedefendingfreedom.org/News/PRDetail/7819

    • christinastephens

      How does this post “rest your case” that everybody holds to a worldview they cannot prove, and that the world would be a better place if their worldview were adopted by others?

      … and we don’t have a problem with Charlie Brown Christmas – we have a problem with a public school bussing children to a church to see it, because doing so is a violation of the establishment clause, as Charlie Brown Christmas has a clear and undeniable sectarian message. We’d have the same problem if children were bussed to an atheist meetup group where they were shown an anti-religious documentary. I love anti-religious documentaries. I don’t love government promotion of anti-religious documentaries to public school children.

    • Kodie

      Good Grief! Americans not appalled at constitutional rights being trampled and ignored! Poor baby you can’t see Charlie Brown at school. This is not censorship.

      • Steve Willy

        I think you tacitly know that its time for you to stfu. Search your heart, you know this to be true.

    • Andrew Kohler

      The Alliance Defending Freedom, which formerly had the word salad name Alliance Defense Fund (at least they’ve now specified what they claim to be defending), is a group of reactionary, bigoted cranks who are offended that they can’t make everyone else subscribe to their exact religious philosophy. Only in a novel by George Orwell would this constitute “defending freedom.” Appealing to this organization hurts one’s credibility.

      “We’d have the same problem if children were bussed to an atheist meetup group where they were shown an anti-religious documentary.” Exactly. Any atheist who wouldn’t find fault in taking a class of children in a state-funded school to see, say, Bill Maher’s “Religulous” would be missing the point completely.

  • Just some athiest

    Ha is it me or if you replace all the times it says “athiest” with “Christian” it sound JUST like those dumb deluted hippocratecal and brainwashed Cristians… CHECKMATE!

  • Branden blabla

    Ha is it me or if you replace all the times it says “athiest” with “Christian” it sound JUST like those dumb deluted hippocratecal and brainwashed Cristians… CHECKMATE! /:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/::/:/:/:/:/::/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/://

  • Kara Greeneyes

    Fantastic … more, more, more !!

  • Doug S.
  • Atheists are idiots and retards

    This is the stupidest goddamn article I’ve read in my life.
    Hypocrisy up and down, forcing atheism on people when you claim you hate people forcing their opinions on others… It’s disgusting and despicable.
    I hope you “accidentally” get pushed from a cliff and become paralyzed for life.
    Nobody is forcing religion on you. Unless they’re holding a gun to your head forcing you to convert, nobody is FORCING you to do anything. Yet you claim that forcing people to convert to atheism is perfectly fine. If only to make you happy.
    You’re a disgusting sub-human whore.

    • Kodie

      Are you one of those superior moral theists I keep hearing about? I meant to say, one of those superior moral yet illiterate theists I keep hearing about?

      Push people off cliffs in your delusions, that’s great!

      • Steve Willy

        I think you tacitly know that it’s time for you to stfu. Search your heart, you know it to be true.

    • Glodson

      Let’s play a game. This game is called “Why You Fail Reading Forever.” To play this game, let’s read the opening of the article again.

      We’ve all heard the phrase, “Stop shoving atheism down my throat!” from non-atheists. We’ve also heard, “Stop shoving your religion down my throat!” from others.

      This is a figurative phrase. I means something like, “stop imposing your beliefs on me in a way that is threatening, hostile, oppressive, or inescapable!”

      Well, what if we want to shove atheism down some throats?

      You see, cupcake, we are accused of shoving our atheism down people’s throats by existing. By having a blog. By purchasing the advertising space on billboards and buses. We are already being accused of this. Now this is more a response to that, to that asinine accusation.

      Now, look back over the list. Notice anything about it? Here’s a clue, every time you see an atheist term, substitute a Christian term. You might pick up on it then.

      Oh, who am I kidding? You likely have a hard time finding your ass despite your head residing there. Those are things that Christians regularly do. You see the irony in this? Of course not, you don’t know what that word means. You are trying to blast her for mocking the notion that we shove atheism in the face of the believers when the Christian Crowd is dragging their religious asses up and down our collective faces.

      Now, let’s talk about you.

      Hypocrisy up and down, forcing atheism on people when you claim you hate people forcing their opinions on others… It’s disgusting and despicable.

      Well, this just makes you a moron. Explained above.

      It’s disgusting and despicable.
      I hope you “accidentally” get pushed from a cliff and become paralyzed for life.

      Oh, a threat! How nice. Oh, I know you’ll try to dodge it, but it is a threat. I am amazed you have the capacity to type.

      Nobody is forcing religion on you. Unless they’re holding a gun to your head forcing you to convert, nobody is FORCING you to do anything. Yet you claim that forcing people to convert to atheism is perfectly fine.

      Again, complete failure to understand the article which you just read. Good job! Maybe reflecting more on the culture in which this article is written, and the fact that every single item on this list is already done in the name of Christ, might clue you into what the real message is and how some of us find this humorous. But I guess making threats on the internet takes up too much time for thought.

      You’re a disgusting sub-human whore.

      Says the person making threats. You are a fine example of the religious. I mean it. Self-absorbed, thoughtless, privileged, obtuse and misogynistic with the need to dehumanize those not in your tribe in order to maintain the false sense of moral superiority.

      Way to go, shitlord.

      • Aldous Huxley

        Amen :)

    • Andrew Kohler

      It would be advantageous for the author of this comment to invest in a dictionary look up the words “irony” and “satire.” Equally advantageous would be looking into why calling people “retards” is an excellent way to lose all of one’s own credibility and any claim to basic human decency. Just some friendly advice!

    • christinastephens

      Woa, you’re denser than the business end of a sledgehammer.

      Speaking of despicable, that’s exactly how I would describe your wish that I endure such bodily harm as to leave me paralyzed.

    • Gigi

      If you’re under the impression that comment was thoughtful and provocative, think again. If you’d like to see something disgusting, look in the mirror.

  • Mottfolly

    Behead those who make fun of Christopher Hitchens.

  • Steve Willy
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