If at first you don’t secede…

Let the Republican civil war begin!  After a long campaign season of bleating that the conservative values are those of most Americans, the conservatives got trounced at the polls by…well, most Americans.  Now they want out!

As Mark Turner over at Friendly Atheist reports:

If the signatories of a petition over at the White House website get their way, the Lone Star State will be going it alone. They’re not the only ones, though; the website has been inundated with people starting petitions for their state to secede. Each petition has the magic target of obtaining 25,000 signatures within its first 30 days — at that point, someone from the White House is supposed to give an official response. Texas has already gone way past that, amassing a whopping 68,000 signatures.

Delicious.  Add Arkansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina, and all the usual suspects to that list.  Essentially in all the nations that fought for slavery, a lot of their old values people want to secede again.  Who would have guessed so many people never grew out of the “bang your head against the wall whenever you don’t get your way” stage of dealing with things?

I’m not sure how they’ll all manage, since red states rely more on federal welfare programs.  I’m sure they’ll get around to pulling themselves up by their bootstraps in order to get away from that wicked, welfare-dispensing President and the 47%.

Keith Lowell Jensen had the best tweet about this:



Like I said right after the election…

They have two choices: the first is to move toward the middle and give themselves a chance in the next election.  They could change with society, rather than being dragged along behind it kicking and screaming.

But they won’t do that, at least not immediately.  For many of them, warming up to marriage equality or the fact that marijuana is enjoyable would be tantamount to changing their mind about what their supposedly unchanging god wants, and they can’t have that.  They seem poised to go to their political graves white knuckling the will of an invisible god.  Already there’s talk that Mitt Romney just wasn’t conservative enough.  The Republican party can either return to its roots here or submit to the will of the Tea Party, but the balancing act isn’t working – and it especially won’t work if Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Sarah Palin (remember, Mitt was the best candidate among that group) decide to split the Republican vote by running independent.

It’s clear that the option of going the moderate route is being taken off the table.  Popcorn for my tummy, schadenfreude for my mood.

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