Thoughts on polyamory/marriage at Skepticon 5.

The marriage panel is kind of just pluggin along with the ideas that marriages and relationships are not all governed by standard societal rules (they’re not all monogamous *gasp*).  I’m really wishing they would talk about the usefulness (or lack thereof) of those rules from a rational perspective.  Matt Dillahunty, as usual, is killing it.

So here’s something I want to throw out there:  I don’t care if Michaelyn dates or sleeps with other people.  Yet, we are monogamous.

How does that happen?  Well, she ha the green light to do those things, but she doesn’t.  One day she might.  But what I want is to know that she is with me because she wants to be.  If Michaelyn is with me exclusively because she wants to be, we don’t need rules binding her to me in that way.  If she doesn’t want to be with me in that way, why would I demand she do so?  Love, to me, means wanting someone else to be happy, not just happy in a way that caters to me.

And if I’m to know that she’s with me by choice, I have to allow her other choices.  Knowing that she can date others, but still decideds to be with me, that’s beautiful. It’s honest.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.