Tales from the road 12/8.

Yesterday in the Springfield airport, I emerged from the bathroom to find to police officers standing over my backpack and laptop.

Cop #1:  Is this yours?

Me:  Yes.

Cop#2:  Where were you?

Me:  Pooping.

Cop #2:  You can’t just do that.

Me:  I wiped too.

They were unimpressed with my flippancy and I got a good lecture on how leaving my stuff (after it has already been scanned and re-scanned by the TSA, mind you) is a sure way to get the bomb squad called.  I considered informing them that I’d just finished dropping all the major bombs, but they didn’t seem in the mood and I had work to get done.

The take home is that I’m now the biggest terrorist threat to ever hit Springfield, Missouri.  I didn’t even take my belt off when I went through the metal detector.  My reign of evil knows no bounds.