The Legend of Sir Uncle Bobolink, Mightiest of the Trolls.

Some bloggers just ban trolls who hinder the conversation.  Not I.  If somebody trolls my blog, I edit their comments to amuse myself before adding their new IP to the ban list.

There is a group of sock puppet trolls in the Kansas City area who are, to be perfectly frank, deranged.  They are banned.  However, one of them must have been visiting a friend’s house the other day because he took the opportunity to leave several comments in the Tuesday conversation thread under a couple different names, one of which was “Uncle Bobolink”.

Here is how his comment now appears…

In an age long past, under the gloomy canopy of darkened clouds, there existed a hollow pit into which the most depraved cast their filth.  It was from this hollow grave that Jesus assembled he who would be the mightiest of the trolls: Uncle Bobolink.  From the forge of Mount Dumpster was crafted a set of armor from pure newspaper, the finest in the land.

Clad in these legendary vestments, Bobolink journeyed to the orc city of Reasonsbane.  Bobolink’s parents had left him a small amount of education with which to build his fortune.  But here, in the fires of Reasonsbane, Bobolink sacrificed the remnants of his education at the pinnacle of Mount Prayer for a weapon unlike any other: the mythical sword “Faithbrand”.

With Faithbrand secured within his scabbard (though you can’t tell, because it can be neither seen nor felt, but it’s there and it’s <em>powerful</em>), Bobolink set out to do his master’s will.  Within a fortnight, Bobolink stood before the drawbridge to Castle Eberhard, with nary a consideration for the ample armory beyond its gates.  Bobolink had prepared for this, and soon victory would belong to Bobolink and to his god.  Triumph was the only viable outcome with the implements of his god at his command.

This, is Bobolink’s story…

I like my comment policy.

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.