How do you know he wasn’t Jesus?

This has been floating around the web.  It’s the story of a hitchhiker who saved some people from a man claiming to be Jesus.

The dude, identified only as “Kai,” said a driver who had given him a ride near Fresno began claiming to be Jesus—generally a good time to ask your driver to pull over—and then suddenly rammed into a utility worker standing next to his truck. The driver then got out and started trying to move the injured worker, and became furious when bystanders tried to stop him. “He just kept saying he’s Jesus Christ and he’s going to save all of us,” said one woman who intervened, “but we have to get [African-Americans] off the earth.”

If the attempted vehicular manslaughter hadn’t already proven this wasn’t Jesus, his selective approach to salvation would have pretty much clinched it.

I can’t wait til Schmoyoho gets a hold of this.

So attempted manslaughter proved this guy wasn’t god?  Yeah, because god doesn’t do manslaughter – he does genocide.

How does a Christian read this?  “Who would believe that Jesus would crash a car into someone?  That’s impossible!  Jesus rose from the dead.”

Or “Jesus doesn’t just run his car into black people.  This guy couldn’t possibly have been hearing god’s real voice.  That’s reserved for more sane things like telling Abraham and Jephthah to murder their children.”

If it’s not the proper brand of lunacy, it’s not True Christianity.

  • Glodson

    If he was Jesus, does that make Kai the anti-Christ?

    Hey, where was Jesus’ flaming sword coming out of his mouth?! I’m starting to think you might be right, that wasn’t really Jesus. Isn’t he supposed to look like this? This story isn’t adding up at all.

  • Ken

    I know this man wasn’t Jesus because He already came back as Osama Bin Laden, and the US played the role of the Roman Empire this time.

    http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2012/12/happy-christmas-here-is-a-flam.html

    I don’t expect another appearance for at least another 2000 years. (Because I said so!)

  • Randomfactor

    He only ran into the guy so he could heal him.

    • Glodson

      And he only said “but we have to get [African-Americans] off the earth” because he feels that there should be more [African-American] astronauts. Totally not racist. Like the former head of the “GOP in SC, totally not racists guys.

  • baal

    We need better safety nets in the US.

  • http://www.aramink.com Anne

    Here’s the unedited video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckfBGdZoR_0
    ****NSFW****
    AWESOME

    • Loqi

      I’m betting on this spawning at least two memes and one short-lived reality show.


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