Kansas being dumb. Also blankets being soft.

Not to be outdone by Arkansas, Kansas Republicans are going to show Obama how to really make the economy a priority

The bill would prohibit strip clubs, adult stores and other sexually oriented businesses from locating within 1,000 feet of schools, libraries, public parks, licensed day-care centers and houses of worship.

Yeah, churches have a right to not have stores that help to make sex more fun right next to them.  Vibrators are immoral.

Some critics of the bill said the measure would shut down such businesses and put at least 2,500 Kansans out of work.

But Patton said the bill only imposes “narrow” regulations and prevents sexually oriented businesses — called “SOBs” by the measure’s backers — from clustering in communities.

How’s that free market working out for you, oh party of small government?  Republicans: friend to small businesses…unless they’re doing stuff that offends their religion.  Why the fuck should the church get priority over someone else’s business?  How about this: if you don’t want your church next a sex shop, or a gas station, or a movie theater, or whatever, move it your own damn selves instead of putting people out of work.  Or, even better, don’t open a church next to a sex shop.  Also fuck you.

Here’s what gets me: they want this prohibition because, presumably, sex shops harm communities.  But they’re not saying that sex shops can’t open up, just that they can’t open up next to certain buildings…as though people who visit libraries don’t also like vibrators.  By the GOP’s reasoning, I must be the only one who spends time at libraries and sex shops.  I rule.

If they harm communities, why only dictate where these salacious businesses can operate within communities?  It’s like saying “This could really negatively impact your life if you can see it from the church parking lot, but if it’s next to your home where the kids play in the yard, fuck it.”  Is there any doubt that this is like so many other pieces of GOP legislation: prioritizing trying to impose their archaic sexual standards on everyone…and we’ll get to all that economy stuff later?

You know, if the priority is restricting what harms communities, what about organizations that deprive participating citizens of 10% of their income, occupy land in the city that could be used for businesses or residences, and pay no taxes…all while steering people away from things that make sex more enjoyable?  Get rid of those and we can have more places where sex shops could open.  :)

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.