Love yourself, hate the sinner.

I saw over on the Friendly Atheist that a group of students and parents are holding a makeshift prom at a local church because gays are allowed to go to the one at school.

“We want to make the public see that we love the homosexuals, but we don’t think it’s right nor should it be accepted,” said a local student.

You want to show them that they are loved?  How?  Just what, exactly, have you done to show them that they are loved?  By attempting to create and environment where gay students can abandon any sense of self-respect or integrity and play at being just like you or be ostracized?  It’s pretty fucked up to call that “love”.

Well those gay students are nothing like you, and I’m happy for it.  Unlike you, those LGBT students are not trying to dictate who you love, and what qualities in a mate you should find appealing.  I don’t know if that’s love, but it’s certainly kindness and respect, which is a damn sight more than they’re getting from you.  At the very worst, it’s apathy, which is still more kind treatment than what gay students are receiving.

Diana Medley is a special education teacher at the school who will tell you how much she cares about her gay students.

“Homosexual students come to me with their problems, and I don’t agree with them, but I care about them.”

And then…

“‘Do you think they have a purpose in life?’ No I honestly don’t. Sorry, but I don’t. I don’t understand it. A gay person isn’t going to come up and make some change unless it’s to realize that it was a choice and they’re choosing God,” said Medley.

No purpose in life?  There are lots of reasons to live that don’t include paying lip service to the same god that supposedly thought cancer was a great idea when he was creating the earth.  And you can damn sure have a more noble purpose in life than living by the moral rules of the bible.  If you rank bowing to the moral conclusions of a handful of zealots from the first century over spending time with family, playing video games, holding a loved one’s hand, or even scooping the fucking litterbox, you are missing this whole thing called “life” that is happening all around you.  And if you think that all of those things are meaningless as a purpose for living because only caring about what those same people from the first century wanted you to do with your life can give someone a reason to live, your intelligence is probably rivaled by the contents of said litterbox.

Seriously, I’m sick of Christians putting the most transparent callousness on display and calling it love.  At that dance, there will be students who care deeply for their partners (who happen to be of the same sex) and who care deeply about their partner’s happiness.  That’s what love looks like.  If you want to see a bunch of people who love themselves, whose children are as full of pretension and privilege, and just as shameless about it, as the parents who raised them, all while insisting that this equates to love of others, then go to the other prom.  Just look for the big crucifix.

  • smrnda

    First, there’s this famous homosexual named Alan Turing whose life was certainly far from having no purpose.

    I think the whole thing is that most of us secular folks understand that we can’t simply declare that we love someone and then do it on our terms. If I say that I love someone, whether or not I really do is going to be largely up to them to decide based on how they feel about how I treat them. But for Christians, there’s the love of god which desires most of all that humans should turn themselves into mindless praise-bots without any shred of personality or wills or ideas of their own, and so it’s no wonder their view of ‘love’ is something you do by fiat, on your terms. It’s like saying “I love you so much that you MUST do X,Y,Z to make me happy.” Nobody would call that love.

    • Andrew Kohler

      The title of the musical comedy “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” is perhaps more fitting to this scenario than it is to the musical’s actual subject matter (although I’ve never actually seen it, then again).

      And Alan Turing’s life would have been much better, in fact, without the legal persecution for being gay. The same goes for Oscar Wilde.

  • Randomfactor

    “Just what, exactly, have you done to show them that they are loved?”

    Removing themselves from the “official” prom is a good start. Who wants people like THAT around?

    • Loqi

      Now if they’d just be so kind to remove themselves from society in general.

      • baal

        I rather they changed their minds.

  • Glodson

    A gay person isn’t going to come up and make some change unless it’s to realize that it was a choice and they’re choosing God.

    Oh goddamnit. Being gay isn’t a choice, and furthermore, even if it was a choice, the rules of a bunch of bronze age shepherds don’t have to apply to the here and now. But I can’t blame Medley for all this. Maybe she is a decent person, but her perspective is poisoned by faith. Looking at what she says, I see a person conflicted. She’s told one thing by her religion, but her own emotions seem to be telling her something else. The resulting cognitive dissonance results in stupidity and bigotry. I can’t blame her for those feelings, that is produced by the faith in our culture and her life. But I can blame her for the harm her own stupidity causes. Which it does cause.

    Seriously, I’m sick of Christians putting the most transparent callousness on display and calling it love. At that dance, there will be students who care deeply for their partners (who happen to be of the same sex) and who care deeply about their partner’s happiness. That’s what love looks like. If you want to see a bunch of people who love themselves, whose children are as full of pretension and privilege, and just as shameless about it, as the parents who raised them, all while insisting that this equates to love of others, then go to the other prom. Just look for the big crucifix.

    And the pattern repeats. It is nauseating to see parents teach this hatred to their kids. It is like finding out a neighbor is teaching their kids to be racists.

    • Brad1990

      I sort of agree; you can’t really hate someone for being a product of their environment… but damn, sometimes it’s hard not to.


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