Pat Robertson: Demons may live in your sweater.

This guy…

Quick, get the scientists working on the anti-demon technology immediately.  Yes, tell them to stop working on a cure for cancer – these are demons we’re talking about!

The devil is everywhere in this video.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Glodson

    I’ll worry about the demons in my sweater just as soon as he gets <a href=""rid of all the blood on his diamonds.

  • IslandBrewer

    Hey, all!

    Worried about sweater demons?

    I have a 100% bona fide demon extraction brush! After using this sanctified brush, which I and my team of prayer warriors payed over, I absolutely guarantee that there will be no demons remaining in or on your sweater, although there may be residual cat hair.

    It’s yours for the low low price of $999.95. C’mon, how much is your immortal soul worth to you? It’s a price price to pay for your immortal soul’s safety.

    Sorry, no personal checks.

    • IslandBrewer

      *”prayed over”

      *”small price”

      I get excited by easy money from idiots.

      • IslandBrewer

        “… excited from SAVING SOULS.”

    • Stogoe

      Isn’t “sweater demons” some kind of euphemism?

      • Katherine Lorraine, Tortue du Désert avec un Coupe-Boulon

        No no, that’s sweater puppies.

        • Glodson

          I am sure that to a man like Robertson, Sweater Demons works as well.

          • M

            I have Sweater Imps then :( They just aren’t big enough to be called full demons.

            Yes, yes, I know imps are devils. Shush. Imps are way cooler than dretches.

          • Glodson



            I liked that one. Good job!

          • Stogoe

            The whole Baatezu/Tanar’ri split just feels so arbitrary and ridiculous to me. Growing up as a christian, I always thought that in the christian cosmology there were all sorts of demons, but only one Devil.

            Or maybe it’s just my lingering dislike of the Planescape setting that explains it.

          • Glodson

            I always thought it made sense. Both are evil, that’s true. But the split is over Law and Chaos. Rather than having the goodwill to see the merits in another approach, or allowing the other side to dissent, the two sides are at each other throats. The good sides might not be completely comfortable with each other, but the leaders could at least see how it might benefit them.

            But a lawful evil creature might not be able to coexist with a chaotic evil creature. The lawful evil creature might want to exploit the chaotic evil creature. Unless this creature is much more powerful, or very cunning, it will have a hard time using the creature. On the flip side, a chaotic evil creature seeks to impose its will onto others without regard to oaths. It will happily do what it wants when it wants, which can be an anathema to a lawful evil creature.

            I thought it was a natural progression when there’s two opposed ideas like that in two groups that have little use for good will.

            And you don’t like Planescape? Have you ever tried Planescape: Torment for the pc? It is a great role playing experience, one that is unique and worth a look. Just don’t fuck with the Lady of Pain.

          • Stogoe

            The Lady of Pain is the primary reason I hate the Planescape setting. “Oh, there’s all these planes, and factions, and everything is so awesome, despite all evidence to the contrary, even Sigil, except your party can’t accomplish anything because you’re a PC and not a being with Divine Rank like 90% of everything you’ll ever encounter, and if you try to go off the rails of the metaplot of the setting, even in the slightest, I, the DM get to destroy you, no save, with the Lady of Pain’s instant-kill everything attack.” She’s a crutch for poor worldbuilding, much like Elminster, an in-game beat stick you can thwart your PCs’ creativity with when they decide to put a toe off the predetermined path.
            As for demons/devils, I just don’t see Law and Chaos as an equal axis to Good and Evil in the alignment system. You’ll never see Lawful Good and Lawful Evil join together to fight the forces of Chaos. The Law/Chaos axis is manifestly inferior to the Good/Evil axis, and has no narratively powerful real-world equivalent. Everyone who’s read/listened to a fairy tale understands Good vs Evil, but Jack-Booted Thugs vs Anarchists just doesn’t resonate at the same emotional level. At least not with me.

          • Glodson

            I think of the Good/Evil lines as being the more unrealistic. Evil and Good are a hard thing to argue over. Different people will find different acts evil or good. But the need for order through law, or the idea that laws create problems are often argued over directly.

            It is still flawed and simplistic. I see it like this: Two good character that differ over how valuable law is to people might not like each other, but likely won’t seek to bend the will of the other. A lawful evil character could work with a lawful good character, and vice versa, should their society be threatened by a usurping force. The laws, for both character, would be a means to work together.

            And I always thought the Lady of Pain served as a balancing force. A bad DM can abuse her, but she’s there to keep PC’s who are powerful from just taking over. Or having a story where a powerful figure takes over the multiverse. She is a bit of a contrivance, but she’s got a good purpose. And a good reason why no divine force just invades the Outlands, Sigil in particular, to launch attacks by means of using Sigil as a hub.

          • Stogoe

            I guess. I’m just not enamored of a setting where there’s a giant Stasis Hammer sitting in plain sight, ready for immediate deployment, where everything interesting that could theoretically be accomplished is either a) already done by characters in the novels who are way cooler than you, haha, or b) prohibited by explicit setting threat of the Stasis Hammer. My problems with Planescape are quite similar to my problems with Forgotten Realms. I wouldn’t ever run a game in either setting, but if I was coerced into doing so, I would obliterate the Stasis Hammers by DM fiat prior to campaign start.

            Some of my dislike for Planescape also runs along the same lines of my disinterest in the works of Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, the Walking Dead, and Game of Thrones. People I know are too enthusiastic about them, and so even if I was inclined to give them a shot, I’m already exhausted with the setting/creator due to the constant discussion thereof. It’s like they like those specific works/authors enough for the both of us.

  • baal

    Silly Pat Robertson the demons don’t like to ride clothes, they like to ride Happy Meals and other fast food (’cause it’s fast)! This is why you hear this prayer in restaurants each Sunday:
    Bless us, Oh Lord,
    and these thy demonically invested gifts which
    we are about to receive from thy bounty,
    through Christ, Our Lord.

  • Loqi

    He’d be right if I were wearing a sweater right now.

  • Mogg

    Aw man, they took the video down. And here I was expecting to get a chuckle to go with my morning coffee.

    • Cubist

      NO. you ATHIEST. you KAN NOT HAZ chuckle with coffee. not MORNING coffee, not EVENING coffee, not ANYTIME coffee. ONLY JESUS kan haz chuckle with coffee!

  • Dave77

    We should not make fun of Robertson so readily. It is absolutely true that original owner of any clothing does leave some trace of his or her personality or vibes in the clothes that they wear. So I would definitely would not wear the clothes of a serial killer. However, I am not sure if praying over the clothes will remove those vibes though.

    • M

      You’re … not serious, right?

    • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

      Fun fact! Many of the particles you are currently inhaling were once part of the bodies of serial killers. I do hope you have some way to de-serial-killer them, because those absolutely true vibes must be influencing all of us in… *gasp* absolutely true ways.

      After all, if mere clothing can harbor those insidious vibes, what havoc could a twist of carbon atoms which were once part of a serial killer wreak upon your karma when your body processes and incorporates them into its very structure?