Steve Lavin: corporations are people.

Steve Lavin: would make out with corporations if only they were really people.  Might try anyway.

So the GOP, during the elections, whined and whined about the economy and how they were the ones to fix it (despite being the ones who created the mess in the first place).  So what have they done since then?  A whole lot of abortion and creationism bills.

Steve Lavin, a state Republican in Montana, has broken the trend and introduced a bill that is kind of related to the economy.  The bill would allow corporations, which are apparently people, the right to vote.

Echoing former Massachusetts governor and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s 2011 assertion that “corporations are people, too, my friend,” the law, if enacted, would empower a representative of each company in the district to cast a vote in the company’s interest.

I once had a corporation move in next to me, so I made it some “welcome to the neighborhood” cookies and took them over.  Strangest thing though, the corporation didn’t eat the cookies…the people in the corporation did.  Then they built a house next door on the other side.  I made the house some cookies and took them over but, again, the people inside the house ate them.  The house just kind of sat there being a house, going up in value like real estate tends to do.  If the people in the house don’t get to vote for their house, why do the corporation people get to vote for their corporation?

If corporations are people, why can the corporation not walk down to the ballot office and cast a vote itself?  People don’t just get to start deciding what inanimate objects (or abstract objects) would want if they had, y’know, desires.  Corporations are no more a person than my sofa…which I own.  Can I vote in my sofa’s interest?

Corporations, like families, are made up of people, and the representative who would be voting on behalf of the corporation is already voting in the corporation’s interest when they hit the ballot box.  That person shouldn’t get more say in the government than me just because he runs a corporation and I’m an author.

This legislation would go beyond even the allowances made for corporations and companies to funnel unlimited dark money into elections as per the “Citizens United” decision. Think Progress reported that the bill was tabled by the state legislature almost immediately, so it is unlikely to be voted into law.

Good, but not enough to save Steve Lavin.  He gets to sit in the corner of shame the rest of his political career.  It’s ok though, because he can still be exalted by other Republicans behind the scenes.  And he will be.


Commenter Ken comes in with a metaphorical roundhouse:

I haven’t filed the incorporation papers yet (so my corporation hasn’t technically been born yet and can’t survive on its own), but I have conceived what my corporation will be. I demand a corporate personhood amendment to protect the rights of my corporation!

In fact, I’ve got the beginnings of more then 1000 corporations documented, so I’ll be voting for all of them.

Well played.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.


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