The United Kingdom is dooooooooomed!

Not to be outdone by the French, the United Kingdom is well on their way to inviting god’s wrath…which is still coming to all those other nations that have let adults marry the consenting adult of their choice, just you wait heathens!

The Commons voted in favour of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, by 400 to 175, a majority of 225, at the end of a full day’s debate on the bill.

Prime Minister David Cameron has described the move as “an important step forward” that strengthens society.

Voting lists show that 136 Conservatives opposed the bill.

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg said it beautifully.

“No matter who you are and who you love, we are all equal. Marriage is about love and commitment, and it should no longer be denied to people just because they are gay.”

And the award for dumbest argument to the contrary goes to David Burrowes.

But Conservative MP David Burrowes said: “We do respect the equal value of men and women, but surely that doesn’t avoid us looking and celebrating difference, and marriage is a great way of celebrating the difference between a man and a woman.”

Yeah, different is great…unless you’re different from straight people, then we need some laws in place to make us all the same.  Men are different from women, you see, and that’s why we all need to marry the same way: like we were straight. Ain’t difference grand?

And no lightning struck any government buildings after the vote.  No plague broke out among those who voted for equality.  But sometime down the road, long after the fact, something bad will happen like a tornado.  It will harm Christians and atheists, pro-gay rights people and anti-gay rights people, and Christians will point out how god is punishing “us” for allowing this wicked perversion, as if natural disasters never occurred beforehand.

That’s all they have.  There is no rational reason to maintain our discrimination against LGBT people.  It’s particularly sad when you realize that there never was.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Glodson

    I’m going to sing the doom song now.

    “We do respect the equal value of men and women, but surely that doesn’t avoid us looking and celebrating difference, and marriage is a great way of celebrating the difference between a man and a woman.”

    Great, so my marriage is just a way of celebrating “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.” Funny, I always thought it was a celebration and expression of the love we have for each other. And I considered myself lucky that by virtue of our respective sexual orientations that we are allowed to publicly share that. In fact, I think that’s so awesome, I would like for people of all sexual orientations to be able to do the same. But what do I know?

    • Andrew Kohler

      Yes, let’s celebrate the fact that men and women have different privates! I used to keep a wall of shame of idiotic homophobic comments when I worked for an LGBT rights group, but it was just impossible to keep track of such a voluminous mass of putrefaction. But, I’d say this non-argument from David Burrowes is in the stupider 50%. Well, I dunno: he has some VERY steep competition.

      So yeah, on the whole men and women often have different traits (and how much of that is the result of social conditioning I can’t pretend to know, but it’s certainly something to bear in mind), but that’s just a fact of life, rather than something worth celebrating. What, should we celebrate the fact that some people have different hair colors? Plus, everyone is a composite of “masculine” and “feminine” characteristics (i.e. characteristics generally associated with one gender of the other, not necessarily inherently so). What we should be doing is accepting that everyone has a unique expression of gender (including transgender and intersex persons, of course) and respecting this.

      When this dude says “celebrating the difference between men and women,” of course, what he means is enforcing rigidly defined gender roles which probably work just fine for plenty of people but which do not work well at all for many others, and have caused endless suffering for gay people, for transgender people, for intersex people, for women who don’t want to be kept as chattel, for men who don’t want to be emotionally repressed insensitive jerks, for women who want to play in top-notch European orchestras, for boys who want to play with dolls, for transvestites…you get the drift. It is very telling the David Burroweses (damn near impossible to make a plural for that name) of the world see people like those described in the previous sentence and feel their manhood threatened, or for their female counterparts I guess it’s a threat to the patriarchal structure which they are desperate to uphold while at the same time being power-hungry, loudmouth public figures, which strikes me as rather unladylike (Phyllis Schlafy, Ann Coulter, Beverly LaHaye and the Concerned Women for America, One Million Moms, etc). If you feel your well-being threatened by other people living their lives as they see fit for themselves, you need to reevaluate your life and leave the rest of us the hell alone. Is that really too much to ask? Really?

      • baal

        “Burroweses” say it like gollum does “bagginsesses”.

  • baal

    My first thought on reading the title is that the UK must have followed the French news of allowing marriage equality (or similar). ’cause that just what comes to mind with over the top doomy dooom doom.

    My second thought is this.

    • Glodson

      Ha! I beat you to the punch!

      The Big Brain am winning again. I am the greetest! Now I am leaving Earth for no raeson!

      • baal

        I was kind of hoping the next commenter along would also post Gir so I wouldn’t look like as much as idiot (dangling Azkyroth bait).

    • M

      Huh, first thought that came to my mind was

      This is SO NSWF, btw. It also has a bit of language …

  • mywall

    “But sometime down the road, long after the fact, something bad will happen like a tornado.”
    Urrm, sorry to nit pick but british weather kindof doesn’t do that. Our supernatural doom will most likely come in the form of the weather gods trying to bore us to death.

    • Andrew Kohler

      Haven’t their already been floods in Britain attributed to The Gay? Christopher Hitchens noted that God should have hit certain parts of London instead of wherever it really was, sort of like how he missed the French Quartet with Hurricane Katrina. What an incompetent smiter!

      • Andrew Kohler

        *Haven’t there. That is REALLY embarrassing.

    • Crimbly

      It is strange that commenting wanly on the weather was my first intention after reading this article – only to be beaten to the punch. :D

      Teh Gheys will cause months of overcast skies, aka. February/March.

  • David Hart

    I’m pretty sure this isn’t the whole of the UK, it’s just England and Wales. The Scottish government is keen to do the same, but hasn’t got to it yet, and I’m not sure where Northern Ireland (the most religious part of the UK, as it happens) stands on the question, but, as the last part of the UK to decriminalise homosexuality (in 1982), I won’t be suprised if they also lag on the marriage equality front.

  • Brad1990

    It’s not legal yet, it hasn’t passed the House of Lords. But I’m confident it will, there’ll be a massive public backlash if it doesn’t.

  • Steve

    Don’t forget Colombia. Unless the legislature acts first a previous court decision will automatically legalize same-sex marriage late June