Father responds to Cindy.

My father was in yet another debate on his facebook wall, this time with a person named Cindy who left the following.

I debate because you are so freakin arrogant and into yourselves that it’s just too funny and I like throwing you a curve! In short, it amuses me.

Father responded:

Why, you incredibly clever little joker you! I am so impressed that you don’t debate to seek truth, understanding, greater knowledge, or to explore the current events of our time, but instead just to be mean to us to teach us a sharp lesson. Wow, you sure had me fooled, and it was so easy for you. I am absolutely convinced that you are far too sly and devious for me to have ever caught on to your subterfuges, and I thank my lucky stars you have told me.

Fortunately in the future, I now will know enough to point out that I know you are “Just messing with you because you’re arrogant!” instead of trying—and failing–to offer intelligent arguments. Thanks for the heads up.

Thank you for judging me, for determining yourself the arbiter of my sentence, and for the labels that come trippingly off your keyboard such as “smug’ and “arrogant”. Your sweet Christian love and tolerance is shining so brightly I should wear shades. You accuse me of intolerance, but I’ll guarantee I’m not a hypocrite who espouses that I am both tolerant and loving, and then fails to make an effort to live up to it.

I just cannot find the words to describe how much I respect your intellectual honesty here, so I won’t even try. Just know that some day I hope to have learned enough from your example to judge someone to be, oh, say, dumb as a stump, and to try to jerk them around because I have decided that they deserve it and that is the best way to change their mind……because I love them so much.

Have a nice day.

“Have a nice day” in this case read an awful lot like how I imagine Cindy uses “I’ll pray for you.”

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Erülóra

    I need more stuff like this in my Facebook news feed.

  • http://smingleigh.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Not thinking the owner of the universe is your best friend forever? Such arrogance.

  • Jasper

    I approve of the sarcasm.

  • Adam

    I had the same thing happen to me on facebook not too long ago. My response was similar to your dad’s.

  • http://blog.IAmDanMarshall.com Dan Marshall

    Haha your dad is awesome.

  • invivoMark

    The snark is strong with this one.

  • baal

    “I debate because you are so freakin arrogant and into yourselves that it’s just too funny and I like throwing you a curve! In short, it amuses me.”
    TL;DR “I am a troll.”

    • baal

      While I’m on definitions, a fraud is a credible lie you tell in order to control someone or to take something from some one else. The shame is on the fraudster and not the credulous person. This is not to be confused with incredible lies where the teller is a fool and the believer, credulous (and often deluded).

  • kagekiri

    In a battle of wits, Cindy was obviously unarmed, and unfortunately unconscious of her incompetence.

    Challenging a master of biting sarcasm and dead-accurate rationality was obviously just the latest of her mistakes.

    If she had something to offer, or even some basically good motivation besides “I like to troll insincerely for my own pleasure” that’s apparently being attempted as an excuse for running from the argument (and an incredibly weak-sauce excuse at that), I might feel sorry for her. As it is, though, it’s pretty hilarious to read her being systematically and thoroughly demolished.

  • Silent Service

    Can I friend your dad on facebook? He’s too cool.