I’m now a target for believers

Christina here…

Some atheists just want to religious believers to leave them alone.

Not me, I like talking with religious people!

I’m discovering that I might have a handy device which will cause believers to stop me in the streets or in grocery stores to talk to me – a metaphorical neon sign over my head screaming, “Religious people, come preach at me, I’m your perfect target!”

Yep… my lack-of-a-left-foot.

The first time this happened, it was a friend. A week before my scheduled surgery, he told me Jesus would heal my foot, and when he did, I’d have incontrovertible evidence of Jesus being real.

My friend asked me to pray a sincere prayer to Jesus right then and there, asking me to heal my foot. I did. However, I also told my friend that I wasn’t going to put off my surgery to wait for a miracle. Needless to say, my foot only got worse.*

The second time this happened was tonight, down at the Walgreens a few blocks from my house. I was wheeling past a lady when she met my eyes and said, “good evening!” I said, “Well, good evening to you, fancy night, isn’t it?”

She proceeded to preach at me for about ten minutes. My neighbor friend who works there in the cosmetics department (man, he always has the best eyeshadows on) even stopped to say hi and practically handed me a get-out-of-conversation card, but I actually enjoyed all of the many things she told me. Here’s a quick summary:

1. She was cured of muscular dystrophy as an adult because of her belief in Jesus.

2. Jesus has the power to grow my foot back, and since she has seen so many miracles like that happen, she believes he will grow my foot back too.

3. Back when she was a young’n, she was a student in biology. However, one day she got struck by lightning, felt warmth in her wrist three times, so took that as a sign that Jesus didn’t want her to be a biologist.

I told her I’d be glad to believe in some kind of higher deity if my leg grew back. Trouble is, which one? I’d have to make sure it wasn’t Allah or Zeus who grew it back. I assume they are probably all in a race to have me hang out with them in the afterlife.

*Hey wait.. isn’t this evidence against Jesus? or maybe Allah wanted to heal my whole foot after it had been amputated and figured he’d have a bigger party if he interfered with Jesus’ attempts to heal it while it was still attached. Or perhaps Zeus actually already healed my foot, he just healed while it sat in some medical waste container somewhere, already cut off of me? You can’t prove it didn’t happen!

Learn more about Christina and follow her @ziztur.

 

 

About christinastephens
  • joe

    I’m thinking of emailing my christian sister, whom I love very much, a different misogynistic bible quote a couple times a week. For several weeks. Like a reverse of what you experienced here, Christina. Does that make a minor asshole, a medium-sized asshole, or a world-class haughty fuckwad? I still want to reverse-proselytize so bad I can taste it….

  • Glodson

    Maybe it would work better with a nice hymn.

    1. She was cured of muscular dystrophy as an adult because of her belief in Jesus.

    Does Jesus have a waiting list? What about all those kids that I know directly that have cancer and who will die well before adulthood?

  • http://www.godlessteens.com Godless Teen

    All I can say to them is:

    Fuck off.

  • Rebecca Hensler

    Yeah, one of the few reasons to appreciate my MS being invisible to the casual viewer. No one comes up to me and tries to re-myelinate my axons with prayer.

    • christinastephens

      Maybe that is what Jebus can do for me. I have a lot of phantom nerve pain from wallerian degeneration that would go away if my nerves decided re-myelinate themselves. Luckily, they sort of do that on their own sometimes.

    • iknklast

      Yeah, diabetes doesn’t show either (until you lose a limb). So I’m spared most of the time (not that I have diabetes, but a few elevated blood sugars would be adequate, as it means I am at risk for diabetes in the near future if something doesn’t change. A perfect chance for god(s) to prove to me he/she/it is real, right?). Christina, if your foot heals, how will you know it isn’t because you ate a plate of spaghetti, which pleased Flying Spaghetti Monster so much he touched you with his noodly appendage?

      • WCLPeter

        That’s okay. One day Team Science is going to figure out a way to use Stem Cells to regrow lost limbs (or a new pancreas for us Diabetics out there – I miss the Mega Xtreme Super Giganto Chocolate Blizzard) and some Religious Nutter is going to totally have God take credit for it.

  • http://pcyandel.wordpress.com/ Phil Y

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZeWPScnolo

    I just love Tim Minchin. This is his “Thank You, God” song

    • Artor

      Thank you. I was going to look up a link for that, but you beat me to it. Minchin is more awesome than God.

  • Aarthi

    Now I’m imagining Zeus, Allah, and Jesus fighting over your toes! >_<

  • AnyBeth

    I don’t know if I’m just lucky or what. I’m not yet 30 and I’ve used either a walker or a wheelchair every time I’ve been out in public for around 7 years and more often than not for 2 before that. I’ve had strangers approach me with quack “cures”, but not with meaningfully direct religious talk on account of my visible disability (though I may have stopped one person before they got to it). Blind boyfriend in equally-religious region has had more religious-disability confrontation than that.
    I did get it from a school acquaintance (we’d done a project together) around the time of my diagnosis. I was Christian then, but I’m not sure if it makes it better or worse, being told that if you’d only pray right, you’d be healed. I dressed him down for the suggestion; I’d had plenty enough of that stuff being religious and mentally ill.
    It’s kind of a pity, really, that believers don’t target me because I’ve had a really good response for a fair while: the same disease that causes me trouble on my feet also directly caused my atheism. You know how some people with brain damage suddenly get religious (or much more religious than they were)? I’m the reverse consequence. If a god has any control over my disease, that god must want me to be an atheist. And I like to remind believers that they could have the disease I do, but just not know it yet. And that it’s entirely possible for this to be the first symptom. The most devout believer could be an atheist tomorrow, just like it went for me. Somehow, these things tend to break Christians’ pat lines. I’m suddenly a special case and one that makes them plenty nervous. I can understand that, but I still think it’s funny. Bit of a pity I haven’t gotten to use it in person.

  • Pingback: Strangers, Religion, and the Perils of “Live and Let Live.” | The Questionable Authority

  • unbound

    I’m actually a bit intrigued by the woman who thought that Jesus might grow your foot back. Does she think this has ever happened?

    Also would be interesting to know if she only felt warmth in her wrist 2 times, would that still have been enough to not become a biologist?

    I agree that the believers are rather interesting people. Then again, talking to drunks or drug users is pretty similar in my experience.

    • http://smingleigh.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

      Man, those wacky gods. Remember when Zeus would meddle in mortal affairs by turning into a swan to impregnate a woman? Striking someone with lightning to make their wrist throb to send a message is positively mundane by comparison.

      Actually, considering which god we’re talking about, we’re probably just lucky He didn’t kill the every firstborn son in the land to get her to change her evil biologizing ways.

      • Glodson

        Don’t forget the Golden Shower for Perseus’ momma.

        • http://smingleigh.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

          Good times, good times.

  • TGAP Dad

    I think you should write a memoir about the loss of your foot. May I be the first to recommend the title “My Foot Left.”

    • http://smingleigh.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

      It was the best of puns, it was the worst of puns.

    • christinastephens

      I like it!

  • invivoMark

    “However, one day she got struck by lightning, felt warmth in her wrist three times, so took that as a sign that Jesus didn’t want her to be a biologist.”

    Man, that totally makes sense. Being a biologist is the best way there is to become an atheist. It makes sense that Jesus wouldn’t want one of his devout followers to go down that path.

  • Mia

    I am a Christian, and I have CP. I have to say, I totally agree with you here, it is really annoying when people come up to me and ask to pray over my legs, or tell me to pour holy water on them, or question my faith because of my disability, etc. I believe in God because I believe I am what I am for reason, I believe that I am made in the image of God exactly as I am. You certainly do not have to agree with me on that, and I am not going to sit here and try to convince you. I just wanted to say that even as a religious person, I experience this, so I totally feel where you’re coming from. Honestly, it’s actually one of the main reasons why I’m not too big on trying to convert people, because most of the time, unless you are willing to approach it as a dialogue, and really hear what the other person has to say, you just look like a jerk and prove that person’s stereotypes about religion and religious people correct.

  • Edmond

    Now, why would Jesus bother healing your foot, when he went to all the trouble of screwing it up in the first place?

  • Silent Service

    Hey Christiana,

    The next time somebody suggests praying over your foot to grow it back look shocked at them and tell them, “Why would I do that? My foot is in heaven with Jesus. What kind of selfish prick would I be to take that glory away from my foot?” The look on their face should be priceless.

  • Hilton

    Jesus is your lover! :P

    You might find this website rather pertinent now: http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/

    Be well!


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