Pat Robertson doesn’t want you to play D&D


As best I can tell, my Magic: The Gathering habit is also a problem.

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You can find me on twitter, @DrDavidBurger

About doctorburger
  • Jeff

    Wow, fresh out of 1982!

  • Gwynnyd

    Flee from evil! Into the steam tunnels! Quick!

    • Sophia Lane

      Well now in DDO you fled into the steam tunnels multiple times willingly at least back in the early years when you had to complete it to have access to the Marketplace and Houses and the rares were cool enough to get them all. Like Delaras tomb series.

  • IslandBrewer

    Pathfinder is ok, though, right?

    And by flee from evil, I’m pretty sure he just means the 4ed rules.

    • Sophia

      More like 3rd Edition

    • Stogoe

      Don’t lets get into that again.

  • Glodson
  • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Pat Robertson dislikes a book filled with rules, magic, miracles, and violence. Too much competition?

    • Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

      What am I saying? I was being snarky, but he’d say, with absolute sincerity, “Exactly!”.

      • Silent Service

        You are officially a master Poe. Congratulations.

  • Michael Busch

    Perhaps he heard that Stephen Colbert plays?

  • Epinephrine

    Pat Robertson can choke on a bag of d20s. And hey, don’t knock 4e. I prefer it to 3.5 and Pathfinder. GURPS is more flexible, but 4e does heroic combat pretty well.

    • IslandBrewer

      HERETIC! You should be burned at the stake!

      But yes, 3.5 was kind of excruciating.

      • M

        I liked 3.5, and there are parts I still miss. There’s parts I’m glad are gone too, of course. But I definitely didn’t find it excruciating :).

        I like 4e for a good tactical minis game, with (and against) tactical players. It does do heroic combat well. I just didn’t particularly like it as an RPG.

        • Sophia

          4th edition is the RPG extension of DnD minis. It does limit role playing but it could be worse, say Skills and Powers bad. May as well play a pre-rolled character in tha aweful universe.

        • Michael Busch

          I preferred 3.5e to 4e, but that’s probably in part because I haven’t played 4e since just after the first three books came out and that meant none of the interesting settings were available.
          I prefer Mage: The Ascension for fantasy RPG, in part because of the easier rules and in part because the Old World of Darkness was so well-developed.

          • Stogoe

            Ok, now I’ll start the New WoD vs Old WoD war. Old WoD was a bunch of separate game lines that each had their own internal rules, and those rules interacted poorly with other splats if you wanted to run a shared universe. Eventually the publisher just assumed the shared universe existed and the whole damn thing turned into a hot crazy mess. Just like DC. Lots of fun memories about playing old WoD, though I much prefer the fixed target number of NWoD to the Storyteller’s Whim Target Number of OWoD. Just a lot quicker to figure out which dice are successes.

          • Stogoe

            3.5 was better than 3.0, definitely.

          • Stogoe

            But I do love WoD, if only because I can call for a Stamina + Academics roll and not have it seem weird.

          • Michael Busch

            I haven’t played the New WoD line, so I can’t speak to how well the different lines interact. For the Old WoD, I prefer Mage to Vampire (I didn’t like the “you are a monster” line) but can’t speak to all of the others.

          • Stogoe

            I only played Mage and Changeling in OWoD, though in changeling I did play a “she” satyr instead of the “sidhe” the GM recommended. Yay Phonemes! I think in that game there were mages, mummies, sluagh, and tzimisce fleshcrafters, but no gaia-worshipping werewolves.

    • Brian Fields

      I miss second edition. But then, I’m old school. THAC0 or GTFO.

      • Sophia Lane

        2nd Ed was good as long as you throw Skills and Powers in the fireplace.

        • Brian Fields

          Yeah, I never bothered with it.

      • Silent Service

        I am officially getting off your lawn. :)

    • Hertzey

      Thank you Epinephrine! I am not the only one out there! and yes, you can have long interesting campaign with 4th ed with lots of role playing. My group has one long campaign, a campaign in the world of the first and mine. I find its more about the DM/storyteller then what the rules are.

      Also Pat needs to be sent to the Underdark and learn a nice long lesson about evil from the Drow. Normally I would go with Mind Flayers, but I don’t think any of them would touch something so stupid.

    • Jayn

      Why d20s? I’d feed him d4s–they’re pointier.

      (Guys like this are why I’m always horribly amused when we visit our friends the pastor and his wife for a DnD session)

  • M

    And next up, the risk of Soviet invasion!

    Seriously, the man is fine with the Bible, but he finds heroic story-telling problematic?

    • Sophia Lane

      Umm he Soviets already invaded. Did you not see the original Red Dawn?

  • Rikitiki

    So, which pantheon in “Deities & Demigods” does he follow?
    I’m thinking Melnibonian.
    But I’m safe, I play C & C these days.

    • M

      From the Greyhawk pantheon, I’d say he follows Pholtus. Bandit Kingdoms folk picked Iuzians (CE) over Pholtan paladins (LG), because the Iuzians did less evil things to people.

  • kenneth

    When you start re-launching 30 year old campaigns that weren’t interesting the first time around, it’s a sign of either dementia or an utter lack of imagination to produce any fresh bullshit. Quite possible both in Robertson’s case.

  • Loqi

    Pat is just mad because he sucks at LoL.

  • Sophia Lane

    JESUS SAVES!…………………….and only takes half damage.

    • Cobalt

      My Rogue Saves!….. And takes no damage because of his Evasion.

      Rogues, now better than Jesus!

      • Stogoe

        I preferred Mettle – like Evasion, but for both Fort AND Will.

    • Michael Busch

      But does he have damage reduction?

      • Cobalt

        DR 5/cold iron nails

  • Sophia Lane

    DnD had it’s flaws regardless of revision. For me I wanted to integrate other games into the world with thier rules. Hand to Hand Combat- Top Secret had great rules for that. I also felt the method for magic usage in Shadowrun ( 1st Ed. not sure if 2nd ed was different) was very creative. I was able to use a method of that with a Wild Mage where my daily spell levels were based on my Constitution. I could invent a spell based on my Intelligence or Wisdom and basically had a difficulty roll . I could cast beyond those stats with an automatic wild spell result. If any of you have ever seen the Wild Spell “oops” list it is simply ridiculous. Huge, dangerous and ohh so fun!

  • AJ

    Do we need any more evidence that “conservatives” are Regressive? He’s taking us back to the early 80s, fer crying out loud!

  • dorcheat

    Robertson is over thirty years behind the times. Then again, I remember Christian fundementalists bitching about D & D when it first came out say about 1980 or so.

  • unbound

    As a player of D&D back when it was the fundies favorite target in the 80s, I can definitely say that my life was absolutely wrecked as I was pulled into Satan’s ways, killing real people by the hundreds, and sacrificing babies at least weekly in pagan rituals.

    Oops…had a CNN moment there.

    Sorry Pat, but after years of D&D (actually AD&D when I played), I’m actually a very successful adult, married with 3 children, no criminal record and actually provide far more support of my local community than the vast majority of local christians. As for all the other people I played with as a kid, none of them are criminals and all of them live satisfying lives.

  • John Horstman

    JT, I had no idea you played M:TG. If I ever manage to make it to a convention at which you’re going to be, I’m going to make sure to dig one of my old decks out of retirement and bring it. Maybe I’ll even try to build a fancy new one around a theme of blasphemy or something. :-)

    • Nate Frein

      I don’t know that JT doesn’t play M:TG…but this post is by Dr. Burger.

      • doctorburger

        JT does play, just not nearly to the extent that I do.

        If you watch twitter before some very large conferences, sometimes there’s a few of us who will try to organize a MTG game; we did for the ReasonRally in DC.

        • baal

          I’m a bit of an overweening rules weenie but love MTG for it. Also, if anyone pulls out a blue/white deck I know I can safe myself the effort of getting to know them. I like to play green/black weenie critters decks.

          • M

            Seriously, fuck UW control decks!

  • baal

    What year is this? You know Pat that magic is not real and can do exactly nothing outside of folks imagination?

  • Shane

    Well crap, there goes SW:TOR, ShadowRun, and the other ‘evil’ things that I play too. Oh well, I’ll see you in Hell JT.

    • Shane

      Oops, meant Doctorburger,