Allie at Hyperbole and a Half returns.

Allie of Hyperbole and a Half has put up her first post in a very long time.  It’s about living with depression and the miasma that precedes not wanting to live anymore.  Just like the rest of her work, is beautiful.  Her experience pretty much mirrors my own.

And every direction was bullshit for a really long time, especially up. The absurdity of working so hard to continue doing something you don’t like can be overwhelming. And the longer it takes to feel different, the more it starts to seem like everything might actually be hopeless bullshit.

The end is happy.  It’s not a fully happy ending, and it may only be a temporary reprieve, but when depression is taking the joy out of everything, it can be a huge turning point when making web cartoons or fighting religion, or whatever once happily occupied much of your time, becomes fun again.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • ModVAVet

    SO long. I missed her a lot :) I hope she’s doing better!

  • http://twitter.com/andybeals Andy Beals

    For those of you playing along at home, here are the three relevant posts in order:

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/pre-post-transition-post.html

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

    Frankly, it’s a shock to see her return to the webcomix thing. So many of them just abruptly stop and I can’t recall any that have returned to what used to be their (semi?) regular schedule.

  • Aliasalpha

    Having flicked through the comments on her post, it feels rather redundant to say “this describes me so accurately” but fuck if its not familiar. I’ll have to keep an eye out for my own bit of corn

    Good to hear she’s doing a bit better, I’ll have to re-bookmark the site

  • Claire Gilder

    I was just talking to my therapist about this yesterday. And then Allie comes along and makes it much more eloquently. It’s so fucking hard to wake up and decide to do really hard WORK when it feels like it would be so much easier to just die. I had an ugly relapse a couple weeks ago after several months of being “normal” and UGH. The worst part was the sinking feeling of looking forward through the next decades of my life and realizing I’m going to have to keep doing all this work just to be remotely functional. So unfair, and so hard to deal with when you’re already unable to get out of bed.

    So. In conclusion. Allie is amazing and I’m so glad she’s posting.

  • SansDeus

    Thanks for the post. I wasn’t familiar with her work.

    I’ll definitely share it. Especially with my wife who thankfully tries by reminding me of how great everything in our life is. The problem though is that I do recognize how good things are! Unfortunately feeling anything gets tough when the apathy glass is overflowing and each sip leaves everything tasteless. When that happens, the lure of nothingness resembles an angler fish starving for my complacency.

    The post also made me realize it’s about time I got some help.

  • Little Magpie

    I am glad to see her come back, too. The depression posts are soooo accurate, but I also really love her other stuff too. :)

  • http://twitter.com/HeatherLynn117 Heather Dawn Lynn

    I used it to explain my anxiety to my bf. Instead of a lack of emotions, anxiety is feeling ALL THE EMOTIONS — even when those emotions aren’t appropriate. The part about how she had problems gauging what emotions she *should* have is very real to me.


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