Allie of Hyperbole and a Half has put up her first post in a very long time. It’s about living with depression and the miasma that precedes not wanting to live anymore. Just like the rest of her work, is beautiful. Her experience pretty much mirrors my own.
And every direction was bullshit for a really long time, especially up. The absurdity of working so hard to continue doing something you don’t like can be overwhelming. And the longer it takes to feel different, the more it starts to seem like everything might actually be hopeless bullshit.
The end is happy. It’s not a fully happy ending, and it may only be a temporary reprieve, but when depression is taking the joy out of everything, it can be a huge turning point when making web cartoons or fighting religion, or whatever once happily occupied much of your time, becomes fun again.