How cool roommates resolve conflict.

I had left one of my cereal bowls in the kitchen sink and forgotten about it (I normally do all my dishes as I use them, it turns out that’s easier).  This bowl sat there for days and this morning I walked out to find a note next to the sink asking me to wash my bowl.

I fucking hate notes.  So even though this note was fair, it still drove me nuts.  So I texted Cambridge asking her to just talk to me next time.  She responded…

Yes.  Or would you also consider a bloody hand print on your window?  Too enigmatic?

I wrote back and told her that the hand print would at least give me an outlet for profit because I could write about it.  This was at about 11am.

About ten minutes ago, long after I had forgotten about this exchange, there was a very loud “thunk” on my window that caused me to leap out of my chair and to shit my pants before I had landed back in it.  I looked up to see…

So let that be a lesson kids: good roommates resolve conflicts with blood.

I know the most awesome people.  I’ll miss the shit out of her when I move away.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.

  • Zinc Avenger

    You’ll also miss the blood out of her, by the looks of things.

  • Cymagen

    Get some disposable bowls next time.

  • islandbrewer

    JT, buddy, be extra super fucking nice to your roommate, please. She’s a mortician, right? She has free and easy access to various body parts that could, hypothetically, wind up in your bed? Not that she would, of course.

    *uncomfortable silence followed by a cough*

    And she also knows how to dispose of a body, I’ll bet.

  • Michael W Busch

    I take some reassurance in that being fake, rather than real, blood. It is fake, isn’t it?

    • baal

      Well, real blood when fresh and exposed to air is fairly bright re….
      Yes, it’s totally fake!

  • Ted Thompson

    Super cute with a wicked sense of humor. Watch your step buddy. That brand o gal is dangerous.

  • Rain

    I would have said the hell with it and done it myself. Actually that’s what I do in real life anyway. Do they take advantage of me? Why yes they do. Sadly I don’t care, lol.

    • amycas

      That happens to me too with the dishes, but that’s ok, because I ignore laundry and he ends up doing that.

  • Dennis Blankenship

    I’m sorry, I was distracted. You left a dirty cereal bowl in the sink for… DAYS???
    I’m assuming that you only have one kitchen, with only one sink, yet you thought it would be reasonable to leave your dirty dishes in there for days? You were so busy that you couldn’t spare the five seconds to rinse it? That’s actually kind of gross, and I think the note, in all its passive-aggressive glory, was a measure showing great restraint.

    Judging by your recent posts, maybe you could spend a little less time on gaming, and a little more on housekeeping. And yes, I have these same conversations with my kids.

    • Nate Frein

      Depends on how you define “dirty”. Rinsed doesn’t mean “clean”, it just means “rinsed”.

      Your whole comment is presumptive, relying on information that simply was not provided in the original post. That you relate your children to JT simply shows more about how you regard JT than it does anything that JT did.

      • Dennis Blankenship

        I assumed the next step after “rinse” would be “place in the dishwasher.” And FWIW, has nothing to do with how I regard JT. It is unquestionably gross, especially since we’re talking days. Plural. Of at least one dirty dish sitting in the sink, fermenting, attracting bugs, and in the way. I mean, isn’t someone preparing meals and cleaning during this time, both of which would use the sink? Yuck!

        • islandbrewer

          Oh now, I’m sure a rinsed bowl would have a minimal amount of any accessible carbon for any mold or bacteria to feed on. And since it was out in the open, any fermentation would have to be aerobic fermentation, which is much less stinky and toxic than anaerobic fermentation.

          Aaand, if he left it long enough, the bowl will have gone through several cycles of drying out and rehydrating that any ambient bacteria or molds would have reached some sort of balance in a harmonious ecosystem, which YOU then want to destroy, Mr. Microenvironment Destroyer!

          • Zinc Avenger

            Washing the bowl hastens the heat death of the universe.

        • Nate Frein

          First, you’re assuming he has a dishwasher.


          You were so busy that you couldn’t spare the five seconds to rinse it?

          There’s no reason to assume he didn’t rinse it.

          And yes, I have these same conversations with my kids.

          The only reason to consider this statement germane is if you are saying JT deserves to be treated by you like you treat your children.

        • Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

          The dirty dishes on my counter and in my sink are numbered in weeks, not days.
          But I joyously live alone, and don’t have to listen to anyone complain
          about it. Maybe I’ll get to them some time in July, maybe not. I think its hilarious how much that bugs some people.

    • Guest

      I think that’s the grownup reaction. I felt it too.

  • amycas

    I’m not a very tidy person, and I don’t mind cleaning up after my own mess (or a child’s mess if I’m responsible for them at the moment). But I hate cleaning up after a roommate/significant other. If I leave my bowl out over night, oh well, I’m not annoyed, but if he does it and then expects me to clean it, then I get annoyed. I just left his dishes that he didn’t clean for a week, sitting in the sink. All of my dishes (including the ones I use to cook, yes, I do the cooking too) were cleaned, maybe a couple had sat out over night but I washed them first thing the next day. He came home complaining that the apartment smelled funny. I told him, of course it smells funny, all your dirty dishes are piled up in the sink.

    • amycas

      update: two nights ago I made tacos with rice. When he was finished eating he placed his plate in the sink (w/o rinsing it off) and then told me triumphantly “I put my plate away!” I glanced at the sink and then glared at him and said,”Is it rinsed off and in the dishwasher?” He said,”Uh, no.” Me: “Then it’s not put away.” I again washed my dishes and ignored his.

  • Alice

    I hate notes too. It just smacks of cowardice and passive-aggressiveness, even if they didn’t necessarily intend that. If you actually bother to talk to people, they almost always react better. My roommate once left a really angry note because I had used a tiny bit of her dishwasher detergent, which was an accident because the bottle she had bought was identical to mine.
    Another roommate got angry at me several times because she had suddenly changed /several/ of the long-standing apartment rules without telling me. It’s better for both parties to communicate rules in advance when possible and discuss disagreements in person.