Is this a thing now?


Is sending poorly written Facebook spam the new hot tech in evangelism? Do any of you get this kind of thing?

Is there a more appropriate response here?


You can send me poorly written spam on twitter too! @DrDavidBurger

About doctorburger
  • islandbrewer

    I can’t even get to the point where I’d provide a cogent answer to that. I’d be red-lining the entire thing for grammar and request he repost.

    • Jasper

      “Invalid Syntax or Command Name” comes to mind.

      • phantomreader42

        Out of cheese error. Redo from start.

  • baal

    Grammar seems beside the point when witnessing. I suspect that bad grammar is even an asset for witnessing as it’s meant as a costly in group signal and being mocked for additional reasons just ups the cost (and thus strength of the signal of group identity).

  • Loqi

    So they’ve adopted the tactics of MMO gold-buying websites…

    • islandbrewer

      Convert to Islam, and get an extra 10% on your next WoW gold purchase!

      • Loqi

        Needs to be less coherent.
        convert Islam. 10.99 $usd = 10000g wow special price discount code “life

        • Artor

          Holy shit! YOU’RE the one sending all that spam! I’d recognize that style anywhere!

          • Loqi

            *shifty eyes*

    • unbound55

      Good reminder to check my spam folder. Hmm, mostly ads for “bigger” body parts. However, the on-line casino spam in German is rather interesting. But no MMO gold spam e-mails for the past week. I guess they found out I don’t have the dough for that anymore…

      • Nate Frein

        I have an email addy set up specifically for playing MMOs. I used it for nothing else and it’s got lots of numbers and letters and symbols to make it hard to guess. I use another email for everything else.

        End result: There’s nothing to connect my primary email to the MMOs I play, so I don’t get gold spam there. There’s also nothing to give away my MMO email addy to gold sellers, so I still only get emails from the actual MMO companies.

  • Beutelratti

    No evangelising here. Someone also called Mohammed sent me this though:

    “hi how r u
    hope ur fine
    i know that u dont know me and believe me i took long time searching for the right words to wright this msg
    first i saw u in here
    i wanna tell u that ur really beautiful
    really like ur pic its very nice
    i know maybe u got msgs like this from guys u dont know but am really
    interested in u and all i want now is to get a replay from u whatever u
    will write in this replay
    even if am bothering u with my msg just tell me and i promise i will not do that again u take care and have a good day
    thank u
    waiting ur reply”


    • islandbrewer

      May I just say, “Eeeeeeeew”? Or would that be too judgmental of me?

    • Loqi

      Ugh. Has that sort of thing ever elicited a positive response from anyone in the history of history? I just can’t imagine someone opening up Facebook, seeing something like that from a total stranger, and thinking “Oh wow! I’m flattered and totally not creeped out by this!”

      • Beutelratti

        It actually made me revise my FB-settings and now I can only receive messages from people I might know. Haha.

        On second thought … maybe that means I’m missing out on some life-changing evangelising.

        • invivoMark

          Your eternal damnation in a pit of fire hinges on your Facebook privacy settings!

    • Lillynyx

      I’m glad this guy said he would stop bothering you if you told him to! Some of those idiots who send things like that don’t want to back off. I know it’s not a big deal to block somebody (a total stranger) who is harassing you, but it ticked me off to have to do that. Do you think anybody ever actually responds positively to that type of come-on?

  • Jeff

    Receive 72 virgins in paradise using one weird old trick?

  • Bear Millotts

    Praise the All-Father!

    Valhalla is a better “heaven” than Xianity’s or Islam’s. Booze, Valkyries and Battle until the End at Ragnarok-and-Roll! Can’t be beat!

    Much better than hanging around and praising god all the time.

    • b33bl3br0x

      Only thing that worries me is that you’ve got to do all that marauding to get in. In today’s society marauding opportunities are pretty thin on the ground.

      • Loqi

        Plenty of raiding opportunities in Corporate America. It’s how Mitt Romney got nominated.

    • Artor

      It makes a nice change from the eternal harp music, but there’s only so much Scandinavian Death Metal I can take.

  • Gehennah

    I get them on YouTube, but not on Facebook as of yet.

  • Stev84

    There are no ice giants now. Which is undeniable proof that they have been defeated.

  • Glodson

    Maybe they should adopt the “I have money coming to me and need your money to get it” approach.

    “Dear sir Dr Brother, I have an abundance of virgins and will gladly give you some if only you can front me some faith to get this ball of Virgins rolling.

  • Rebecca Hensler

    If you weren’t on Grief Beyond Belief last week, you don’t know what poorly written evangelist spam is. And who else can claim that a Christian created — count them — 13 different Facebook pages, just to spam their secular community?

    Here’s a lovely example of what our pet evangelist honored us with, this particular time under the guise of a fake “Manhattan Freethought Society”:

    Manhattan Freethought Society: “he really suffered” “he is with Jesus now” “she had a horrible battle with pain but she is in a better place now” are all sweet and great words of comfort. but they are only true if the deceased died in Jesus! if they had turned their lives and trust completely over to Jesus Christ and trusted him for eternal salvation for sin.

    then yes! they are in A BETTER PLACE!!! They are reigning with Christ! but if the deceased died in a spiritually dead and lost state of sin. then they went straight to the flames of hell and their suffering is only beginning!!!

    if they rejected Christ Jesus’s payment on the cross for sin then death did not end their pain and suffering it was only the beginning!

    God’s Holy Word THE BIBLE tells us of a story about a rich man Luke 16:19-31.

    all his physical life he crowned himself king. he ended up in hell without Christ!

    he yearned for just one drop of wtaer he was so thristy!


    but he was also Spiritually thristy he now yearned to know the Christ he had rejected his entire life.

    hell is 10,000′s of degrees hot with no water! and it is not a consuming heat and fire like on earth.

    it is a tormenting heat. you wont die.

    the rich man wanted his 5 unbelieving brothers to know Jesus. he wanted them warned about hell. he now cared about and believed in EVANGELISM!

    and he believed in preachers and soul winners! he wanted God to send someone to witness to his family.

    oh and he prayed in hell!

    if someone never prays here in this life they will pray in hell!

    the rich man now prayed for

    1 water and salvation (he will now never get either)

    2 for his unbelieving family members

    3 for Revival and evangelism

    in Essence he became everything in hell that God wanted him to be in life

    if you die and go to hell like the rich man you will

    1 never again have to worry about a Christian bothering you with a Tract or sharing Jesus with you at your door or in public or on facebook.

    2 you will remember every sermon you heard and scoffed at or slept through.

    3 you will remember every gospel tract you found and trashed or through on the ground.

    4 you will remember everytime a pastor or soul-winner/evangelist pleaded with you to accept Christ.

    5 you will remember reading this facebook comment.

    and in 60 years, 200 years, 1000 years a million years ,etc you will still be burning.

    the rich man has been in hell now for 20 centuries.

    imagine at his funeral. someone said “he is in a better place”

    while those sweet words were said over his body his soul was screaming in hell.


    Jesus Christ shed his blood on the cross so that you can be forgiven of sin (and yes you are a sinner) and through him his gift of love and mercy you can be saved!

    “For all have sinned”

    Romans 3:23

    “For the wages of sin is death (hell) but the Gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” Romans 6:23

    Recieve Christ today.

    will you pray this prayer with me?

    pray sincerely,


    GOD BLESS YOU! if you mean that Jesus will save you from hell and change your life!

    and he is the only one who an help in times of sorrow.

    without Christ there is no hope.

    so are you good without God as MANHATTAN FREETHINERS SOCIETY page asks?

    no youre not and millions arent either.

    we all desperatley need him.

    have a blessed day


    Yeah. And it takes a special kind of crazy to harass a grief support page.