In two weeks I leave Ohio to live with Michaelyn in the state of the future: Kansas. I’m told that Kansas is a magical place, a model of competent upkeep and progressive policies, and I can’t wait to live there instead of some backwater, rundown hole teeming with fundamentalist Christians trapped in the good ol’ days and run by religious wackaloons more interested in cutting employee benefits and stopping abortion than fixing the state’s infrastructure. What a breath of fresh air Kansas will be.
So I’m scheduling the Uhaul.
Small Uhaul truck with vehicle towing trailer that I sweatily load and unload in the middle of summer with my own man muscles (comes with free swamp ass while moving): $1,230
To have a box delivered to my house, loaded by people who aren’t me, moved across the country by people who aren’t me (who I presume must be paid), unloaded in Kansas by people who aren’t me, all while I lay back downing margaritas: $1,207
What the fuck? How is the latter cheaper than the former? Thanks to all of you for reading my blog so I can afford this.