When the zombies come, stay the hell away from New Mexico.

In my most recent column for ShitZombiesSay.net I respond to an article where it was argued that New Mexico would be an ideal place to be in a zombie-infested world.  Ugh…

The first reason he gives is the terrain:NM terrain

Wow! What could be more conducive to survival than this? As it turns out, pretty much any place on earth.

As the author says:

With wide, open spaces like the mesa, dense hills and the desert, we’ll see those undead bastards coming miles away.

That is true, but with no natural obstacles it also means that zeds can see you from a mile away.  This is a problem since you have a finite pool of energy for doing things like running while zombies do not.  Good luck finding a safe place to sleep in the desert.

Also, how long are you going to be out in these wide-open, arid spaces?  While food may not be an issue for zombies, it sure is for humans, and there ain’t a whole lot of it in that picture.

More important than food is water, but the author talks a bit about that.

Water would be scarce, but New Mexicans are used to that.  Have we ever not been in a drought?

That’s an easy problem to deal with when you have running water.  When you don’t though, you’re more fucked than a porn star.  Look there’s a reason New Mexico and Utah are not very populous states and more lush states are: these conditions suck for human beings.  This is why settlers didn’t stop in New Mexico on their way to California.  If you’re going to be trying to make it in the wilderness with little experience doing so, you should try to play it as much on easy mode as you can.

Follow the link to read the whole article.

Also, are you an artist?  Would you like to make money for your art?  At present $3700 of the kickstarter project for the Shit Zombies Say book is to pay 37 different artists $100 for submissions that will go into the book:

Publication date: late August / early Sept. Art needs to be in by August 10th or SOONER! The Kickstarter closes August 8, 2013. We’ll be deciding and PAYING artists as soon as the funds are released.

1. We want artists who are passionate about zombies
2. Artist age is not restricted except on adult humor copy. We’d love to showcase some talented KIDS!
3. Artists do not have to be a professional illustrator
4. We have 1001 zombie jokes Artists can pick from to illustrate as well as chapter pages
5. Artist name goes in the book
6. Artist can include one social media link to be imbedded with their art in the EBook. Link will also be in the soft cover edition.
7. Art size is 8″ x 11
8. Art can be hand done or digital. Digital submissions 600 dpi or higher.

9. Tweet your art to @ShitZombiesSay once it is done. We want the WORLD to see it and we want to talk about YOU on all our social media platforms: Twitter, Facebook, our Bite Club Blog, foursquare, Pinterest, Instagram, etc.

10. We retain all rights to the original art but if we use it again for other products outside of the book, you get 10% of the net profits as royalties in perpetuity. There, it’s in writing for the world to see!

So head over to the kickstarter if you want to submit art to the project!

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